I’ve met plenty of good public speakers throughout my life, especially in the rooms of recovery from addiction. In fact I used to covet many of their lives, wishing I was a lot more like them, until I realized after getting to know them much better, that one’s actions truly do speak far louder than one’s words.
The truth is, if you really want to know whether a great public speaker lives as they say they do and has the life they say they have, spend an entire day with them. Over the years, I’ve gotten to know so many in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous in that way. Some of them were absolutely gifted in that public speaking department, but in spending time with them outside those meeting rooms, I saw loads of behaviors that didn’t quite live up to what I heard from them at the podium.
Because of this, I’ve become more skeptical these days anytime I’ve heard someone talking about how spiritual they are, how great their recovery program is, or how close their connection is to their Higher Power. You see it’s those people who were always the ones I used to gravitate towards, but found out later in hanging out with them, they really weren’t who they say they were. Instead, I watched as they gossiped, judged, and backstabbed others more than not. I saw how they grew restless, irritable and discontent anytime things didn’t go their way. And I never felt spiritually uplifted when hanging around with them one bit. But guess what? Each was only a mirror for me, one that I constantly avoided looking into.
What I mean by that is this…
My Higher Power blessed me in this life with a way with words too, except I used to utilize that gift to manipulate others into believing I had my act together. Why? Because getting those pats on the back and those verbal approvals after speaking kept me going for a while in the half-ass recovery program I once maintained. Eventually though, that illusion I created of how wonderful my recovery and spirituality was, evaporated when I landed in a locked ward of a mental hospital. And that’s when I finally had to look in that mirror to learn this invaluable lesson.
So I offer each of you a gentle suggestion. Anytime you find yourself placing a great speaker on some imaginary pedestal like I once did with others and even with myself, know that it could just be a bunch of smoke and mirrors. Try spending a day with that person before you start out on some quest to be just like them, because you may just find that their actions speak far louder than their words…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
