There once was a time when I didn’t understand what recovery from addictions was all about. In fact, what I thought about for most of my earlier sober years was everything but what I know to be recovery today. By the time I discovered the healing power of 12-Step recovery for all of my former addictions, there were many behaviors and attitudes that were severely ingrained within me. One of those was the idea that I could take a break from my recovery work when I went on vacation. Thankfully, I’ve learned in the last few years how far that is from the truth.
Being on vacation for a person in recovery is slightly different than for an average individual who doesn’t suffer from addiction-prone behavior. For them, a vacation is where they do their best to take a reprieve from life for a short while. During this time they will try to tune out the world by shutting off their phones and avoiding reading their e-mails. They might go so far as tuning out the news and other media as well. For the longest time, I did both of those, except I took it a step further. I also avoided going to any 12-Step meetings and I stopped talking to my sponsor or any of my sponsees as well during this time. Essentially, I made the decision that I was also going to take a vacation from my recovery. Ultimately, what I found in doing so is that it led me on a direct path back into selfishness, self-centeredness, and eventually my addictions.
You see, a person in recovery goes to meetings and talks to sponsors and works with sponsees on a daily basis to keep their disease of addiction at bay. Too many, like I once did, often fall into the illusion that once they discover recovery, that their disease is licked. But the more they drop away from what works, the more they see their character defects and addiction-like behavior return. And the longer they stay away from doing their recovery, the more they get closer to a relapse back into any one of those addictions they once suffered from.
For most of the vacations I took up until just a few years ago, I didn’t understand this principle. I went on each of them for several weeks and avoided doing those simple things I learned in recovery were critical for me to stay healthy on a daily basis. By the end of those vacations, I always found myself being more rude, negative, disrespectful, condescending, and miserable. In addiction, I would usually relapse into many of my smaller addictions such as caffeine or shopping to make myself feel better. Except it never did.
Today, I do things very differently when I’m on vacation. In fact, over the few weeks I got away this month, I kept in regular contact with all of my sponsees each and every day. In addition, I went to an AA meeting eight out of the fourteen days I was away. And lastly, I reached out to my sponsor and had several long conversations with her on quite a number of those days. What this translated into was exactly what I’ve learned through my recovery work. I was able to keep all of my addictions at bay, I was able to stay in relatively positive spirits, and I returned home when it was done with a determined spirit to keep my recovery work going. That’s a far cry to how it used to be when I struggled to get back into my recovery work or even get to a single meeting after taking a break from all of it for several weeks.
You see, I’m not like a regular person in this world who might be able to go on vacation and just pamper themselves the entire time. I’ve learned now that I must be vigilant in my recovery, even during those times when I go away on any break. In doing so, it keeps my focus on staying clean and sober and even more importantly, I find it helps me to continue serving my Higher Power and live in my greatest highest good.
So if you happen to be someone who is a recovering addict of any kind, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and make sure you at least get yourself to a few meetings the next time you find yourself on a vacation. Don’t cut yourself off from any of what has been working for you and you might just find that your recovery becomes even stronger by the time you return home.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson