Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. ‘I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life,’ he told the audience. ‘She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice.’ At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up, looking a little embarrassed, and said, ‘Sorry, but it’s really hard to read my mother’s handwriting.’

Silly Joke #2

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.” A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, you wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden.” The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce.”

Silly Joke #3

Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. “My dog ate it,” was his solemn response. “Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?” “It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear,” insisted Johnny. “I had to force him, but he ate it!

Bonus Silly Joke

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.” The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!” The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood.” She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Just A Couple Of Affirmations To Help Combat Any Self-Deprecating Thoughts And Fears…

There is one area I’m relatively weak in when it comes to all the suffering I continue to go through in life and that’s not letting my mind overwhelm me with self-deprecating thoughts. Sadly, it’s quite easy to do, especially on those days when I’m really hurting and the world feels totally upside down. Self-deprecation usually begins with me living in fear and worry and the more I engage in it, the more I seem to lose sight of my faith in God. Thankfully, I’ve found the power of affirmations can help to combat this.

I absolutely believe that doing daily affirmations holds much power in helping a person to heal, positively change, and spiritually grow in life. While I have my regular set of affirmations that I do each day in one sitting and have been for quite some time, there have been a few others I’ve begun to use throughout my day just to keep me going when I start getting overly critical of myself with where I’m at in life.

I found the first of these affirmations in one of my daily devotional readings and it really stuck with me because of its ability to be used when experiencing any type of suffering. It goes as follows:

“Even if (state the condition of the suffering), I still believe.”

Pretty simple right? So now, when I find myself getting excessively critical about any one of my health issues that’s arisen and causing me fear, I just insert it in and continue to say it until I feel better.

The other affirmation I’d like to share was discovered a few weeks ago at the spiritual center I’ve been attending on Sunday mornings. There was a very charismatic sermon that took place that day, which really touched my heart and one thing I took away from it was something that was repeated a number of times throughout. It went as follows:

“This isn’t my story, I’m moving on to Higher Ground!”

 I have found this affirmation to feel extremely powerful any time I say it. It seems to help shift my thinking rather rapidly from any state of self-deprecation and fear to one of faith.

Ultimately, it’s my faith that has kept me going thus far through such an incredible amount of suffering, so if a couple of affirmations can help keep me on the path of faith and combat any self-deprecating thoughts and fears, I’m all for it. And I pray you may find some benefit in utilizing them on your spiritual journey as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson