Category: Words To Live By

Sometimes we as human beings self construct our own prisons around ourselves. Quite often that can happen when we feel there are limitations being put on our life. I’m guilty of this, as I currently feel that way about several things I’m still dealing with in my own life. My spiritual teacher has challenged me though to write about each of them and then produce an affirming statement that flip-flops myself out of each of those self-made prisons. So here goes…

• Prison One – The biggest prison I feel I’ve constructed around me is one related to having the physical health issues and limitations I’ve been enduring for the past four and a half years. There are so many things I miss doing in life because of these physical limitations such as hiking, biking, walking, running, various sports, going to amusement parks, etc.
• Flip-Flop One – I am learning how to appreciate my current state of physical health so that I will have plenty of gratitude when my Higher Power restores all of my physical health and I’m being fully physically active once again in every area of my life.

• Prison Two – The second prison I feel I’ve constructed around me has to do with the meditations I do daily. It’s been more than seven years since I was able to achieve reaching any of the deeper meditative states no matter how hard I try.
• Flip-Flop Two – I am learning how important it is to not escape what I’m feeling inside, especially when I’m feeling down and out, and I know that once I’ve fully learned that lesson my Higher Power will lead me into meditations that are deeper than anything I’ve ever experienced.

• Prison Three – A third prison I feel I’ve constructed around me has to do with my lack of close friendships in life. Sometimes I believe that no one really gets me and that’s why I don’t have any close friends. While I may know a number of people in this world on a casual basis, I definitely would like to have a few become deeply spiritual-based friends who treasure me in their life.
• Flip-Flop Three – I am learning how to have a best friendship with myself first so that I can truly appreciate my own company, as the more I do this, the more I’m able to be a great friend and show unconditional love towards each of the people my Higher Power will be sending into my life to become a life-long spiritual friend.

• Prison Four – The fourth and final prison I feel I’ve constructed around me has to do with my ongoing lack of employment. It’s been almost five years now since I parted ways with my last job, which was the bed and breakfast I used to own. Since then, I’ve continued to question what my Higher Power wants me to do for a living but I know it’s not to randomly just do anything.
• Flip-Flop Four – I am learning how to be more selfless and giving in life by working first on my recovery, my writing, and volunteering so that my Higher Power will be able to use me for the job I’ve always been meant to do, which is one I know will bring me great happiness and joy doing.

As I end this exercise, which really was one that channeled the power of positive thinking, I’ve decided to reshape things by stating that I’m not in any type of prisons at all. Instead, I think it’s best for me to say that my Higher Power has me in some temporary waiting areas that are all for the purpose of my spiritual growth. But you know what? I think my number is about to be called in each of these areas and I truly can’t wait to see what’s next!

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Do you think it’s important to thank God (or whomever your Higher Power is) for what you do have in life? I do, especially on days like today when I’m feeling rather down and out and my ego starts trying to tell me that my life sucks, because it really doesn’t.

Over the past few weeks I’ve really been struggling with my physical health and given the longevity I’ve been enduring some of these issues, my thoughts have strayed a bit from actually being thankful to God. But I’m a firm believer in the notion that things could always get worse and I’m also quite sure there’s an abundance of other people out there who could take one look at my life and wish they were in my shoes. With that being said, I decided it was crucial to my health, my recovery and my spirituality to thank God today for at least ten things I do have, as I know it will help me to turn this negative thinking around.

Thank you God for the health I do have, as I know there are plenty of others who are considerably unhealthier in life.

Thank you God for my loving partner, as I know of numerous people who are single and long to be in a loving committed relationship.

Thank you God for the bountiful food, water, and shelter I have, as I know too many in this world are starving, dying of thirst, and homeless.

Thank you God for my recovery from a life of addictions, as I know there are far too many still out there slowly dying from this disease.

Thank You God for my spiritual teacher, as I know I wouldn’t be as far along on my spiritual path without her.

Thank You God for my ability to read and write, as I know that illiteracy is really a serious problem in our world.

Thank You God for my gift to spread hope and spiritually motivate others, as I know so many are in need of a lot more of that in life these days.

Thank You God for the loving relationship I have now with my sister, as I know there was a time when she wasn’t able to even tolerate my presence.

Thank You God for the unconditional love I have for myself today, as I know there are profuse amounts of people on this planet who live with so much self-hatred.

Thank You God the people who consider me their friend today, as I know there was a time when there were none.

And one more for good measure…

Thank You God for all the guidance and direction You continue to send me, as I know without out I probably wouldn’t be doing positive things for myself like writing this entry… J

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Are you an honest person?

I fully believe one’s answer to this question is always going to be totally dependent on their relationship to their Higher Power.

When I came into recovery from a life of addiction, my Higher Power was definitely not running the majority of my life. In fact I was, or at least I was trying to, and I was doing a very poor job of it. In turn, I was far from being an honest person, but if you had asked me this question back then, I’d probably say I was. That’s only because I wouldn’t have wanted you to think less of me. I think that’s one of the major reasons why a person lies about anything. Regardless, it wasn’t until I began working on the 12 Steps did any of this change.

The first thing I had to become honest with in the 12 Steps was myself. I lied to myself for years believing I wasn’t an alcoholic, a drug addict, a sex and love addict, a codependent, etc. When I practiced Step One with each of these addictions though, I had to admit I was powerless over it and that my life had become unmanageable, and in doing so, I also grew a little more honest in life. Although I was able to successfully practice this step in entirety, my recovery program and my spiritual life consistently came to a halt because I kept avoiding the second part of getting honest, which was with my Higher Power.

I had avoided my Higher Power for several decades by engaging in so many addictions and frankly, I was pretty afraid of what was going to happen when I finally got honest with that Higher Power. The 12 Steps helped me to overcome that fear though and led me to use prayer as a tool to start that process. And although I believed my Higher Power already knew of everything I had done in selfishness, darkness, and hate, prayer became my way of admitting it openly to my Higher Power. The more I prayed about these things and tried to turn them over to my Higher Power, the more I felt myself getting more honest in life. But there was a third and final part I still had to get honest with as I practiced these steps, and that was with everyone else.

The pattern of me being dishonest with everyone else began as a very young kid when I would lie to my mother out of fear of catching her wrath. Over the years my lies to others would grow as my addictions did. Most of the time I lied to save my ass or to gain undeserved approval, but in either case, I wasn’t an honest person on most days. Even after I began practicing the 12 Steps, I found it rather hard to break this pattern. I often glorified my recovery in meetings or to sponsees, even though I was still living toxically on many levels. Thankfully, I had a good wake-up call to this level of dishonesty when I tried to kill myself and landed in the mental ward of a hospital. It was there I realized I had not been completely honest with my Higher Power about certain behaviors in my life that I knew were toxic for me, yet I had kept right on doing them. After I prayed about each and turned them over to my Higher Power, I can truly say that the honesty that emerged in my life was finally legit. While it might have taken me a very long time to ultimately find this level of honesty in every aspect of my life, the piece that has been the driving force to making it happen is my Higher Power.

The reality is that the farther away I’ve gotten in life from my Higher Power, the more I’ve tried to run the show, be controlling, and avoid things like prayer. And the more I’ve tried to run the show, be controlling, and avoid things like prayer, the more I’ve become dishonest with myself, with everyone else, and my Higher Power too. But, the closer I’ve drawn to my Higher Power, the less any of this has happened and instead, I’ve watched myself become far more honest than ever before with myself, with everyone else, and my Higher Power as well. So I guess you could say that I’m just grateful I do have a much closer relationship to my Higher Power today, because I know my level of honesty depends on it, as does my recovery from addictions and my spiritual journey in life too.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson