Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Just because something is addictive doesn’t mean that you will get addicted to it. But . . . if your stomach ties up in knots while you count the seconds waiting for a phone call from that special someone . . . if you hear a loud buzzing in your ears when you see a certain person’s car (or one just like it) . . . if your eyes burn when you hear a random love song or see a couple holding hands . . . if you suffer the twin agonies of craving for and withdrawing from a series of unrequited crushes or toxic relationships . . . if you always feel like you’re clutching at someone’s ankle and dragged across the floor as they try to leave the room . . . welcome to the club.” (Ethlie Ann Vare)

Quote #2

“With addiction to drugs, the user just wants more. Video games and porn, though, are an arousal addiction; the user wants different. And that’s a problem…mens’ brains are being constantly rewired for change, novelty, excitement, and constant arousal, which means they are totally out of sync in romantic relationships.” (Philip Zimbardo, TED Talks)

Quote #3

“Love addicts often pick partners who are emotionally unavailable because deep down, they don’t feel worthy of having a healthy, loving relationship. A love addict craves and obsesses about becoming enmeshed or ‘one’ with another human being at all costs, even if it means putting themselves in potential danger.” (Christopher Dines)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Addiction That Still Seems To Make Everyone Uncomfortable Talking About…

I’m a pretty open and forthcoming person about all my former addiction-laden life, both in my writing and with any public speaking opportunity. While I’ve found it to be quite freeing being that way, I’ve noticed there is one of my past addictions that still seems to make everyone uncomfortable anytime I talk about it. That being a sex and love addiction.

Like alcohol addiction, drug addiction, gambling addiction, overeating addiction, and plenty of other addictions, each were once often misunderstood by the general population. Take alcohol addiction for example. The general assumption long ago was that an alcoholic was someone who was homeless and always had a paper bag-enclosed bottle of some type of alcohol in hand. It was also thought more than not back then that a little more self-control was needed to curb the behavior of someone who drank too much. Nevertheless, it was something not talked about much early on and tended to make people uncomfortable when brought up. The same has been true of any other addiction that emerged into the populace over ensuing years. Yet, as more people have come forward and talked about their own battles with varying addictions, the more each addiction has become understood in society and led to greater acceptance.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case as of yet with sex and love addiction. Currently, the picture still being painted of a sex and love addict in most places in this world is of someone who is either a pedophile or a pervert in general that likes to do things such as exposing themselves in public, especially to children. Sadly, both are quite far from the real picture of the majority of sex and love addicts.

In my case, my former sex addiction consistently related to viewing pornography and engaging in cyber/phone sex acts, all of which were always connected to people my age or older, and usually far older than I at that. As for my former love addiction, which was far worse, I had the tendency to chase after various unobtainable individuals who I’d become infatuated with, always claiming they were my soul mate and then sacrificing my entire life to being around them. And no matter how much I ever tried to self-control either of my sex or love addiction behaviors, I could never seem to escape them.

Thankfully, there were those who came before me that had enough wherewithal to start to talk about this addiction and create programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), and Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). If it wasn’t for them, I’d probably have accepted much of the harsh labels and judgements still being placed on those who suffer from this addiction.

So, here are a few facts with sex and love addiction. Like all other addictions, sex and love addicts can’t miraculously find enough self-control to curb it. Sex addicts are not just pedophiles, perverts, or people who haven’t exerted enough self-control to deal with their sexual appetites. And love addicts are not just codependent individuals who have no sense of self-esteem. Rather, there are deeply-ingrained issues within each person who suffers from this addiction that have led to the addiction in the first place.

My sex addiction began as a way to deal with my feeling inadequate in this world, something that started way back in my childhood. My love addiction began in a similar way, because I never grew any sense of identity growing up and instead my life was always about pleasing my parents and then everyone else in turn.

The bottom line here is that sex and love addiction doesn’t need to make anyone uncomfortable. Most of the other prominent addictions don’t make people uncomfortable anymore because so many have come forward and talked about them publicly making each more understood. The same can be true for sex and love addiction. It’s just going to take more people coming forward and braving the masses to tell their story like I continue to do…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt. This must be a sign from God!” Pointing to the sky, he continues, “God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth.” The priest replies, “I agree with you completely. This must surely be a sign from God!” The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, “And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine did not break. Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.” The priest nods in agreement. The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest. The priest, baffled, asks, “Aren’t you having any, Rabbi?” The rabbi replies, “Nah… I think I’ll wait for the police.”

Silly Joke #2

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are all these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop.”I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.” “Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it!” The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m sure glad I quit drinking! Look at the test they’re giving now!”

Silly Joke #3

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in a skimpy outfit and a pair of Nike running shoes with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, ‘If you can catch me, you can have me.’ Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20-pound program. The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing an even skimpier outfit, Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, ‘If you catch me you can have me’. Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So, for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50-pound program. ‘Are you sure?’ asks the representative on the phone… ‘This is our most rigorous program.’ ‘Absolutely,’ he replies, ‘I haven’t felt this good in years.’ The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing the tightest, smaller shorts he had ever seen, brightly colored running shoes, and a sign around his neck that reads, ‘If I catch you, you’re all mine.’ Wouldn’t you know he lost 63 pounds that week!

Bonus Silly Joke

A guy enters a bar and orders two shots of vodka. He drinks the first and dumps the second on his right hand.He then orders a second round of shots, drinks the first and again dumps the second on his right hand. The bartender sees this and becomes curious as the guy orders a third round and does the exact same thing. So the bartender asks the guy, “Hey man, I hope you don’t mind me asking but why the waste of good drinks?” So the man says, “I have to get my date drunk…”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson