It pains me every time I come home now and see my roommate’s dog just sitting there by the front door waiting for her master. And sadly, I’m not it but lately I wish I were because sometimes, I wonder if her owner even knows just how sad and lonely she has become.
My roommate’s dog is a 13 year old chocolate Labrador that spends most of her days now walking around the house, pacing, and laying in different rooms with her head on her paws sporting very sad eyes. No matter how many amounts of affection or treats I give her, she seems to want the attention from only one person….him. And she waits for it but quite often it never comes or if it does, it’s for a very limited amount of time.
When I moved in here, things were different. I watched my roommate spend a lot more time with his dog. He had her lay next to him a lot when he was watching television. He took her out and about to parks and beaches for walks. He played with her in the house and out in the backyard. And she was happy. Very happy. She was filled with a lot of life and zest. When friends came over to visit, she was always excited and jumping up and down. Where my roommate went in the house, she would follow. Up the stairs, down the stairs, in one room, then out into another.
Over the past five months though, my roommate has changed quite a bit towards the direction of being more focused on his own needs than anyone else’s. He might say otherwise if you were to ask him so, but I have seen so many more examples of it. I chalk that up to the fact that many of those things he’s doing are ways I once lived my life daily. If he’s not working, he’s out with someone on a date. And if he’s not out with someone on a date, he’s out looking for one at social meet-up groups. And if he’s not out at social meet-up groups, he’s on the web or on the phone at home doing much of the same searching. Add in other projects he’s added to his life that deal with his home care and the result is less and less time being spent with his dog. And with all these changes, so too has his dog changed, but not for the better either.
Dogs bond very deeply with their masters. She’s been with him since a very young age and while he might have once spent a ton of time with her doing lots of fun things to give her great memories, he rarely does anymore. I see the excitement in her eyes when he comes home and the dejection soon after when he leaves for something else after walking her. I feel her depression when she goes and lays in his room by herself ears perking up each time she thinks a car is pulling in the driveway. What’s even more sad is the fact that she is in such a state of depression over his lack of attention, that she does what a human being might when they’re depressed. She completely isolates from anyone else. I’ll have her come into my room as I watch a show, and she’ll leave soon after and go lay in another room by herself. I play with her and give her a treat, and as soon as I’m done, she looks around for him, and then goes into another room and places her head between her paws and lets out a deep sigh. And now when I have guests stop over, sometimes she doesn’t even get up and greet them anymore.
None of what I’m saying is an exaggeration either. I wish it was. But it’s not. I’ve tried to communicate some of these observations to my roommate too. What I’ve received in return from him is the same statement over and over again that I’m not her owner and I haven’t been the one to raise her. In other words, I’m told in so many few words, to mind my business. About four weeks ago though, he was observant of the fact that she developed some mysterious neck pains which kept her out of commission for a few days. Because of it, my roommate cancelled everything and spent those days doing a lot more of giving her the attention she was needing and wanting. I definitely noticed a lot of her old cheerful patterns return during that time but when the pain went away not too long after, he went back to doing what he was doing before, which was spending time with everyone but her. Was the pain simply her spirit manifesting something on a physical level to get his attention? It’s a question I’ve been pondering lately.
What I do know is that a dog is no different then having a child who depends on you. They deserve love. They deserve attention. They deserve to be played with. They deserve to be caressed. They deserve rewards and treats. And they deserve all of this from the one they bonded with and learned to love the most…their parent. My roommate hasn’t been seeing any of this going on because he is becoming so very wrapped up in his own world. So I did the only thing I knew I could the other night, I bowed my head and prayed over her. Partially because I felt helpless in feeling her sadness, and partially because I had tears in my eyes when I saw her laying upstairs alone in the office while he was downstairs watching TV. During those moments, I asked God to bless her with a lot of happiness and someone to play with all the time in Heaven when it’s her time to head there. Until then I told God I’ll continue to do my best to show her the love I know she deserves. I may not be the one she wants it from, but I hope somehow it will still help her in the loneliness she feels. I also hope it prevents her from dying from a broken heart, which I believe can happen to animals too. But what I really just hope for is that her owner will realize before it’s too late, that he has always had the best friend and loyal companion someone could ever have wanted in this lifetime or any lifetime.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson