I continue to struggle at times with respecting other people’s boundaries. While I don’t have a problem setting my own these days and making sure I keep them in place, there are times my fear gets the best of me and I end up overstepping someone else’s.
With the situation that happened recently where someone dear to me asked for some personal space through an e-mail due to some things they were going through, instead of granting that, I immediately went into total fear mode, feeling abandonment, and reacted. I picked up my cell phone and called them twice. When they didn’t answer either, I called a third time, but from my home number, which is a restricted number, hoping they would pick up. I even went so far as sending them two very self-absorbed e-mails back to back as well when none of my correspondence was being answered. All of this was due to my fear and I know none of it was in alignment with God’s will for me.
Looking back to the precise moment when I received their e-mail asking for some space, I realize there were a few things I didn’t do as the fear within me arose. I didn’t pray. I didn’t reach out to God. In fact, I didn’t do any spiritual action whatsoever.
The consequences of that were me showing a total lack of consideration for my friend’s needs and what they’re going through. So where I had a great opportunity to connect with God and ask for the strength to respect someone else’s boundary, I instead had a weak moment, took my will back, and only caused more stress and frustration for a person I truly care about.
But I’m doing my best to not beat myself up about it. Rather, I’m taking it as a very valuable lesson I needed to learn. So often in life, it’s easy for any of us to react in the flight of fear, rather than take a moment, breathe, and ask our Higher Power for guidance.
I’m pretty positive that if I had, I would have sent one e-mail in response simply stating that I completely understand, that I love them, and will be praying for them until our next conversation came down the road.
While I can’t go back in time and change this, I am going to take this energy and move forward, remembering the next time someone sets a boundary with me, that if it brings up fear within me, I need to immediately pray and wait on God to provide me clear direction.
I’m sure if I do, the result will be an action that the other person will respect me for, far greater than if I don’t…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson