Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Thanks for joining in to another entry in my blog series, Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude continues to remain my only focus of my writing. For today, I am dedicating my gratitude to all those I’ve come to know over the years in recovery whose lives were eventually taken away by their addiction, including my friend Anthony A., who just recently passed away due to an accidental overdose.

While I know there are some who probably would be grateful for unhealthy reasons, thinking things like “good riddance”, when an alcoholic or drug addict they once cared about suddenly dies from an overdose, I’m not one of them. That’s because I consider it a great loss each time anyone loses their life to a tumultuous addiction. While it indeed may be heartbreaking for me to see any life lost to an overdose, rather than focus on that tragic loss, I’ve always felt it important to dwell on the positive parts they left behind, as they’re always there.

In Anthony’s case, he was a good father to his daughter Mia, a loving partner to his sweetheart Kara, a funny guy who knew how to make plenty laugh, a caring guy with a caring heart who would help out when needed and called upon, and someone whose smiles and grins could make others follow in suit. Although it’s been well over 7 years since I last saw Anthony in any my 12 Step social circles, I will always remember his good-natured charm each time I saw him when he’d give me a big hug.

Dwelling on any of the negative legacy an addict leaves behind when they suddenly die from their disease though just leaves the door open for unhealthy resentments. That’s why I find it important to shift any negativity onto remembering the good the person did while here, as it helps immensely in the grieving process. What also helps in that is remembering that each was a child of God, worthy and deserving of love, rather than focusing elsewhere, leaving a door open in the process for judgment and hatred to form.

Nevertheless, I have seen lately that addiction and deaths from overdose have been increasing rapidly in these pandemic times, which most likely is due to the very limited in-person 12 Step meetings, infrequent social gatherings, and a serious lack of human interaction and touch, each being things meant to help an individual remain clean and sober. It’s in those three things where I regularly saw the good in Anthony, as well as in a number of others who have since passed on due to overdoses as well.

People like Aaron, Derek, Danny, Charlie, Bobby, Paulie, Beanzy, and countless others who came into my life at various points in my recovery and blessed it far before their addiction took them out of this world and into the next. So often people navigate to anger first when an addict dies from their addiction. I think it’s easier to feel angry than feel the pain of their loss. But as a person grieves, they find that below their wall of anger is a well of sorrow and tears emanating from the love and the good that person once shared with them.

Frankly, it’s never easy when any addict, who was also a loved one, suddenly passes away from their disease, but it’s far easier to deal with their death remembering the positive things they did while here, rather than dwelling on the negative, which is how I’ve learned to be grateful each time another tragedy like this occurs.

So, I dedicate today’s Grateful Heart Monday to you, Anthony A., and the countless others I once knew in my recovery life who have each at various points touched my heart and helped me to keep going, clean and sober, one day at a time, and for that alone, I’ll be forever grateful.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude remains my only focus at the start of every week, which for today is for a big repair getting done on my car for free from damage done to it 10 years ago!

My car is old, 14 years old to be precise. It has over 271,000 miles on it and it’s a Camry Hybrid of which I’m the original owner. I’m quite thankful for this car and continue to do what I can to keep it going, given I don’t have a job and regular income to justifiably purchase a new vehicle or even a used one for that matter. Unfortunately, my car has sustained a few accidents over the years that have led to some major repairs. One such repair took place in April of 2011 when someone hit the entire left side of my vehicle. This repair was done at a small body shop in a town named Woonsocket, which is in Rhode Island. About two years after that repair, I moved to Toledo, Ohio and shortly thereafter, while washing and waxing my car one day, I noticed a small pea-sized bubble in one of the areas that had been repaired at that body shop. I had no idea what it was but assumed it was just a minor flaw from that body’s shop’s work and given I was now over 650 miles away, I had no choice but to do my best to ignore it.

As time went on and the years passed, that bubble grew larger and larger, until rust began to show its ugly face there, eventually turning into a much bigger problem. From time to time, I’d get estimates as to how much it would cost to fix the problem. All usually came in around $3000 leaving me with no choice each time but to accept the issue and tell myself it’s just an old car. Unfortunately, that was the only area of rust on my entire vehicle, which irked me at times given I couldn’t afford to take care of it. After going through an incredibly snowy and salt-drenched road winter here, the problem exacerbated all the worse.

One day though, about four weeks ago now, I had a strange thought and wondered if the claims area of my insurance company might be willing to fix the problem since it originally stemmed from a claim. I had nothing to lose so I called them up and quickly received the first piece of gratitude when I discovered the repair would indeed be warrantied if proven to stem from the original job, because it had been done at one of their licensed body shops. The second piece of gratitude came right after that when they told me I wouldn’t have to go back there to get the work done and could take it to one of their local body shops. About a week later, the third piece of gratitude came when the estimator showed me where the original job hadn’t sealed the paint correctly and how that rust bubble began, solidifying that it was a warrantable repair.

So, by the time this article gets published, my car will be in a local body shop getting fully repaired, and for free! After having dealt with this problem for the past decade, it’s a no brainer for me to dedicate today’s Grateful Heart Monday to this good fortune, for something good happening for once in my life, and for a problem that has most definitely frustrated me for far too long, finally getting the much-needed repair that has been long overdue.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson