While I may not like how the Bible continues to be used to condemn people in this day and age, there are still some words and passages from it that I try to live by. One of which that’s been resonating with me lately are the multiple occurrences of the phrase “honor your mother and father”. I think that’s because I spent years doing the exact opposite.
It’s no secret that my family was quite dysfunctional. In fact, I’ve written about it a number of times in here. My father had bi-polar manic depression and went untreated with his disease for years. He also was an alcoholic who never fully utilized the benefits of the 12 Steps and instead did his best to remain clean and sober on his own. My mother on the other hand suffered from depression as well, was overly codependent, and too battled alcoholism. It made for a very rough childhood for both my sister and myself.
I was very bitter about this once I left home and went off to college. When I became an active alcoholic and drug addict myself while there I took every opportunity to verbally trash the way my parents raised me. You might say that I used it to my advantage, often with the sole reason to seek pity and comfort from others. It also helped me to justify why I drank and drugged to excess every single time I did. Unfortunately, that behavior didn’t cease within me once I found sobriety from both. And what made matters worse were my father’s suicide and my mother’s tragic drunken fall down the stairs during my sober years. These incidents only became even more of a catalyst to harboring my anger and resentments towards them. I rarely had anything good to say about them and was usually on the opposite end of the spectrum in doing what those words said in the Bible.
Through the help of therapy, the ManKind Project, the 12 Steps, meditation, and prayer, I eventually was able to release all the ill will I had felt for so long towards my mother and father. And once it left me, I saw the both of them in a vastly different light. It really is interesting how much my anger and resentment towards them consistently blocked my ability to see the love they had for me, but thankfully, I can today. I’m able to honor my mother and father now with the respect they deserve, because if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be who I am today and I wouldn’t have learned as many of the spiritual lessons as I have.
But even more importantly are all the things I can see now they did for me that so many others I’ve met in life never had. So thank you Mom and Dad for always providing me with a roof over my head, with food on our table, and with clothes on my body. Thank you for the many vacations you took me on, the bountiful gifts you gave me on Christmas and birthdays, and for all the other holiday surprises I received. Thank you for all those movie nights we had, the hikes you took me on, and the many card games we played. Thank you for all those swims I had in our pool, the meals you took me out to, and the compliments you gave me in many of my life’s earliest achievements. Thank you for paying for all of my college education, for financially supporting me when I couldn’t, and for continuing to do so even now, long after you’ve been gone.
Lastly, and definitely most importantly, thank you for being the first ones to teach me about God. You see it’s because of that I’m able to honor you both now just like the Bible says to do, with the love and praise you deserve. I miss you Mom and Dad and I love you both immensely. Thank you for everything you did for me, I couldn’t have asked for better parents.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson