Category: Healing From Chronic Pain And Illness

Recently I had a disagreement with a friend in recovery about the concept of suffering. In his spiritual background, which is Buddhist, he feels that while pain is mandatory, that suffering is completely optional. With the spiritual background I grew up with, which is Christian, both pain and suffering are a part of one’s journey to grow closer to God. While I can’t honestly say whether one is more true than the other, what I do know is that I’ve actually practiced both philosophies and each have worked for me at various times in my life.

There actually was a time that I fully believed that suffering was totally optional. During that period, I can safely say I didn’t have too many difficult things going on in my life. I was earning a good living, my health was pretty much intact, and I was quite physically active with sports to keep myself in shape. For what things that did arise during that time that could have brought me suffering, I was able to channel them into many different facets and in doing so, kept it mostly at bay.

But over the past five years, I’ve gone through such incredible pain that all those facets I once might have delved into to prevent me from suffering have become next to impossible to do. Now I bear the brunt of so much pain on a daily basis without many outlets to tune it out that I am finding I’m suffering a lot more. That’s in stark contrast to when all this began when I still had much of that Buddhist philosophy working and felt that suffering was indeed optional.

Lately, I have been suffering quite quite a bit, none of which I believe is being caused by my own actions like much of it used to be in the past. And I continue to do my absolute best to put one foot in front of the other each day to keep going. But is the suffering I’m going through now still optional? Is there truly some switch that I can just turn off and deal with all my pain but not suffer from it? I don’t know.

What I do know is that I am suffering…a lot actually, but I continue to turn my will and my life over to God and seek comfort from Christ to get through it every single day. So I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe spiritual philosophies work for people depending on what they’re going through at any point in time.

For my friend who has his own set of life circumstances going on, his Buddhist philosophy of feeling that suffering is optional is working for him. As for me, seeking Christ and God and continuing to go through the pain and suffering I am going through is doing one good thing for me. It’s helping me to draw closer to my Higher Power, which is something I was so far away from before all this suffering began years ago. Nonetheless, I’m sure more will be revealed on my spiritual journey with whether suffering truly is optional or not, the longer I remain on firm spiritual ground… 🙂

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

I didn’t feel like I had the best Thanksgiving this year due to the ongoing sufferings I continue to deal with in regards to my current state of health. With that being said, I found myself thinking quite negatively about it until I realized that I needed to take a closer look and find a little thanks in it, because it’s always there, usually just beyond the ego’s perception of things. So here are five of those things I truly have to be thankful for, from this year’s Thanksgiving.

First and foremost, I most definitely had an abundance of food present throughout the entire day, which is something not to be taken lightly given the amount of people presently dealing with starvation on our planet.

Secondly, I had a loved one, my partner Chris, to spend the entire day with, whereas I know of so many people who had to spend the day completely alone given they had no family and no significant other to enjoy it with.

Thirdly, I spent it completely clean and sober from not just alcohol and drugs, but also from all of my former addictions. It truly is a miracle to go through any day, especially a holiday, free from every one of my past toxic outlets and behaviors.

Fourthly, I had a number of phone calls and text messages this year wishing me the best of day, which is in stark contrast to so many years in my past where I heard from next to no one.

And fifthly, although I perceived my health to be relatively poor from where I wanted it to be on this year’s Thanksgiving, I know there were vast numbers of people who suffered far worse with their health on that day. In my case, I was still able to get out of bed and leave the house on my own accord, had all my senses and normal bodily functions working, kept most of my sanity intact, and I did this all free from medication. I’m sure there were many who probably weren’t able to say the same.

Thus, looking at the day now, I had a far better Thanksgiving than my ego wanted me to believe I had, which is precisely why I must continue to do small exercises such as this, as each help me to find thankfulness in life, especially on a day which has that very word in it.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

I heard a guy in a recovery meeting the other day say how he didn’t believe in a Higher Power because his life has mostly been filled with depression and despair for the past few years. He truly felt that if there were a Higher Power, that They wouldn’t have let him felt this way for as long as he has. While I felt his pain because of how much of it I’ve been going through myself, I actually have a totally different perspective and it deals with something called blind faith.

The harsh reality I have is that I’ve gone through more pain and hardship than I ever could have imagined I’d go through on my journey to become a more spiritual being these past bunch of years. Often my brain has tried to convince me there is no God because of how long I’ve been enduring what I have. Yet through all of it, I’ve still been able to remain clean and sober from not just one addiction, but all addictions that I ever fell prey to. So what has kept me free from all those poisons?

It can’t be my self-will, because that always led me straight back into any one of my former addictions.

It’s not another human being, because time and time again, I’ve seen how relying upon someone else in my life inevitably failed me at some point or another and led me straight into one of my former addictions as well.

And frankly, it’s not any physical possession either because they have only ever led me to wanting more of them, which was essentially just another one of my addictions.

The only answer I have to what has kept me clean and sober from all my former addictions, even in the midst all the pain and hardship I’ve gone through, is that it’s something much greater than me. And while I’ve never had any irrefutable proof of It’s existence, nor ever heard It speak directly to me, nor seen any other being of Light beyond this plane of existence, I’ve somehow still managed to make it this far, free from so many former poisons.

And while I may have battled my own depression and despair through all of this, I have continued to seek my Higher Power, even though I’ve never found any solid proof It even exists. This is what blind faith is and that’s what I will continue to maintain because so far, it’s the only thing I feel has kept me clean and sober from so much poison I used to consume in such excess, every single day of my life.

The bottom line with blind faith is this. It often means taking spiritual steps forward without any signs that a Higher Power even exists. But in all actuality, I feel that sometimes there are signs all around us of our Higher Power’s existence, it’s just not the ones our ego desires. In my case, it’s the fact I’m still clean and sober from all my former addictions. And that alone is enough to maintain my blind faith that You exist God. Thank You for my sobriety.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson