Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Myra Rhodes, a little old lady living in Great Baddow, Essex, answered a knock on the door one Friday, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

‘Good morning, Ma’am,’ said the young man. ‘If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.’

‘Go away!’ said Myra brusquely. ‘I’m broke and haven’t got any money,’ and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. ‘Don’t be too hasty,’ he commanded. ‘Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.’ And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

‘Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.’

Myra stepped back and said with a smile, ‘Well let me get you a spoon, young man because they cut off my electricity this morning.’

Silly Joke #2

One day, Dave, the bus driver, was in his bus when the biggest man he had ever seen got on. The giant looked at the driver and growled, ‘Big Eric doesn’t pay’ , and took his seat.

Dave was only a little man and he didn’t really want to argue.

This happened for several days. After a week, Dave was beginning to get a little angry. Everybody else paid, so why not the big man?

So Dave went to the gym and started a course of body-building. He didn’t want to be frightened of Big Eric any longer.

Eight weeks later the driver had strong muscles and was feeling very fit.

At the usual stop, Big Eric got on. ‘Big Eric doesn’t pay’ , he barked; but this time Dave was prepared for him. He stood up, shaking slightly, and said between clenched teeth, ‘Oh, yeah? And why doesn’t Big Eric pay?’

‘Because Big Eric has got a bus pass’, the man replied.

Silly Joke #3

Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately ‘phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, ‘How was the honeymoon, dearest?’

‘Oh, Ma,’ she replied, ‘the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic…’

Then Jessica burst out crying. ‘But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Daniel started using the most ghastly language… saying things I’ve never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home…. Please Ma.’

‘Calm down, Jessica!,’ said her mother, ‘Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?’

Still sobbing, Jessica whispered, ‘Oh, Ma…words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.’

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Patience means trusting God even when your circumstances haven’t changed yet.” (Unknown)

Quote #2

“Patience with others is love. Patience with self is hope. Patience with God is faith.” (Unknown)

Quote #3

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you had in mind.” (David G. Allen)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

When A Movie Ordered From Amazon UK Showed I Still Have Work To Do Surrounding Patience…

Have you ever become so impatient with something that you ended up taking action rather than waiting, only to find out that your action wasn’t necessary whatsoever not too long after? This seems to be happening to me quite a bit lately, which is causing me to think the Universe is purposely putting me through one situation after another solely to cultivate a greater level of patience within me.

The most recent example of this deals with a movie I ordered from Amazon over in the United Kingdom. Being a movie aficionado, I tend to collect a lot of films for repeated home viewing, chiefly in the 3D format, but 3D Blu Ray movies are becoming harder and harder to find, especially here in the United States, so I’ve had to resort to ordering them over in Europe where the format is still alive and well. Thus, when I ordered “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” in 3D from Amazon UK and received an email indicating it was dispatched on April 30th, I didn’t have any worries, particularly with Amazon UK letting me know the movie would be delivered by the 17thof May.

Unfortunately, there was no tracking information for my package and as the days turned to weeks, I began to worry about when my movie was going to arrive. When May 16thcame and went with nothing in the mail, I contacted Amazon UK and inquired about my movie. The only thing they could tell me was that it was in transit and that if I didn’t receive it by the 25thof May, they would send me another copy free of charge.

After a few more days went by without receiving it, I made a fear-based assumption it wasn’t going to come at all, even though I had been told to give it till the 25th. I didn’t though, and instead contacted Amazon UK where I proceeded to raise a stink and express all my fears and worries. Because of that, they immediately agreed to send me a rushed replacement and ironically, the very next day, I had to chuckle when I saw my package containing my Jumanji movie sitting in my mailbox. Thankfully, I do have plenty of honesty and integrity today and swiftly contacted Amazon UK to cancel the replacement order.

Regardless, I didn’t brush this whole ordeal under the rug. Instead, I took a considerable amount of time to reflect, realizing in the process that this wasn’t the first time something like this had occurred. In fact, I’ve probably gone through at least a half dozen or more situations like this in recent times where my fear and worry caused me to take action rather than wait patiently, only to discover shortly thereafter my actions wasn’t necessary, as things always resolved themselves on their own.

So why is patience so hard for me and why did something as simple as a movie being delivered later than expected cause me to worry so much?

The answer for me is quite simple. I grew up always getting what I wanted more than not and continued to do so even into my adulthood. I frequently used money to get what I wanted, when I wanted, for most of my life. That was true until I lost the majority of it and my health back in 2010. Ever since, I’ve been challenged with one opportunity after another to learn the skill of patience the hard way like most of the rest of the world has had to learn and believe me when I say it’s not been easy.

Having been spoiled for much of my life and constantly finding ways to receive immediate gratification on plenty of levels, patience was never one of my virtues. Thankfully, I’ve come a long way though over the past eight years and have cultivated a much higher level of it, although as you can see, I still have some work to do.

Nevertheless, I’m grateful to at least be aware of that and to continue facing situations that will expand my level of patience, because ultimately, to be the spiritual disciple I wish to become in this life, a high level of patience is absolutely going to be required…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson