Category: Words To Live By

A few weeks ago as I was driving home, I noticed a group of baby geese attempting to cross the road I was travelling on. I braked, came to a complete stop and waited patiently as they crossed to the other side. Once I saw they were safe, I continued on my merry way home. Sadly, a Canadian woman named Emma Czornobaj did a similar thing on a Montreal highway four years ago and has now become a convicted murderer because of it.

For those who haven’t read this in the news yet, Czornobaj was driving on this Montreal highway in 2010 when she saw a family of ducklings in the middle of it. Concerned for their safety, like I was the other day for those baby geese, she suddenly stopped in the left lane hoping to help them. Meanwhile, Andre Roy, 50, was travelling closely behind on his Harley Davidson with his 16-year old daughter Jessie, when he suddenly slammed into Czornobaj’s stopped car. Andre died on the scene, while his daughter Jessie later did in a hospital nearby. Police reports state that Andre was speeding somewhere between 70 and 80 miles per hour in an area where the limit was only 60. But a jury unanimously convicted Czornobaj last week as the sole responsibility of this 2010 tragedy with two counts of criminal negligence causing death and two counts of dangerous driving causing death. The first carries a maximum life sentence, while the second comes with a potential of up to 14 more years in jail.

When I first saw this ruling in the news, I thought about my own many near misses of wildlife crossing roads I’ve been on over the years. In every case, I’ve always slowed down or come to a complete stop when I’ve seen any of it. Czornobaj was no different as she had love in her heart for some baby ducks she observed on the highway that day. Yet, a motorcyclist who was excessively speeding was not held with any responsibility in this terrible tragedy.

If there were anyone you’d think would blame Czornobaj the most for this accident, it would have been Andre Roy’s wife. She actually witnessed the whole thing as she too was driving on the highway that day, except more slowly from behind her husband’s motorcycle. But, she has openly stated she finds no fault in Czornobaj at all. The courts have directed otherwise though and imposed a ruling that I struggle greatly with to spiritually understand.

Day in and day out in this world, there are murderers, rapists, and violent offenders who escape conviction, yet a woman with no criminal intent in her heart is facing years to a potential lifetime in jail, all for the fact of her trying to help some wildlife survive. All of this has made me wonder even more about the legal systems of this world, and especially with where the hearts of those jurors were when they came up with the severity of Czornobaj’s ruling. While I do clearly see how there was some driver’s negligence on Czornobaj’s part for this accident, I can’t fathom her verdict nor can I grasp why an excessively speeding motorcyclist wasn’t held at fault for any part of it.

I do my best today to not speed when I drive, and I definitely believe if I was following too closely behind someone who braked for some wildlife, that it would be my fault if I ended up hitting them. Truthfully, I’m grateful for anyone today that brakes for God’s creatures trying to cross the road because I believe that all life matters. I always find it so sad when I see drivers and motorcyclists do the exact opposite when they run them over.

Sometimes things like this never make any sense to me on a spiritual level as to the how and why they play themselves out as they do. It is a tragedy that two deaths occurred because of Czornobaj’s attempt to help some baby ducks, but does someone like her who carries love in her heart for life itself deserve to go away for years, to possible life in jail because of it? I guess the only thing I can do is pray for God’s will in this matter and to do continue doing exactly as I’ve always done when I see any wildlife in the middle of the road, I’ll stop and try to protect it…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Are we defined by the jobs we hold? Why is it that one of the first questions that’s asked when meeting someone for the first time is “So what do you do for a living?” These are the questions I’ve been asking myself quite a bit lately since a friend brought the subject up with me the other day.

I have to admit I’ve been just as guilty of asking these questions, as I’m sure others have been as well. While I understand they’re often icebreakers to getting conversations started between two people that have just met, I’ve honestly never placed much thought to the impact they might have on the people I ask them to. However, that all began to change in the past few years since I’ve become someone unable to work due to the state of my health and the healing I’ve been going through. Before this transformation began though, there was a time I rather treasured when people asked me what I did for a living.

After graduating from a well-respected college, I held a string of high paying jobs for about a decade and with each I also held onto a huge ego. When I left the corporate world and purchased a high six-figured business, I was definitely more than happy to continue entertaining that question from anyone. But then came the day when I lost that business and all the money I placed into it. That was followed shortly thereafter with a rapid decline of my health.

Since then, I’ve found myself often cringing when I meet someone new, as I prepare myself for the inevitable question to come up of what I do for a living. Truthfully, it wasn’t so bad initially because people seemed to have compassion for what I was going through. Now that a few years have passed, I find many to not be as understanding and instead their words have become rather judgmental when they discover I’m still not in the workforce. What frequently happens now is that I end up fielding a lot of questions about why I feel I can’t work, where some have even gone as far to say that it seems like I’m making excuses or that I’m lazy.

My spiritual teacher has told me me that it’s really none of those people’s business to be asking these types of questions in the first place. I’ve come to realize that many of those that criticize or judge me for my lengthy unemployment are often jealous because they aren’t happy with they’re work life and wish to be in my shoes. What’s ironic is that I truly do want to work, except my body hasn’t cooperated enough yet on a consistent basis to do so. Thankfully, I have a very supporting partner who understands this and doesn’t place any expectations on me. It still doesn’t make it any easier though when I have anyone ask me that question of what I do for a living.

There is a positive thing that’s arisen out of all of this though. It’s the fact that I have much greater empathy now for those who aren’t in the workforce or who may be working at jobs they feel don’t carry much weight in this world. In the past I know I often wanted to know what someone did for a living because of my ego, but now I see it’s really not that important and asking it could also end up hurting the other person. That’s why I believe a person’s employment status isn’t what really defines a person at all, it’s what they do out of unconditional love on a daily basis. While I may not be working at a paying job at the present time, I am working on spreading as much unconditional love to everyone else in this world as I can, including myself.

So my bottom line is this. I fully believe that asking someone else what he or she does for a living can hold a lot of judgments, especially when the other person might not have a job or may have one they don’t feel carries much weight. With that being said, maybe then what we all should be doing instead of asking that question is to allow everyone else to define who they are all on their own. In doing so, aren’t we being a lot more unconditionally loving, then if we force a person to define themselves through their employment?

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Hopefully no one reading this has the first names of Nancy or Gus, but if you do, this article really isn’t about you. It’s about how I spent several decades of my life with two very distinct personalities, “Negative Nancy” and ‘Gloomy Gus”. In all essence, they truly were my best friends for all that time. That was until I finally saw how they did nothing more for me than drive people away and hinder my spiritual growth.

I believe we all learn how to be a certain way because of conditions and situations that carry on around us. In my case, growing up in a dysfunctional home where my mother and father always seemed to be negative and gloomy, it’s a safe bet to say I learned it from them. But why would anyone want to be this way you might ask? It’s pretty simple.

It initially will draw favorable attention and comfort from others.

Neither of my parents received the unconditional love and support from their parents, which they deserved when they themselves were growing up. By the time they reached adulthood and met each other, alcohol further complicated and numbed that reality. I can remember many moments where my mother would resort to that insecure little girl within her who desperately wanted to be loved and have all attention on her. Being negative and gloomy were the two main ways she was able to achieve that, as my father, sister, or myself would comfort her when she became that way. It was no different with my father either. He would go through many periods where he became the same exact way and my mother, my sister or myself would bring him the reassurance his insecure little boy sought. Sadly, being around this repeatedly for all those years and seeing how it gave my parents some benefit, “Negative Nancy” and “Gloomy Gus” got passed down to me.

I began to notice these two best friends were in my life through many of the friendships I drew in over the years as I matured. They say that those closest to us are often mirror projections of whom we really are inside. In almost every single case, every friend I spent the most time around carried that same rain cloud over them just like I did. Unfortunately, all those friendships ever did was foster codependent behaviors. It often became a battle of whose insecurity was greater, and whoever won did the comforting for the other’s negativity and gloom.

My addiction-prone life, the tragic loss of my parents, and various health-related issues, would only complicate and strengthen my belief that I needed “Negative Nancy” and “Gloomy Gus” to survive in this world. As they continued to give me the attention and comfort my own insecure little boy sought, I never understood why so many left my life after such a short period of time of being in it. That was until I realized how much my negativity and gloom sucked the life force out of those I was around, out of the rooms I was in, and out of the brightness that existed everywhere I went. Eventually anti-depressants and mental health medical diagnoses became part of what supported Nancy and Gus.

All of this accumulated until I spent four close years with someone who was the exact mirror projection of myself. I saw “Negative Nancy” and “Gloomy Gus” day in and day out in them. I attacked them repeatedly because of it, never realizing I was the same exact way. It wasn’t until I became willing to look in the mirror and see who I had become (my parents), did any of that change.

Through immersion into 12 Step recoveries, I drew closer to my Higher Power who helped me to finally see this within myself. I finally understood how this was a huge character defect within me that had supported me for so long. Over the past two and a half years, it’s been a huge undertaking to fully remove this defect of character.

I’m a lot better today because of the work I’ve put into letting go of “Negative Nancy” and “Gloomy Gus”. They are showing their faces less and less within me because I know now they will do nothing more for me than keep me spiritually frozen and alone. Thankfully, I find people being drawn into my life now, not because I’m being negative or gloomy, but because my Higher Power is transforming me into a spiritual beacon of complete love and light…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson