As much as the world has moved forward quite a bit with acceptance of gay people in the past two decades, I still find myself “playing it straight” at times out of fear, which is unfortunate, as I believe the only way to reach a milestone where nobody cares anymore whether a person is straight or gay is to walk through that fear and just be myself.
So what do I mean by “playing it straight?
Well the most common is when a person asks me if I have a girlfriend and for some reason I seem to be asked this a lot these days. Sometimes I’ve answered it truthfully and said I actually have a partner and then admitted I was gay. But more than not, I’ve either lied responding with a firm “no”, or even worse, I’ve said yes and when asked “her” name, I say “Chris”, even through Chris is a guy and not a girl.
Along the same lines are those times I’ve been around a guy or group of guys who are checking out a woman they find hot. That’s when my playing it straight card has occasionally come out and I’ve made a comment about the rack or butt on the woman they are all gawking at.
Another good example of when I’m playing it straight is when I’m out and about with my partner. If we’re at dinner or at the movies and people are sitting directly next to us, I’ve had a tendency to not show any affection or signs that Chris was even my partner.
Then there’s the example of playing it straight when it comes to sports. I like sports, but I’m not a fanatic nor I don’t follow any team or watch any type of games with any regularity. But put me in a room with a bunch of high testosterone-filled guys whom are all talking about the latest football or baseball or hockey game and I’m right there in the center of conversation pretending I know what I’m talking about.
Last but not least, one more example of me playing it straight has been in my words and mannerisms. At times I’ve purposely made sure to cross my legs like most males do, or I’ve walked with a greater strut, or I’ve worn a ball cap like I’m a badass, or I’ve used various slang that made me appear hyper macho.
But honestly, none of these examples of when I’m playing it straight are going to help lead this world to fully accepting a gay person as nothing out of the ordinary, as long as I keep doing them. The fact is I do need to be myself a little more and not worry what other people think of me, even if they don’t accept homosexuality.
So my conclusion is that it’s not healthy for me to continue playing it straight, even in the slightest. Because as long as I do, and as long as I keep letting this fear overwhelm me, I’m never going to be able to make any impact on the world coming to full acceptance of my sexuality. If our planet is ever going to see the day where no one really cares whether a person is gay or straight, it needs to begin with everyone just being themselves and saying goodbye to all those fear-based moments of when we find ourselves still playing it straight…
Peace, love, light and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
