Author: Andrew Arthur Dawson

A teacher of meditation, a motivational speaker, a reader of numerology, and a writer by trade, Andrew Arthur Dawson is a spiritual man devoted to serving his Higher Power and bringing a lot more light and love into this world. This blog, www.thetwelfthstep.com is just one of those ways...

Hanging Out At Any Of Those “Barbershops”

“If you hang out at the barbershop long enough, you’re bound to get a haircut…”

I’ve lost count of the number of times that someone has taken a moment during their share at a 12 Step recovery meeting to mention this slogan. It’s become such a cliche now that I usually expect to hear it at least once during any time I attend a recovery meeting. But maybe that’s because this saying has such profound truth to it, especially for those who have suffered from an addiction at any point in their life.

It’s unclear where this slogan originated. My guess is that most people would probably say it began with Bill Wilson using it during the early days when he first started up the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The original idea behind this slogan was supposed to be a parallelism for those alcoholics who were trying to remain sober but still were choosing to hang out in bars. Eventually, it was found that those people who did that, only relapsed and fell back into an active state of alcoholism.

While I’m not a big fan of using any type of slogan when I speak, as you might already know from my previous entries, that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them like I do this one. Throughout my life, I have suffered from various addictions that began with alcohol and drugs and ended with sex, love, codependencies, and obsessions.  During the active periods of any of those addictions, I allowed my ego to run the show and rarely did I stay away from those people, places, and things that triggered me to partake in those addictions. Unfortunately, even when I began the path of recovery for each of them, my ego still held onto some form of control. It would convince me at times that it was ok to hold onto some of those people, places, and things, even though they triggered me. And the result was always the same. I fell back into one of the many addictions that had afflicted me previously.

When someone hangs around those people, places, and things long enough that are triggering for their addictions, the defenses and walls they built up for protection against those addictions begin to wear down. And being around any of them long enough, will totally remove every last bit of their defense until the person relapses completely back into their addition.

After my first few years of sobriety, I grew very comfortable, no doubt too comfortable, with the amount of time that had passed without taking a drink and a drug. As my sober years continued to pass by one by one, I went back to those bars and clubs, and made friends with those who were actively suffering from alcoholism and drug addiction. I stopped working on any type of spiritual recovery program and like that saying goes, the longer I hung around those toxic people, places, and things, the more I became like them. Thank God, I never did go back to alcohol and drugs, but what did happen was that I still grew more toxic, found other addictions, and increased my negative traits and character defects. Truthfully, it probably was only a matter of time before I would have picked up alcohol and drugs again at the rate I was going.

The bottom line here is this. Each of the 12 Step recovery programs have taught me a very valuable lesson and that is I can’t be around any of those people, places, or things, on any regularly basis, where my former addictions run rampant. Because if I do, there’s a good chance I’ll fall back into doing any one of them again. So for those former gamblers knowing this now, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those casinos. For those former sex and love addicts, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those pornographic websites and sex shops. For those former overeaters, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those all-you-can-eat buffets. For those former drug addicts, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those dealers and people still using drugs. For those former alcoholics, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those bars and liquor stores. And well, I’m sure you’re getting my point by now. But in any case, just know that that it really is true that a person who hasn’t had their haircut in awhile is eventually just going to get one when they choose to hang out in any one of those barbershops long enough…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Watering Those Seeds For Daily Spiritual Maintenance

Every day most people run through some type of routine maintenance in their lives. From the time one awakes to the time one goes to bed, a person goes through a gambit of things that might include waking up and stretching, showering, shaving, having coffee, heading to work, covering their responsibilities once there, having something to eat during the work day, going home, relaxing, watching television, eating dinner, reading something on the Internet, brushing their teeth, reading a little bit in bed, and eventually going to sleep. Of course, all of that would vary from person to person, depending on the day of the week and various other factors, but more than not, once that routine is established, it’s rarely changed. Unfortunately, there is a part of that routine maintenance though that many people irregularly do or never do at all and that’s a daily spiritual maintenance.

First off, let me explain what I mean by a daily spiritual maintenance by telling you what mine is. In my case, there are seven activities that I do each and every day to keep a solid foundation for my spirituality. In the morning, I always begin with some type of prayer on my knees, or if my pain is high, sitting somewhere with my head bowed. Next I move onto doing some type of silent meditation for at least thirty minutes. After that, I have a twenty minute audio attunement from one of my spiritual teachers that I listen to and repeat aloud alongside her voice. During some part of my day, I’ll take at least thirty minutes to recite a list of 29 positive mantras I created and will say them twelve time each. At another point in my day, I will sit at this computer for at least an hour or two and write another one of my daily spiritual entries for this blog. As I prepare for bed in the evening, I’ll write in a journal at least nine things that I’m grateful to God for from that day. When my day officially comes to an end, the last thing I do before I fall asleep is to pray as I did in the morning. And day after day, week after week, month after month, and now for almost a year, I have been completing this daily spiritual maintenance regardless of how I feel.

I’m sure there are some people who are going to think that my daily spiritual maintenance is rather extreme. But for a guy like me who lived in so many addictions throughout my life, where each contained their own toxic activities that I never missed a beat on any given day, doing all of these spiritual activities has become crucial to continue growing closer to my Higher Power. I’m convinced that it’s much easier to do the other daily activities of life such as showering, eating, going to work, etc, because all of them are required on some level to function and many of them even have an immediate payoff from doing them. So when one takes a shower, one usually feels better afterwards. When one eats some food, one usually feels better afterwards then too. And when one works at a job, one also get a paycheck that makes them feel better as well. But in the case of a daily spiritual maintenance, none of those activities appear to be necessary to function day to day, and often there is no immediate payoff from doing any of them. So for most people, the only time those activities seem to become necessary is when they hit a rough patch in life, and when the pain gets great enough. That’s when a daily spiritual maintenance is usually created and followed every day. That is until those rough patches begin to smooth out and the pain starts disappearing. And sadly, that’s when some of those daily spiritual activities begin to be skipped here and there until eventually, they are skipped altogether with excuses that there’s not enough time in the day to do them. I am telling you this because that is what I did for most of my life with any type of daily spiritual maintenance I tried to create. But thankfully, that’s not the case for me anymore.

Today, I do all of my daily spiritual activities regardless of how I feel on any given day. So whether I feel terrible or great, I consistently follow the same spiritual routine, even on those days, when my brain tries to tell me it’s ok to skip some of them. And what I have noticed from doing all of this every day now for almost 12 months is that even though I don’t normally get any immediate payoff from doing it, I have grown immensely on a spiritual level and am starting to see the long term benefits. A strong metaphor to something this compares to in life is when one plants a seed in a garden and then waters it every day. For awhile, they may wonder if anything is going to happen, but then one day, a little sprout pops out of the ground. If they stops watering that seed, there’s a good chance it will whither away and die. But if they continue to water, it sprouts a little more each day, until that moment comes when a beautiful blossom springs forth. I believe I am that seed and am watching myself grow now as I water myself every single day with my daily spiritual maintenance. And the best part about this is that I’m not sure if I’ve even blossomed yet.

So if you want to see your own life grow spiritually, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and ask yourself if you’ve been watering yourself every single day with any type of daily spiritual maintenance. If you haven’t, that might explain a lot of the unhappiness you’ll experience with life by not doing so. But if you have, know that all your watering is not in vain, as you too will soon begin to sprout into a beautiful blossom…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Who (Or What) Have You Made Your Higher Power…?

Ok, I’ll admit it, I know I have spoken a lot about my Higher Power, or God, if you will, through much of my writing in this blog. I’m sad to say that because of that, some people have come in here and read a few entries only to be turned off by its reoccurring theme. Others have even said I sound too religious. What’s funny is that I am so far from being that type of person, but more importantly, because of their comments, I realized I haven’t taken the time yet to write about why I have that reoccurring theme in the first place. The answer is quite simple actually. And it comes down to asking yourself two questions. Who, or what, have you made your higher power, and how happy has your life become as a result of that decision?

I think the words “Higher Power”, warrant a vert brief explanation at this point. In all 12 Step Recovery Programs, they have been used since the original founders of Alcoholics Anonymous first established them. It was those founders who discovered the only recovery from a life of addiction was to turn over one’s entire life to a power greater than themselves that was unconditionally loving and caring. They also knew that if they had used the word “God” instead, it would have brought up many negative connotations like it did for those people who thought my blog sounded too religious. I applaud those founders for that decision because there was a time that I too, had negative feelings when I heard the word “God.” Unfortunately for me though, that was also the time where the focus of my desire was on many different things, where each became my higher power and none were able to give me any real unconditional love or care.

You can make anything be the focus of your desire. And if that focus of your desire consumes most of your life, then it has become your higher power. The first thing that became my higher power in life was alcohol. Then it was drugs. Then it was cigarettes. Then it was sex and love. Then it was caffeine. Then it was money. And then it ended with it being certain people who I was codependent or obsessed with. Each of those things garnered at their specific points in my life, all of my focus and attention.  I dedicated my entire life to each of them to the extent where my world revolved around them. And I loved each of them dearly, more than anything else, when they were a part of my life.The sad thing is that none of them were ever able to care for me back in the same way, nor were they ever able to love me unconditionally.This is the precise reason why all of those things will do nothing more than drive us into a life of misery and unhappiness. And that’s exactly what it did for me for over two decades of my life.

Alcohol and drugs, sex and love, a new relationship, coming into a bunch of money, the latest gadgets and gizmos, cars and houses, cigarettes, caffeine, or any person one chases after, all will fail in the long run in the pursuit of eternal happiness. The truth is that they may work for a time as each did for me, but there also comes the time when they won’t. I spent years and years finding myself in the depths of despair because I placed many different powers that weren’t greater than myself as my higher power. But thankfully, two years ago, I finally woke up and realized my life was going nowhere. It was then that I found my Higher Power, which today I’m ok to say that it’s God. And to me God is everything now that is unconditionally loving and caring. None of those things that I chose as my higher power prior to this were able to do that. Not a single one. This God of my understanding, or my Higher Power as my recovery led me to find, does have those qualities, and loves me for me. While there has been constant challenges with my health conditions during these past two years, each has far surpassed any of my former attempts at finding long lasting happiness from within. While my world was a constant roller coaster of ups and downs, highs and lows, and anxieties and depressions before, now it’s become a lot smoother of sailing then I’ve ever been able to experience. And that alone makes following my Higher Power incredibly worth it.

Look, you can spend the rest of your life making anything on this earth your higher power. But when you find yourself living a life that often feels like a roller coaster, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and ask yourself two questions. Who, or what, have you made your higher power, and how happy has your life become as a result of that decision???

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson