There are many people out there who continue to believe some form of self-will or self-control can contain and even eliminate an addiction. While there are plenty of others as well who continue to believe all that’s necessary to eliminate their addiction is to pray and ask it of their Higher Guidance. Unfortunately, most of those in either situation often stay spiritually sick and engaged in their addiction because the truth is, it usually takes a lot more work on their part to remain clean and sober and live a life of recovery.
One of the founders of AA, Bill Wilson, once addressed the aspect of self-will and self-control when it came to drinking by stating, “If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!” I can attest to Bill’s words because I tried for years to control my drinking by utilizing my self-will. Guess what? It never worked. Maybe I went for a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months limiting my consumption, changing what I consumed, or going without it at all, but inevitably, it always eventually came back to being a major disturbance in my life. The same thing held true when I tried to use self-will to control my viewings of porn. Maybe I went for a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months limiting how often I watched it, setting cut-off times for myself, or avoiding it altogether, but inevitably, it too always came back to becoming a major disruption to my life. And in all honesty, I tried this with drugs, cigarettes, caffeine, sex, and so many other things too. In the long run, it never worked with any of them either. Finding freedom from any of these things took a lot more work. It took me going to recovery meetings, doing the 12 Step work, talking to a sponsor, and reaching out to others who were still addicted, all on a regular basis. I’ve only been able to remain clean and sober and living a life of recovery from each, for as long as I have, because I practice each of these things daily now. But anytime I’ve drifted away from doing this work, I’ve consistently relapsed back into one or more former addictions.
As for prayer, it truly is a big part of my recovery as well, but prayer alone never saved me. I begged my Higher Guidance for years to remove each of my addictions, hoping and maybe even expecting some type of a magic wand to be waved over me, suddenly releasing me from their deadly grips. Guess what? It never happened. Eventually I came to understand another principle that Bill Wilson once said in that “Faith without works was dead.” We can pray all we want until we are blue in the face for freedom from our addiction, but how long do we wait, doing nothing other than our normal routines in life to see if that ever happens? I remained sick for years doing just this until I realized my Higher Guidance was waiting on me to take action as well. Action meant going to those recovery meetings, doing those 12 Steps, talking to those sponsors, and reaching out to help those still addicted, regularly. But praying and waiting on my Higher Guidance alone to make a permanent change within me generally only left me re-engaging in my addiction over and over again with ever-increasing frustration.
Please don’t get me wrong though, there are some who have gone for years clean and sober from a former addiction without doing much of anything other than using self-will and a little bit of prayer. Unfortunately, the majority of them also just transfer their old obsession to a new one, or they often find their life seriously lacking and filled with a tremendous amount of self-pity.
The fact is, I’ve never met a single person in life yet who has been able to regulate their addiction through any combination of self-will, self-control, or prayer alone and remained happy, joyous, and free in life. The only solution I’ve found that achieves this is to work my ass off on a daily basis, living and breathing those 12 Steps and following the guidance of my Higher Power. In doing so, I’ve been able to stay clean and sober and live a healthy life of recovery for a good while now. So I think I’ll continue on this path, because the one of self-will, self-control, and prayer without action did nothing more than keep me in a prison of endless relapses…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson