Lately I’ve seen a few advertisements in print and on television about people claiming cures for alcoholism and other addictions. While I can’t speak for those claims because I don’t know what is being offered, I can speak to the amount of “cures” I have tried before I found only one that worked.
My alcoholism and drug use began in February of 1990 and ended in June of 1995. During those years I never thought I had a problem. When my life began to get out of control and was becoming more and more unmanageable everyday, I began to suspect maybe I did. Although a tremendous amount of pain and a spiritual experience brought me into sobriety from alcohol and drugs, the desire remained for years to stay “drunk” or “high” on something else.
Throughout the years that followed, I discovered one addiction after another that were substitutes or replacements for the alcohol and drugs that I was no longer consuming. I regularly became stimulated just like I did when I was drinking or using by going on countless sexual escapades, gambling binges, shopping sprees, or geographical migrations. Today I look back at these substitutes as the progression of my addictive based personality. Even though I hadn’t touched a drink or a drug since that June of 1995, I was still that same alcoholic and drug addict who sought to maintain a life of highs and avoidances of lows.
One moment I would be extremely happy when I acquired that buzz from something I was doing, and the next moment I was becoming severely depressed because that feeling was wearing off. For awhile, I even tried other things such as chasing religion and going to church. I became a Deacon and studied the Bible. I discovered meditation and delved deep into it by going on silent retreats and spending countless hours at home engaging in it. But in all of those attempts to do something healthier, I continued to act out on the side with other addictions.
A year ago, after 17 years of being sober and clean from all alcohol and drugs, I found a solution that I can say today, is a cure for all addictions. This cure was always there and I had even sampled it at times. But what I had never realized was that this cure wasn’t as simple as taking a one time shot at the doctor’s office and then becoming completely free of a disease. This cure was a shot I had to take daily for the rest of my life.
Through this cure, I found a greater purpose to live my life. One that moved way beyond my daily struggles and one that floated higher than I ever had. I had tasted this cure through my religious church going days. I had sampled it when I meditated for long hours. And I had even lived it when I practiced the 12 Steps. During all of them, I had spiritual experiences and spiritual awakenings with a Higher Power who today I choose to call God. The more I placed myself in one of those paths, the closer I got to God. And the closer I got to God, the more I wanted to give back and help others in the world that were still suffering. And the more I gave back and helped others who were still suffering, the less I lived in any addiction. Unfortunately, in each of those cases, I always fell apart because I began pursuing the path I was on with only half-measures. In other words, I always stopped dedicating myself 100% to that path and the result was a domino effect back into some type of an addiction.
So is there really a cure then???!!!
Yes, there is a cure! It takes work though. It can come through going to church for some. It can come through meditation and prayer for others. And it can come for those who follow the 12 Steps too. These are just three ways that I have found that cure. I’m sure there are many more. But the key to this cure is in practicing one or a combination of them daily. Today I do that. Because of this, I am not chasing those highs and lows anymore. I am not desiring to engage in any addictions throughout even the slightest bit of one of my days. And I am free of that poison for now because I am giving 100% of myself to God to keep that cure within me. I know if I stop any percentage of what I’m currently doing, I will eventually self destruct again by falling back into any number of my former addictions. And if I fall back into even one of those addictions, those shots I have been administering myself regularly to keep this cure, will cease to work.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
