Do you ever find yourself getting angry at other people’s actions, often labeling them as ignorant, stupid, or ridiculous? The interesting thing I’ve learned on my spiritual journey in life is whenever I’ve done that, my anger’s not been about any of those people, it’s been about something within myself that I wasn’t wanting to look at.
The most common example I can think of here is the words I’ve used in the past at drivers I’ve deemed as “bad”. I’m sure you know what I mean because it happens all the time to most of us. Take for example when someone races out in front of us, almost sideswipes us, cuts us off, or tails us too closely. I used to scream and swear at drivers like that from the safe confines of my own car’s cabin. But the funny thing is I was just as much of the same type of driver as they were, having done each of those actions and then some regularly. But it sure was easier yelling at them and looking at their reckless actions rather than my own.
You see that’s the problem with anger. It’s so easy to be that way when someone else is doing something our ego doesn’t like, because the focus is then on them, rather than us. I spent years of my life acting like this, getting angry again and again at plenty of things that others did, but rarely taking a long, hard look at my own actions.
In all honesty, I quite regularly thought of others as ignorant, stupid, or ridiculous because of the things they were doing, but the reality is I was really the one being each of those things. The common misconception I often fell into is that if everyone would just act more sensibly, that my life and this world would fare far better. That was an illusion though, because even when everyone did exactly as I thought they should, I just created a mirror image around me of my own flaws and character defects, which still left me feeling angry.
And the only person who truly suffers from being angry all the time at others is the actual person who’s angry. More than not, they find it easier to place their anger and blame on someone else, instead of figuring out within themselves why they’re always getting angry in the first place.
That’s why I really try hard nowadays to look within myself anytime I find myself getting angry with another. And whenever I start thinking that someone else is being ignorant, stupid, or ridiculous, I take it as an opportunity to look inside at my own flaws and character defects, because I know I still have them, and maybe always will to some extent.
But I know the more I look at my flaws and character defects and the more I work through them, the less I find myself getting angry at others and the more patient and compassionate I feel with everyone and everything. The bottom line is that I’d rather have those qualities, than be constantly walking around with a chip on my shoulder because of how everyone else is acting…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
Judgment of others is always a red-flag to my spiritual condition, and my patience while driving is a clear indicator of it. If I am getting frustrated with drivers, questioning their abilities, sanity, or intelligence, it is frequently a sign of my own impatience. That impatience often manifests from sloth, procrastination or overcommitment (leaving too late, cutting my margins too thin, trying to schedule too much in too little time). So my frustration, and my troubles, it seems, are of my own making – one of the most annoying lines in the text we both read. 🙂 Realizing this usually gets me right-sized quickly – although my ego always gets bruised in the process.
I guess the other issue is in your question – “Do you often get angry at others’ actions?” The true answer is, I don’t usually make it through the day without getting honked-off at *some* trivial thing. But the good news is, my conscience can short-circuit my ego much faster, and I don’t spend as much time irked at others. I’m still definitely a work-in-progress – and I’m sure a test and a trial to any guardian angels I might have picked up along the way!