Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude remains the sole focus on my writing for the start of each week, which for today is for one simple fact of my life, that I haven’t given up on God or myself.

For those of you who have continued to follow my spiritual journey and musings of life via this blog, it’s definitely not a secret that I’ve struggled immensely with the health issues I’ve faced for years now. How many times at this point have I written about the pain and sorrow I’ve endured is probably countless? But also countless is the number of times I’ve written about me not being a quitter and continuing to fight on.

While I do have regular urges to give up and check out early, I haven’t. Honestly, it’s easy to think about doing so when both of my parents did by their own hands. In my worst of days and in my worst of pain- filled moments of life, I often find myself in my ego feeling that death would be better than life and that at least in death I might see my parents again. But deep down in my heart and soul, that’s truly not what I desire, as my deepest desire is to fulfill whatever God’s purpose is for me.

I tend to believe each of us on this planet have a purpose that’s not just to exist and find pleasure in life. I have come to a level of understanding on my own spiritual journey that we all have a Higher Calling. But far too often we never achieve it because we get lost in finding temporary happiness on this planet. In my case, all those things I found temporary happiness in were never enough to keep me going. What has kept me going though has been in continuing to believe that I have some Higher Calling, some greater purpose.

So, on those days when my pain is great, when my emotions run low, and my mental state gets frayed, I tell myself there is a great purpose to all of it and I fight on. I fight on to live rather than to die and remind myself I’m not a quitter like my parents were. And I do my best to not listen to my ego’s urgings that tell me I was just dealt a bad hand in life and that it’s never going to get better. Because somewhere within me, there still is a voice fighting on and telling me it will get better.

This is why on this Grateful Heart Monday, I am sharing my gratitude for still having a fighting spirit that not only continues to help me believe in myself, but also believe in God, and in having a greater purpose beyond all this. These may not be spiritual values I was shown, but they are ones I have learned over the years in all my pain and suffering, of which I’m sincerely thankful to have, especially on those days when my mind does it’s best to convince me to give up, yet my Spirit says to fight on, and so I do…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where expressing a slice of gratitude remains the sole focus of my writing at the start of each week, which for today is for something many probably wouldn’t ever discuss openly or be something to ever express gratitude for in a public blog. But in light of all the massive losses of life happening lately by the hands of another, I want to express my gratefulness today for having kept to the 6^th Commandment of the 10 Commandments my entire life, that being I’ve never killed anyone, including myself.

“Thou shalt not kill.” I’ve never thought much about the 6th Commandment for two reasons. One, I’m not a religious type of guy who has ever placed much thought on living out the 10 Commandments. And two, I’ve never been a violent person, as I’ve always been more of a pacifist. But recently, I found myself thinking about this specific commandment due to all the rising gun violence and mass shootings in our country, the Russian/Ukraine War and 26 other active wars/conflicts in the world, and a constantly rising suicide rate on our planet with one happening every 40 seconds now. Add in the fact that both of my parents died by their own hands and the many wrongful deaths I’ve come to learn in my 12 Step recovery from those who were under the influence of alcohol and drugs, and I suddenly am finding myself thankful I’ve never took the life of another, including my own.

I truly am grateful that I’ve never killed another in all my years, especially during those when I was addicted to alcohol and drugs, because I most certainly drove under the influence and was out of my mind far too many times. I also am truly grateful that I haven’t successfully taken my own life, as I most assuredly have attempted it in my past. I’ve even thought about it in recent years due to all the chronic health issues that constantly plague me. But my deepest truth is that I want to live, and I want to protect all the lives of others too, which is why I know I absolutely would be a Conscientious Objector if I was ever put in a war time situation. In light of that, I’ve often had people ask me if I would take a life if someone was coming at me or a loved one with a weapon in hand. My answer was still no because I just couldn’t live with myself and the guilt of it all.

So, on this Grateful Heart Monday, I wanted to express my gratitude for knowing with 100% assurance that I’ve never taken a life (including any animals!) and kept to the 6^th commandment my entire existence thus far. While I’ve broken several of the other commandments in my life, especially during my active addiction years, I felt the need today to express my thankfulness for having kept to at least this one. I truly do value all lives and am doing my best to value my own as well, because ultimately, I believe all lives matter…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude is the only thing that gets expressed, which for today is for the recent birthday trip my partner Chris and I took to the Smokey Mountains for our 60^th and 50^th birthdays.

I’ve never been to or through the Smokey Mountains, unless of course you include flying over them a few times towards other destinations. But, after numerous times where friends came back from the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area raving about their vacations there, we opted to do a trip there for his big 6-0 and my big 5-0. So, I wanted to honor that trip on this Grateful Heart Monday, for even as much as I was in heightened pain during much of it, like I have been on most vacations in recent years, there was much to still be thankful for.

At the top of that list was having my eyesight to see all the wonders of the Smokey Mountains. I’ve visited a few other mountain ranges around our country, but the Smokies are unusual in themselves and quite breathtaking, especially when the clouds get stuck in the valleys below them, giving them their very name. Chris and I drove extensively through the Smokies while visiting the area and witnessed some incredible views, including many natural waterfalls and springs, and especially from the tallest peak, Clingmans Dome, which sits 6,643 feet above sea level! The day we visited there it was around 70 degrees when we left on the 1/2-mile paved walk from the parking lot to the top, and in the mid 40’s by the time we reached it. I was very grateful that Chris and I made it there with all the pain we were experiencing in our bodies, as sitting on a cement bench in the clouds was definitely a spectacle to behold. Just as breathtaking, but in another way, was Cades Cove Loop, an 11-mile one lane road that goes through some of the most amazing scenery and wildlife in a valley far below the Smokies. There, we saw plenty of turkey and deer, two black bears, and several two-hundred-year-old homes and churches.

Gratitude on this trip also greatly includes the place we stayed at for the five nights we were away, as it afforded us a beautiful view of Dollywood and Pigeon Forge and the mountains beyond. It was a log cabin home situated high atop a mountainside in a town named Sevierville and was adorned with an outdoor hot tub, rocking chairs on two different balconies, a billiards table, an indoor jacuzzi tub, and plenty of space to spread out and relax. Personally, I was most grateful for the nighttime views I had of Pigeon Forge’s tourist strip as I soaked in the hot tub, especially when several storms rolled in over the mountains.

And speaking of Pigeon’s Forge’s tourist strip, we opted to dabble a little in both its activities and some in Gatlinburg. While there are some rather extreme tourist things to do in this area, we opted for the less extreme side of things, which included playing three different mini-golf courses (Toy Box, Ripley’s Davy Crocket’s, and Hillbilly Golf), rode several mountain coasters (Smokey Mountain Alpine Coaster and Rocky Top Coaster), which if you haven’t ever done one, it’s essentially a self-controlled roller coaster down the side of a mountain, trips to three different Starbucks (yes, I know, my one addiction got satisfied!), and ate in town twice (The Park Grill on Chris’s birthday and Sunliner Diner on mine).

Something that others might not find gratitude in, but I did, was how friendly people in the Smokey Mountain area seemed to me. Compared to what I’ve become accustomed to in the Midwest, which at least for me hasn’t felt all too friendly mainly because people say I’m too transparent and personal for them, I was quite thankful to have struck up so many random conversations with total strangers who shared much of their own personal life stories with me!

And last, but definitely not least, I want to end this Grateful Heart Monday with gratitude for my partner for doing his best to make my 50^th’ birthday special and unique, for finding the log cabin we called home for five days, for orchestrating the majority of this trip, and for doing his best to help me through my bouts of pain and suffering, including patiently drive on roads that at times, frankly terrified me, especially high up in those Smokey Mountains!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson