Category: Recovery From Addictions

I frequently hear people ask “Is Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) a religious program?”

There is one simple answer to this question, whether it applies to AA or any other 12 Step recovery program for that matter.

No…

Over six decades ago, Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith sought to establish a program that would help individuals suffering from alcoholism find recovery. One of their main goals was to create a process that wasn’t too religious-based. At the time, the only thing in existence that was trying to help alcoholics recover was the Oxford Group, except it was extremely Christian-centered. Bill and Bob knew they needed to move away from that if they wanted to find a lot more acceptance to their recovery program. When they created the 12 Steps, it was done in a way to help those who might be atheist or agnostic, and even those who might have turned away from religion long ago. The absolute key that solidified all this was in their second step, which guided alcoholics to find a Power greater than themselves who could restore them to sanity.

It was never specified what that Power was supposed to be. The founders of AA left that for each individual to discover in their own spiritual journey to recovery. When I first started out on my own path to that, I was both afraid and angry with God. I also had a hard time believing I was going to find a Power greater than myself who would help me find full recovery from not only my alcoholism, but all my other addictions as well. My first sponsor helped me immensely with all of this, when she said to believe that she believed there was a Power who could do that for me. So for a good while I did what she said and followed the steps by believing that she believed I’d find that Power for myself.

While I wasn’t atheist or agnostic, I was one of those who had turned away from religion long ago because of the idea of a punishing God. I also couldn’t understand how the God I was brought up with would let so many bad things happen to me. These are the reasons why I was both afraid and angry with God and why a religious recovery program wouldn’t have worked for me. Thankfully, Bill and Bob didn’t establish that type of a program and instead, I was able to find my own path to a God of my understanding who was quite UNLIKE the God I had been brought up with in church.

The God of my understanding today is an all-loving, all-accepting, and all-forgiving God who didn’t punish me or cause any of the bad things to happen to me. I learned that all those bad things that happened were because of the mass amount of self-will that runs riot in this world. Now, when I see the words “God” or “Him” or “Power” in the 12 Steps, it is the God of my understanding that I believe it’s referring to. As for any other person who is seeking recovery, they too can create their own perception of who God is.

So if you happen to be someone who is seeking recovery from an addiction, please don’t be scared when you see some words or phrases in the 12 Steps that seem too religious-based. I can attest that while those words may seem that way, they’re not. No matter what level of belief you have and no matter what your conception of God is, the only thing you need to do is be willing to believe in a Power greater than yourself. Whatever you end up choosing, as long as it’s not yourself, I know it will help lead you to find recovery from your addictions, like my God did for me.

And if somehow you find yourself still struggling with believing there is some Power greater than yourself, who can you help you find recovery from your addiction, then believe that I believe, until you do…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

On some level, I believe everyone has some form of an addiction. While many like myself have taken steps to face this reality, the sad truth is that not everyone does. But, an even more dangerous place to be in, is when a person isn’t even aware at all they are addicted to something.

For clarification purposes only, an addiction is an over-dependence on a particular substance, thing, or activity and there are infinite numbers of them on this planet that a person can become hooked on. They range from alcohol and drugs, to hoarding items, to consuming chocolate or ice cream or chips, to working out, to cleaning, to gambling, to having sex, to falling in love, to buying clothes, and well you get the point.

I should know because I’ve discovered and become a slave to many of them. There was a time though where I wasn’t even aware of it. During those days, I spent my life becoming consumed by each of them, except I still managed to earn a living, to maintain my friendships, to keep my appointments, and to live a normal semblance of life. At some inevitable point though, the addiction always took over where it became my first and foremost concern in life. That was when I began to truly see that I was addicted to whatever it was at the time. Unfortunately, the damage is already done by then, and that’s why addictions can be so deadly.

Recently, I met an acquaintance of my partner who was completely unaware of his own sexual addiction. During a 45-minute conversation, 80% of it was focused solely on his sexual escapades. In fact, it started from the onset when my partner and I randomly stopped by his house to say hello given that we were in his neighborhood. One of the first things he said to us upon opening his front door was that he initially thought the knock on it was from one of his weekly sexual rendezvous’. By the time we left, I learned more about this man’s history of having orgies, going to rest stops and xxx stores, and placing sexual ads out on craigslist, then I wanted to. The strange part about it all was how comfortable he was in talking about it. When I had asked him about whether he ever desired to have a monogamous partner, he basically told me that probably would never happen because of how much he enjoys his random sexual encounters.

From all appearances, this man’s life has been functioning just fine for years doing what he’s doing. What he doesn’t realize though, is that there will come a day when it won’t. And when that day arrives, he may not even attribute what’s happening to him as a direct result of living in this addiction for so long.

People, who become addicted to something such as sex, don’t realize the poisonous seeds that are being planted within them each time they engage in their addiction. It’s easy to correlate something such as getting some type of cancer when a person has been smoking for years with no problems. But there are some addictions that a person can function in for great lengths of time with no problems, and even when some appear, it’s hard to correlate a connection. Many rarely think of anxiety, depression, and chronic physical pain issues as the result of an addiction. The truth is, they can be the end result of them just as much as cancer can be for a chronic smoker or becoming completely in debt from gambling.

I’m very thankful that all the addictions I’ve been a prisoner to are all now in remission and I believe they will remain that way as long as I keep my devotion to serving God. Today, some might say though that I still have one addiction active, and that’s to God. I can’t disagree with them on that notion, but what I can say is that if this is an addiction, it seems to be reversing all the damage the other ones did to me throughout the years. I take that as a good sign that it’s ok to live with this one for the rest of my life.

So if you should ever find yourself being questioned by others because of some over-dependence they think you have on a particular substance, thing, or activity; unless it’s to God, you may want to take it as a warning sign. You may have become a functioning addict on some level. If you choose to ignore this, please understand that it will only end up leading you to damaging more of your mind, body, and soul. But face it now, and there’s a good chance that you will find complete recovery from it and be able to live out a much happier and spiritual based life down the road.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“CALL ME BEFORE YOU PICK BACK UP!”

This is a common statement that most sponsors and people who have some time in recovery will say to a newcomer in any of the 12-Step programs. Unfortunately, it’s rarely done. Instead, what happens all too often is the exact opposite.

For any individual who is on the fence with the idea of relapsing back into their addiction, it’s sad to say, but in most cases, they’ve already gone ahead and done it in their minds. And the time it takes for them to follow through with the physical action of doing it isn’t far behind.

So why is this?

It’s actually quite simple. They haven’t had enough pain yet.

As Bill Wilson once said it, pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth. When a person starts to find recovery from whatever their addiction is, it’s usually because they are already in great pain from doing it. The real scary part for them though is when that pain begins to feel even greater as they start their step work with their sponsor. Doing step work is no different than any other toxin or poison removal based process. As that person gets into the meat and guts of the steps, those toxins and poisons begin seeping out. When this happens, it can create the illusion that the pain is far worse than when they were using their addiction as a crutch. But what they don’t realize is that all the pain they’re feeling is coming from the healing process.

It’s really unfortunate how many give up at this stage. Instead of calling their sponsor for help and guidance, they begin to think about using their addiction to deal with this perception of increased pain. And as I said earlier, when a person reaches this stage in their mind, most will go back out.

I have found the only thing that has kept me from relapsing back into any of my addictions is a much closer relationship to God. The original twelve steps that Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith created was geared for this specific reason. They mentioned God in six of the twelve steps, as they understood long ago that there was no human power than could ever prevent a person from relapsing.

So in many ways, telling a newcomer to call if they’re thinking about picking back up can really just be lip-sync. While it does offer support to them on some level, a better approach is to begin working immediately on helping that newcomer grow closer to their Higher Power. As it truly is that Higher Power who will be able to prevent them from picking back up. And it’s only that Higher Power, and not a phone call to anyone in recovery, that will ultimately give them enough strength to working through all of their pain, once and for all.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson