One of the hardest things a person faces when they first find recovery from their addiction is picking up the telephone for help and support. It usually stems from the fact that most of them avoided using it and rarely sought help and support when they were active in their addiction. Because of this, many of those who find recovery often end up referring to the telephone as “The 900 Pound Weight”.
When a person is in the active throngs of an addiction, the last thing they generally want to do is talk on the telephone. After all, doing that action is taking away from the time they can engage in their addiction. Of course, if the person’s addiction is something they can get over the phone, such as phone sex, then this won’t apply. But in most cases, when someone such as addict or alcoholic is high or drunk, talking on the phone generally represents an anti-high or a buzz-kill for him or her. That’s only because most of those who end up calling them are concerned loved ones, debt collectors, or employers, all of which are most likely not in favor of the person being active in their addiction.
By the time a person lands in a recovery meeting for their addiction, telephone avoidance has usually become a common ritual in their lives. Day to day, it became a regular occurrence for most of them to run from the calls from creditors they owed money to, the frustrated friends reaching out who wanted them to stop their addiction, and the angry bosses that called when they didn’t show up for work. This presents a problem though when one of the foundations in all of the 12-Step recovery programs is to make use of telephone therapy.
Telephone therapy is simply when a person in recovery picks up the phone and calls another in recovery for the sole purpose of getting their help and support. Throughout one’s recovery from an addiction, especially early on, there are going to be many moments where life throws some curve balls at them. To try handling them on one’s own frequently has the tendency to lead a person right back to their addiction. But one of the things that has helped so many in recovery stay clean and sober when those curve balls happen is to pick up the phone and call another for help. That is why it is stressed so greatly in most 12-Step programs to make use of the telephone.
Currently, I’m sponsoring three people who are recovering from various addictions. One of the requirements I have on anyone I sponsor is that they contact me each and every day for a check-in call. When I found recovery from my own alcohol and drug addictions, my first sponsor told me to do the same. I initially balked at having to do it, but soon realized it was critical on getting out of selfishness and self-centeredness. For years, my own ego had me avoiding phone calls from family members and other loved ones because I was so caught up in my own selfish drives to stay in my addictions. But calling my sponsor every single day broke that pattern and helped me to get used to the idea that the telephone was a great tool to aid in my recovery. There have been countless times since then when I had tremendously bad days where I felt comfortable picking up the phone and calling someone else to help me through it. I know that my first sponsor’s action of calling her every day was the catalyst for this. Thus I now practice the same action with all of my sponsees as well.
For those who truly want to find recovery from an addiction, utilizing the telephone is extremely important, especially early on. Not only does using it squash the ego’s former addiction patterns, it also sets the stage for when those days arrive when a person might really need to call someone else to stay sane and sober.
Thankfully I see this now and the telephone no longer feels like that 900-pound weight to me anymore. I’ve learned how invaluable it is to my own recovery and I regularly use it each and every day to enhance my own spiritual growth. While I do seek God first in all of my recovery-based life now, I’m grateful I’ve learned as well just how invaluable a tool the telephone really is to keeping me sober from all addictions.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
One of the prime reasons why this works is that you are forced to make a connection.Open a line of communication a almost behavior change from your usual addictive almost solitary life.