Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another chapter of Grateful Heart Monday where I start my week off with one piece of gratitude, which for today is for my best friend Cedric from Massachusetts.

Many years ago, in the fall of 1997 actually, I met Cedric in the rooms of recovery. I wasn’t very serious about my recovery then even though he was, yet he always saw the best in me anyway and I so admired that part of him, as much as I admired many other parts of his unique personality as well.

You see, Cedric is one of those rare people in the world who just lights up any room he enters. He radiates joy more than not and has a deep booming laughter that will make you want to laugh right along with him too. He is one of the most spiritual, Christ-loving individuals I’ve ever met as well, which are just some of the many reasons why I was so drawn to get to know him in the first place so long ago now.

But even more important and probably the thing that makes me the most grateful for Cedric is that he’s never given up on me, even when I’ve given up on myself time and time again. He stuck around and remained my friend, even when I acted extremely selfish and self-centered for great lengths of time. While some would say that Cedric was crazy for sticking by my side through all he endured, but really that’s just Cedric, someone you can always count on and someone who never gives up on anyone.

Our friendship has definitely gone through a series of iterations over the years, but it’s always survived each of our ups and downs because Cedric is one of those people who practices unconditional love and forgiveness and does his very best to always see his part in any division.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for Cedric, I’d never have found my way into recovery whatsoever, as it was he who took my call when I finally had enough of living the dry drunk life back in September of 2007. It was during that call he invited me to attend his home group in West Bridgewater, Massachusetts, which became the catalyst to changing the rest of my life from one of just surviving and staying sober to one of living an actual life of recovery.

In recent years, my list of things to grateful for with Cedric continues to grow because he’s shown how loyal of a friend he is, even with my health being as bad as it’s been. While many who maintain they’re my friend have distanced themselves from me, Cedric hasn’t and instead, has reminded me time and time again that even if he was just sitting in the same room as me, that it would be enough and would still mean the world to him. Which for me is the surest sign of a true friend that I can think of, someone who never abandons you, even when the going gets rough and stays rough for an extremely long period.

I absolutely love my weekly conversations with Cedric when we connect over the phone, because he’s someone who knows how to tap into the Spirit and uplift me no matter how bad my day might be. We usually talk a few times a week and there have been plenty of those conversations where I’ve been more down than not. Yet that never seems to dissuade Cedric whatsoever, from continuing to draw closer, and I think much of that is due to the level of faith he has in God.

Sometimes I feel like it’s his faith alone that helps to keep me going, especially on those days and weeks when my health issues are relentless. And when they are, something I cherish about Cedric is how he’s always opened to praying with you no matter where you are and in any given moment. His prayers are not only deeply caring and connecting but tend to consistently feel like they’re specifically tailored for you from his heart.

That’s why I’ve always felt like Cedric would make a great pastor and I hope someday that may actually come true, because I fully believe that his good nature, his unconditional love for all human beings, and his desire to serve God wholeheartedly, will make for an incredible foundation for a church to grow from.

The bottom line is that after 20 years of friendship, I am still finding more and more ways to be appreciate Cedric. He is an amazing son of God and someone I owe much of my life to. So, thank you Cedric, for just being you, as you have led me and I’m sure plenty of others to have bountiful amounts of gratitude when they think of you…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“What do Godwinks mean? Think about when you were a kid and some you loved gave you a little wink across the dining room table…Mom or Dad or Grandma. You didn’t say, “What do you mean by that?” You knew. It meant… ‘Hey kid, I’m thinking about your right now.’ That’s what a Godwink is too: a message of reassurance from above, directly to you, out of seven billion people on the planet, saying…’Hey kid…I’m thinking of you! Keep the faith! You’re never alone.’” (Squire Rushnell)

Quote #2

“Coincidences are in fact your soul’s way of summoning up something it needs from the Universe.” (Sheila Burke)

Quote #3

“The moment God is figured out with nice neat lines and definitions, we are no longer dealing with God.” (Rob Bell)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Timely God Wink…

I’ve spoken before about how I believe that God winks at us from time to time with special blessings that tend to come when we most need them and usually aren’t easily explained when they happen either, which is precisely what occurred for me a few weeks ago with something related to my vehicle.

I drive a 2007 Toyota Camry Hybrid that I bought brand new back in December of 2006 straight off a small Toyota dealership that for the most part was in the middle of nowhere. It has been with me through three states of living including Virginia, Massachusetts, and now Ohio. It’s also been good to me, as much as I’ve been good to it, even in light of it enduring a number of minor accidents over the years where all but one was out of my control. I’ve always kept up with my maintenance and vowed I would hold onto this car for as long as it was still drivable because I’ve come to appreciate holding on to things that still function for their intended purpose, rather than always having to buy something new and junk the old.

My Hybrid has 230,000 miles on it now and up until just recently, I really have never had any serious maintenance issues throughout its entire life, other than the things that have arisen from normal wear and tear. Much of that of course is due to the special care I have always given it and so when I walked out of my house one day to head to a meeting and noticed a small black spot on my driveway, I made the assumption it was probably coming from my partner’s car and not my own and quickly forgot about it.

When I awoke the next morning though and noticed another darkened spot below where I had parked the previous night, my stomach churned uncomfortably. I immediately attempted to identify what the dark substance was and where it was coming from, but wasn’t able to, so I abruptly changed my plans for the day and drove it over to AAA where I asked them to inspect it. They identified the leak was transmission fluid but said they couldn’t look into it any further that day due to a lack of mechanics on site. That’s when I decided to head to another local repair chain called Tireman where there I sat waiting in fear of how bad this issue might be. A few hours later, I was informed the leak was coming from something called a CV seal and that replacing it would cost me around $200. I breathed a sigh of relief and waited patiently for the fix to be completed, yet I’d soon learn the repair didn’t resolve the issue. Over the course of the next few days, Tireman would attempt to use several other replacement seals and change out another part as well, all to no avail. I was told I was going to have to take it to a transmission shop, but that it would have to wait on them getting another seal, as the others were now unusable.

So, while my car sat at Tireman for a few more days waiting on that part to be delivered, I discovered from Toyota the transmission on my Hybrid was designed in such a way that it couldn’t be rebuilt and my only option was to buy a used one or a new one, which would range between $2500 and $5000. Upon learning that, I began to cry profusely.

I know that some of you may be thinking right now while you read this, that this doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but, maybe if you were enduring chronic pain day after day, unable to hold a job and relying on others to help you get by and experiencing one setback after another on a regular basis, facing something like this would be a big deal. The fact is, life hasn’t been easy on any level for me for a good long while and this car issue simply threw me over the edge.

That’s why I resorted to the only solution I saw as the tears were flowing from my eyes, which was to pray to God for help. I know many might think that God doesn’t care about things like this, things that are easily labeled as trivial, but it says in the Bible itself that God knows and cares about the very number of hairs on our head. Thus, if indeed God knows and cares about something that insignificant, then why wouldn’t God care about something like my car repair woes as well?

So, I prayed.

I prayed for God to fix my vehicle’s leak, but that if that wasn’t God’s will and that if God had another solution, I’d accept it.

Forty-eight hours later, I received a call from Tireman, expecting them to tell me my vehicle was finally back together, but still leaking and ready for me to come pick it up and take it to a place that works on transmissions. Except, that wasn’t what they told me…

“Your transmission is no longer leaking Mr. Dawson…”

 I couldn’t believe my ears and asked them to repeat that again.

“Mr. Dawson, after we put your car back together, the transmission was no longer leaking. And honestly, none of us here have any idea why?”

It wasn’t too longer after, that I was able to confirm this with my very own eyes and even then, because of my utter disbelief that something actually went my way for once in life, I took it to a Toyota dealership to have them run a full diagnostic. And there, they’d find nothing wrong with my vehicle either, other than seeing the usual wear and tear.

So, I leave this with you to decide. Was this one of those God winks where God simply wanted me to know in a very direct and unique way that God had heard my prayers? I think that’s ultimately left for each of us to decide, but with a car that’s working again, leak free, and no explanation why, I’m choosing to believe that God indeed did wink at me and provide a miracle when I most needed one. Thank you, God.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson