Category: Words To Live By

Happy Birthday To Me…Happy Birthday To Me…Happy Birthday Dear Andrew…Happy Birthday To Me…

It’s June 11th, 2013, and it’s also my birthday! 40 years have now passed since the day I was born. Sometimes I find it hard to believe how much time has actually passed since that day back in 1972. And wow, 1972, to even say that year makes me sound old. But I think it’s true what they say, that the older one gets, the wiser they become.

I really have been blessed with so much valuable wisdom throughout this life and it keeps on getting better and better the more I grow closer in my relationship to God. I’m grateful for that relationship and felt it might be best to share some of that wisdom in no particular order of importance, that God has imparted upon me so far in this life…

1. God does not discriminate, people do.

2. True happiness is something that money can never buy.

3. The only thing any addiction can bring is greater distance away from getting to know and love oneself.

4. Getting sober is just the beginning of finding recovery.

5. Every religion is just a different way of looking at the same God.

6. Religion is studying a pathway to God, spirituality is living a life with God.

7. If one doesn’t love themselves, they can never truly love another.

8. Prayer is the action of speaking to God and meditation is the action of listening for God.

9. Free will is really the same thing as self-will and both are often the opposite of God’s will.

10. Living life is all about learning lessons. The more one learns them, the greater one’s serenity.

There is so much more I could write on what has transpired in the 21,564,000 minutes that have passed since I took my first breath. But the most important thing that has transpired in my life today is my stronger relationship with God. Because of that, I am also celebrating on this very day, eighteen years of continuous sobriety of a life free from all alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes.

So in essence, I get to celebrate two special occasions today. Wherever they take me today doesn’t really matter so much as knowing that the real celebration in itself is to still be sober and able to take another breath of life…and it’s one that I hope will bring me even closer to God.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Recently I have been watching the reality television show The Voice on NBC. Normally in its past seasons, I haven’t been keen to tune into it because of two of its judges who I’m not a big fan of. With their hiatus in Season 4, I have enjoyed seeing it for the first time but have noticed something on it that has disturbed me enough to write about it. There have been many cases where each of its judges, who are also referred to as coaches, have said the words “You know I love you…” to a singer after one of their performances. What has struck me as odd when I hear them say those words, is that I’m not really feeling as if it’s coming from their heart.

The word “love” itself is defined in the dictionary as an intense and deep affection. I thought about that in The Voice’s coaches constant usage of it towards their singers. Could they really have that intense and deep affection towards one of them? Of course they could but I think what has got me pondering this is that I hear them say those words to just about every singer on every show. How this comes across to me is the same way I once used those words throughout my life.

In some cases, I once told people I loved them just because I believed it would make them feel better. In other cases, I would say them to those only in part due to knowing they wanted to hear me say it towards them. But in both cases, those words were rarely sincere because deep down inside I didn’t feel any deeply intense affection towards those people, or myself for that matter. As a result, I hurt many of them as my actions that followed spoke way louder than my use of those words.

I can’t truly say what the actions are of those judges on The Voice who are professing some level of love towards the singers beyond the few hours of programming that I am shown.  Is there greater bonding that is happening where the coaches grow close to these singers? Do they reach out and show these singers their love is more than just saying some words after a performance? And when one of those contestants is eliminated, do they stay in contact with them and continue to try to help them? I can’t answer any of those questions because the show doesn’t tell me. The only thing I can address is how I use that phrase now in my own life.

Where I once used it in a selfish or self-seeking way, God has helped me to use it for the right reasons now. I love myself so much more today and when I say those words to someone else, it’s because I truly mean them from every facet of my soul. So when l say them to a bunch of strangers at a detox I’m speaking at for my volunteer work with Alcoholics Anonymous, it’s because I want them all to know I’m there to help them in any way I can and will if I’m given the chance. When I say them to my sister or her children, it’s because I feel so much closer to them now and would do anything I could to support them. As for my partner, I probably say them to him the most. So when I say them to him at the end of phone calls, going to bed at night, or just because, I really just want to make sure there’s no doubt in his mind that I love him, because I really do.

The point I’m trying to make here is that I don’t want to use the words “I Love You” anymore just because of a hidden agenda or trying to make someone else feel better. That did nothing more than cause undue pain and hurt to those I said them to and myself as well. Because of a deeper relationship with God today though, that has changed greatly. I have been shown more and more how we are all connected to each other on a soul level. Because of that, I find I want to say those words a whole lot more today and actually, I have been. There is a difference though in my use of them now. That difference is that I know I really mean them.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

So often I have labeled things in my life as either good or bad. But I’m not so sure anymore that I should be labeling everything as so black or white. Yesterday I received some news that my old self would have classified as bad only. Normally, I would have allowed that news to consume me on a total negative level for the rest of the day, and possibly for many more days to follow. This time around though, I didn’t let it and chose to find the gray area instead.

That day started for me with my cell phone ringing. It was my Social Security Disability lawyer calling me. Twenty minutes later that phone call ended and I had to begin to digest the fact that the judge from my court hearing a few weeks ago had denied my case to receive disability benefits. After two long years of pursuing this which involved two prior denials, countless communications to practitioners to get letters about my status from them, writing a very in-depth personal testimony, a bunch of meetings with lawyers, and a whole heck of a lot of waiting and having to learn patience, I decided it was time to let my pursuit of this go and trust in God that there’s a greater plan for me coming.

I hear it all the time in my life that everything happens for a reason. I’ve even written about that very topic in previous blog entries. These last few years of enduring physical, mental, and emotional pain have been such a driving catalyst to continue pursuing Social Security Disability. But I am leaning in a new direction today that is more positive based then negative. I am trying to see the good in everything. And in this case, while I could appeal this judge’s decision and pursue it even further for a fourth go around, I am feeling that God is asking me to let it go instead and trust in Him that something good is still going to come out of this.

At the moment, I’m not exactly sure what that is, but I’ve decided to put it all on a more positive perspective anyway and create my own story as to why I was never approved. Maybe it’s because I still have some resources that are helping me to get by and I don’t need it as bad as some others might. Or better yet, maybe all of the pain I’ve been enduring for some time now that originally drove me to pursue this, is going to be lessening or ending in the near future. And maybe in that near future, I won’t be needing any financial assistance because I’ll finally be able to return to full time employment. Either way, I’ve experienced a lot of disappointing and tragic news in my life over the years from things such as this including my parents deaths, bad break-ups, job dismissals and losses, and more where each of which have always led to good things happening for me in the long run. And none of them could have occurred if those things I labeled as bad, had never happened to me in the first place.

So I have chosen since yesterday to look at this very differently as compared to how I once might have. I give credit to that being due to a deeper relationship and trust with God today. I truly believe that something good is still going to come out of this. While I don’t know exactly what that is or what my future holds now with this new bit of information, I’m sure it will be exactly as it’s meant to be, and probably even better than how it could have ever been if things had gone the way I thought they should have gone.

I realize now that the words “Good” and “Bad” are just black and white labels my ego wants to place on things way too often. Because of God, I’m am seeing now that there has always been a gray area to look at with anything that happens in my life, I just have to be open to seeing it.

 

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson