Today is my third sober anniversary from an addiction I fought against and lost the battle with for a good portion of my life. It’s one I’d fathom most would find extremely difficult to appreciate if they haven’t ever struggled with this addiction. Nevertheless, on April 23rd, 2012, I finally admitted my powerlessness over my sex and love addiction. It was then I embarked upon a spiritual journey to start recovering from it in Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) and later Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA).
Recovery from this addiction has been vastly different than my recovery for my prior addiction to alcohol and drugs. At least with the latter, I learned very early on I could easily spend the rest of my life without needing either of them. Practicing permanent abstinence from alcohol and drugs was really not a big loss given how I found plenty of healthier ways in life to find joy and happiness. But sex and love are two things that are quite innate to our human makeup and abstaining from both was never the plan for my long-term recovery from this addiction. Instead, I had to come up with a bottom (sober) line list of former behaviors that always led me to spiraling addictively out of control.
For three years now, I’m so grateful to be able to say I’ve adhered to the bottom line I created with the help of my sponsor. It hasn’t been easy but I’ve definitely maintained my sobriety with the following:
- No sexual intimacy outside my committed relationship.
- No perusing any dating or sex-based websites.
- No pornography.
- No phone or cyber sex.
- No chasing after married or unavailable people.
But like I said already, most probably won’t understand why sobriety from these things is such a big deal. But for someone like me, who once couldn’t go a day, an hour, and sometimes even a minute without having one of these in play, it’s actually a huge deal! Thus I’m overly grateful to be hitting another milestone in my recovery for this addiction.
This is why I personally would like to thank my sponsor, the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) recovery programs, and of course my Higher Power (which is God) for helping me find a tremendous amount of freedom from an addiction that formerly occupied so much of my time, energy, and money.
Don’t get me wrong though, I still have plenty of temptations that arise on a daily basis, beckoning me to once again succumb to this addiction’s deadly allure, but thankfully I haven’t. And God-willing, I plan to reach another milestone 365 days from now by continuing to diligently work one day at a time on my 12 Step recovery program for sex and love addiction…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson