Living in an addiction is a vicious cycle.
At first the substance of the addiction seems to be exactly what I need. It totally feels like it brings me all that ease and comfort needed to cope with my life. It makes me forget about all of my pain for a while. And soon it becomes the answer to solving every one of my day-to-day problems.
But then the tide turns.
That’s when the addiction starts appearing to be the source of all my difficulties. That’s when the addiction has begun to take over and consume me. That’s when my days become built around engaging in the addiction. And that’s precisely when my life begins unraveling at the seams, when the chaos and consequences of doing the addiction far outweigh the benefits it once had.
Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically, my body screams to stop doing it. So I do, because the pain has become so great.
Hours, days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years go by with strong memories of all that pain. But eventually that goes away and I completely forget about all those negative effects of the addiction that was once my best friend.
That’s when I begin missing my best friend, the addiction, and find myself thinking it really wasn’t so bad the last time I said hello. Life then suddenly brings a big storm my way, which propels me enough to reach out and call my best friend, the addiction, back into my life.
Ahhh, the temporary ease and comfort returns. My brain reminds me how the addiction is exactly what I needed all along. Oh how it missed it so much. And soon I’m off and running, chasing after that feeling all over again.
That is until the tide turns just like before. And it will. It’s just a matter of time.
That’s the vicious cycle of living in an addiction and it’s a deadly one, one that too many never fully break free from, wasting their entire life engaging in it, until the end result often becomes the Grim Reaper and death.
Thank God I’m not living in that vicious cycle anymore. Thank God I see the pattern of that vicious cycle so clearly now. And thank God I know what I need to keep on doing, every day, for the rest of my life, to prevent myself from stepping back into that vicious cycle ever again.
It’s living the 12 Steps and it truly is the ONLY solution I’ve ever found to freeing me from the deadly grips of the vicious cycle of addiction…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson