It’s been a long while since I had an entirely great day, where my body wasn’t hurting, and where I felt truly happy to be alive. Living day to day with chronic pain has made it extremely difficult to remain positive, especially because I honestly can’t remember when that last day was from beginning to end where I felt amazing and blessed to be alive. But on a random day recently when I went to a local spiritual store, the owner of the shop listened to my ongoing sadness over my health and had some great advice for me, as she too has been battling her own forms of chronic pain. She suggested I start looking for those moments of happiness throughout the day and dwelling on them, rather than looking at how one more day passed mostly riddled with agony.
As I sat there and listened to her explain that sometimes she only finds moments here and there where she feels at peace, I completely understood. Living with chronic pain has made it extremely difficult for me to smile, to laugh, and to really feel a part of God’s world, no matter how beautiful something has been going on around me. I understood the owner of this shop even more when she said that sometimes the only serenity she finds for a complete 24 hours is when she is sitting in her backyard spending time alone observing nature or reading a book. She further explained to me that it’s helped her at day’s end to reflect back on those serene moments from the day, instead of getting upset at the fact that the overall day was mostly arduous.
Since visiting this woman’s shop that day, I have been practicing this very technique. It has helped me some, because there definitely are plenty of serene moments I have here and there during one whole day. Sometimes they come during a meditation, sometimes they come in my own backyard watching the birds, sometimes they come during an enjoyable meal, and sometimes they come in doing something so simple as just holding my partner’s hand.
But all in all, living with chronic pain and waiting for it to pass, has without a doubt been the biggest challenge I’ve ever had to face in life. Thus, I’m very grateful to have met someone who gave me a new way of looking at my present situation, because life has been a little better since I began looking for those moments of happiness. So I think I’m going to keep on practicing this, because eventually in doing so, those moments will begin to expand more and more until I do have an entire day of peace and serenity once again…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson