Just recently I had someone strongly make a sexual suggestion towards me that was definitely not coming from a joking around place. While I was completely taken aback by the whole incident, what surprised me even more was how they fully knew I was already in a committed relationship with someone else. Interestingly enough, I didn’t react angrily one bit to the incident solely because I too have done behaviors just like this when I was active in a sex and love addiction.
The last time this happened was over three and a half years ago now. Back then I had no boundaries and I walked over everyone else’s as well. Whether someone had a partner or not never mattered to me, I only thought of myself. More times than I can count, I made strong sexual suggestions to those I knew who were attracted to me but already committed to someone else because I was so caught up in my selfishness and self-centeredness. In other words, I only thought about what I could get out of a situation rather than what I could bring into it.
So when I used to see someone I thought was attractive and discovered they found me attractive as well, I began to play my own game to try to snag them all for me. And this of course was regardless of whether they were already in a committed relationship or not. Some used to call me a home wrecker, which today I will honestly and sadly acknowledge I most definitely was back then.
But you see that’s just what happens when one succumbs to the disease of sex and love addiction. Because in an addiction like that, the only thing that ultimately matters is one getting their sexual and intimate gratification in any way they can.
Thankfully today I can see all this quite clearly, especially when someone else is acting as nothing more than a mirror for me. A mirror that is only showing me a glimpse into my sick past where I would offer things such as a strong sexual suggestion to someone else without even thinking of how it may impact them.
Sex and love addiction is real and many people suffer from it without even knowing it. Thank God I’m in recovery for it for a good while now and can have compassion towards others who are only doing to me what I once did to everyone else. And thank God my recovery is strong enough today to keep my boundaries in place and resist the temptation that may try to come my way…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
Thank God, indeed. There have been several “users” I have encountered over the years – talking of “fun sex” when it would have been more like masturbating into someone else’s body (or being masturbated into). Reminds me of a friend in Illinois who told me that ‘I want what I want, when I want it” was the mating call of a wild asshole. 🙂
Yes, totally not healthy at all… 🙂 Thanks for commenting Steve.