My ego can justify just about anything when it really wants to, which is dangerous especially when it leads to addictive behaviors. But a sponsor in recovery once told me something to combat any of those illusions my ego often tries to create and it came in the form of three words, “Examine your motives!”
Examining my motives is definitely something I didn’t do when I was acting out in any of my former addictions. Take my past addiction to alcohol for example. One of the things my ego would frequently tell me was to drive a certain way home because it would be more convenient. But it wasn’t the convenience of less time in my car that it was referring to, even though at a surface level I would believe that. The real convenience was that I would actually pass by a package store on that route home that sold my favorite beer.
The same principle holds true with my past sex and love addiction. My ego has occasionally tried to tell me to attend a new meeting I’ve never been to before. On the surface level that seems harmless now doesn’t it? But truthfully, the real reason it wants me to go there was only to see a person who attends it that just so happens to be someone I’m seriously attracted to.
In either of these cases, using the three words, “Examine your motives!” has helped me to re-evaluate any of those quick impulses my ego ever tries to send my way. So when it tries whispering to me to hang out with someone in recovery because they have good things to say when they speak, I only have to apply these three simple words to realize my real motive is a serious attraction I have to that person.
I apply this three word motto today to as many different things as I can including the friends I hang out with, the meetings I go to, the sponsees I take on, the events I attend, or the places I might stop by. Numerous times I discover my ego’s hidden agenda by just slowing down enough to say this phrase, “Examine your motives!” a few times. The fact is my ego is quite crafty and has time and time and time again led me into one addictive behavior after another because I didn’t do that. Taking even the slightest moment though to say this phrase has often been enough to prevent me from going down that slippery slope.
So the next time you find yourself about to make a quick decision to do something, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and say to yourself a few times, “Examine your motives!” It may be exactly what’s needed for your Higher Power to show you the craftiness your ego is trying to create in that particular situation. It has at least for me, and hopefully it will for you as well…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
I have heard that as somewhere between a “commandment” and a “demandment” from a number of people over the years. Instincts in collision often balk at investigation! But my life has always gone better when I have done this. The unexamined life usually allows my inner auto-drama-generator to be set to “maximum.”
I swear I hear my sponsor just now in your words. Which is okay, I need to hear them often. Spiritual Axiom
Too funny. That’s a good thing right? 🙂