My heart became extremely heavy the other day after spending a short period of time with my partner’s family members. For the entire hour I was with them, not one person struck up a single conversation with me nor did the majority even say hello to me when I arrived. Sadly, things really haven’t been the same with any of them for around a year now since a disagreement transpired over a family heirloom (a ring) that my partner gave me. While the two of us have done everything we can to mend this rift, it’s clearly visible that most of them still don’t want to. Thankfully though, I never got resentful with any of them the entire time I was there that day or even after leaving and I believe that’s due to only one reason. I continue to recite three simple words in situations like this when I’m feeling hurt and they are “love, forgiveness, and peace”.
About a year ago I wrote an entry on this very subject, which you can find by clicking here. In it I talk about how I used to be a very resentful person, especially when things didn’t go my ego’s way. In fact, how my partner’s family has been treating me is a prime example of something that used to drive me to complete anger and maybe even rage not all that long ago. But my spiritual teacher taught me the power of saying the words “love, forgiveness, and peace” anytime I’m feeling hurt and it became quite evident to me the other day when all this happened that doing so definitely helped.
Looking beyond this healthy practice, I honestly wish I knew why my partner’s family has such issues with me. I’ve done everything I can to show them unconditional love and be a part of their extended family, but for whatever their reasons they’ve kept the door shut on it. I have my theories why that is, except saying them would only be pure speculation and judgment at this point in time. The reality I’ve come to is that it really doesn’t matter. What I believe does matter though is that I continue practicing unconditional love towards each of them, even when in the midst of not getting any of it in return. So far the only way I’ve been able to achieve that is to recite over and over again those three words, “love, forgiveness, and peace” anytime I get around any of my partner’s family.
Saying these words during each of the moments when I’m feeling rejected and hurt by them seems to help me become more compassionate with them. Somehow my pain gets transformed into unconditional love instead of anger and hate in doing so. While I’m sure my ego would like to understand why that is, I’m just grateful it does, as I never liked being that resentful person I once was when I didn’t utilize these three simple words regularly in my life.
So if you happen to be someone who is feeling hurt from one of your own situations right now in life, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and start reciting the words “love, forgiveness, and peace” towards it again and again. In doing so, I’m sure you too will find yourself becoming transformed from a person once filled with anger and resentment to that of unconditional love and light…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
Well, my friend, an old pal of ours in Lorain, OH once told me, “If it doesn’t bleed, the hell with it! If it doesn’t bleed, it can be fixed; it can be replaced; or it can be done without. People…critters….that’s what matters.” Clearly your partner’s relatives haven’t gotten that lesson yet! politics,
And yet, even as I wrote that, the voices of reason in the back of my head say, “How do YOU know what lessons they have or haven’t gotten, Steve?” All I know is how it is – or how it seems to you. The ring may have nothing to do with it; politics, religion, fears, past experiences may have a part, individually or in combinations. You do what you can – be nice when you can, keep your distance when you can’t – and leave the rest in your Higher Power’s hands. Our job is to be the very best “us” we can be – regardless how snarky others can be. Since you’re already doing that, this may just be the lesson the universe is teaching about how to let go of certain relationships.
And, just by reference, a blast out of my own past with a story that might amuse you.
It truly must be in my Higher Power’s hands because I’m sure if my own hands were in control of this situation, my ego’s way of handling it wouldn’t be living in the very best I could be… thanks for commenting!