Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, a time I always reflect on gratitude from my life, which for today is for a woman named Martha Harris, who was once my therapist for many, many years.

Many eons ago, in a life lived in the Northern Virginia area, just outside Washington, D.C., I was a very scared and somewhat closeted individual who was in desperate need of some therapeutic help. At the time, I was also dealing with an active alcoholic mother and a broad range of mental, emotional, and physical health issues as well. One day, a couple I knew through a church I had been attending gave me a recommendation for a therapist that they had personally seen and found much benefit from. Her name was Martha Harris, and her practice was called Banyan Counseling.

Not too long after I received that recommendation, I got in contact with Martha and scheduled my first visit with her, which just so happened to be in the basement of her home, something I found great comfort in, as I rarely have ever felt comfortable in most professional medical offices.

There, I’d quickly learn during my first visit that Martha specialized in LGBTQ issues and being a lesbian herself, put me immediately at ease to fully open up about that part of my life. She was absolutely quite gifted in helping those struggling in that arena and was also someone gifted in working through gay couple’s issues, something I had plenty of in my last relationship.

One thing that always impressed me with Martha as well was her willingness to take her practice out into the world. What I mean by that is when I experienced a few roadblocks during my many years working with her, she’d come to various events I was at to observe me in my real life. Case in point, she actually came to my 30thbirthday bash at my home, which proved to be a great benefit in my therapy sessions that came after that.

But, the thing I’m most grateful for when I think of Martha, is that she was the one who taught me an alternative healing practice that helped me to heal a large number of energy blockages within my mind and body. Through applied kinesiology, I’d learn through muscle testing where many of those blockages were and each time they were found, she’d use a technique called Thought Field Therapy (TFT) to help heal them. TFT is a process that uses specialized “tapping” with the fingers at meridian points on the body and saying various affirmations at the same time, all to help remove various blockages within a person’s system.

It was also through my many visits to Martha that helped me to make it through my mother’s tragic passing, the loss of my last long-term relationship, and the financial failure I faced when my bed and breakfast business went completely under.

Martha was a part of my therapeutic life from mid 2000 to the end of 2007 and during that long period, I saw her at least once a week and sometimes even twice a week, where she always provided me a sliding scale for my visits, and made me feel like I was in my own home every time I had a session with her. I never felt uncomfortable with her nor did any of my sessions ever feel wasted, which is something to be said for the countless therapists I saw at various points in my life that I can’t even remember their names anymore or what they helped me with.

Something I appreciated with Martha as well is how she consistently accommodated my travel schedule and even saw me for 2-hour visits at times. Always compassionate, full of unconditional love and kindness, and non-judgmental in every way possible, Martha was definitely the first therapist I ever came across who I actually looked forward to seeing and opening up to.

Sadly, I’m not in contact with Martha anymore, as her own health issues led her to retire and distance herself from the majority of those she knew many years ago. And while it’s been a long time now since she and I last spoke to each other and even though hundreds of miles now separate her home from where I reside, my heart still feels quite close to hers, as she truly touched and blessed me in ways I will never be able to repay, which is indeed why I’m beginning this week full of gratitude for a beautiful soul named Martha Harris.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Never judge someone by the way he looks or a book by the way it’s covered. For inside those tattered pages, there’s a lot to be discovered.” (Stephen Cosgrove)

Quote #2

“Do not judge me by my hair color, my skin color, my body size, my outer beauty, or by my sexuality, because if you do, you might miss who I really am.” (Unknown)

Quote #3

“Never be fooled by what you see on the outside, because on the inside is often a totally different story and one you may just relate to more than you know…” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“Rocketman”, An Elton John Biopic That Totally Changed My Tune About The Man And His Music

I really have never been much into Elton John’s music, even though he is a great singer and song artist, as his style and genre just hasn’t ever been my cup of tea so to speak. But that being said, it’s funny how a movie can change all that and create a profound appreciation for someone that was never there before. After catching an early release of “Rocketman”, a biopic about Elton John’s life, starring Taron Egerton as the famed musician, I suddenly find myself seeing him and his music in a totally different light.

For years, I overlooked this man who screamed flamboyancy and the words “pay attention to me” in any appearance I ever saw him in. On some level for me, it was always a turn off and probably a big reason why I avoided listening to his music more than not. Yet, after watching “Rocketman”, I now understand a lot more about why he became such a showy person. And truth be told, by the end of the movie, I saw myself in his very shoes.

Having grown up in a household where he was neglected, unloved, and unappreciated by both his mother and father, and spending years of his life deep in the closet, Elton John created a stage persona that was essentially a chameleon-like response solely in an attempt to erase that painfulness of his childhood. Sadly, I know all too well about becoming a chameleon, as I did it myself between the ages of 17 to 37. Nevertheless, no matter how deep Elton John tried to hide himself behind his own fabricated stripes, a dedicated friend and songwriter, Bernie Taupin, played so incredibly well by Jamie Bell, consistently stuck by his side, even when the talented singer was at his worst. Taupin reminded me much of my best friend Cedric who too remained by my side through thick and thin through all my addiction-fueled years.

And speaking of addiction-fueled years, besides being something I saw I had in common with Elton John, “Rocketman” did an amazing job portraying the sad plight of a fallen addict. You see, the more Elton John tried to suppress his pain and his past behind his extravagant stage persona and chameleon-like stripes, the harder his partying became and the greater his blackouts grew, until he finally realized one day he couldn’t run from it anymore. Deep down, like so many other addicts eventually discover, he saw he couldn’t run from the pain anymore and understood he was going to die from it until he faced it head on.

Thankfully, Elton John did just that and found sobriety in his own life, having over 28 years of sobriety now from alcohol and drugs, which in of itself is an incredible achievement I never knew about him. Maybe that’s exactly why my tune has now changed of a man who I once constantly shrugged my shoulders towards each time I saw him sport louder and louder outfits and extreme showiness.

While I wouldn’t put “Rocketman” and recent Freddie Mercury Biopic “Bohemiam Rhapsody” in the same league, I can definitely see the similarities between both, in the films themselves, as well as in each of their lives too. Both Mercury and John struggled to like themselves and heal from painful pasts, using plenty of alcohol and drugs along the way to numb the pain until the pain became great enough. I can so relate to spending years trying to run from pain, all while placing an image out there for others to see that they would like, even though deep down I didn’t like myself at all.

I’m still learning to like myself and heal from my own crazy past, which is why I’m grateful I spent the time watching a movie about someone’s music and life that I never used to appreciate at all. Ultimately, “Rocketman” totally changed my tune of Elton John and his music to one where I admire the man quite deeply now. For someone who faced his biggest hindrance, himself, and fought his way back from darkness to find his own inner light, Elton John is a beautiful soul and “Rocketman” was well worth my time seeing and one I highly recommend…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson