I saw a movie today that made me cry so hard. It was about a middle-aged man who was living a pretty great life until he experienced a tragic event that changed everything for him. It was called “Me Before You” and much of it reminded me of what I’ve been going through myself in recent years.
The film begins with an extremely good-looking man named Will Traynor (played by Sam Claflin) who is just starting his day in a very upbeat way. It’s apparent how good his life is by his home surroundings, his attractive girlfriend, and even the clothes he puts on to go to work. But suddenly his playboy life changes in the blink of an eye when he’s hit by a motorcycle during a heavy downpour heading on foot to work and becomes a paraplegic.
The story picks up two years later with his family looking to hire someone to help keep him company, as he has been more despondent than not with anyone or anything ever since his tragic accident. Enter Lou Clark (played by Emilia Clarke), a quirky young woman just looking for a job after a recent layoff at the diner she worked at. With her family pressuring her to help support the household by a currently laid off father, she’s willing to take anything in a town where jobs are scarce. So when an opportunity arises to be a caregiver for the local very-wealthy Traynor family, she jumps at the chance, but assumes it’s probably for an elder man. Little does she know that it’s for Will or that his mother has an ulterior motive behind the person they’re looking to hire. Will has signed a right-to-die contract for a euthanasia in Switzerland, but promised his parents he’d give his life six more months before making the final decision. His mother secretly hopes that the woman they hire, that being Lou, will somehow change his mind and give him a reason to go on living during that time.
While I know I’m not paralyzed nor confined to a wheelchair like Will was in the movie, I could relate to all the pain and anguish he went through day after day after day, trying to cope with a life he never wanted or ever imagined he’d be living.
Not too long ago, I was living a similar life to Will’s, except for one thing. I couldn’t seem to free myself from falling into one addiction after another. So in a humble-moment one afternoon, after falling prey to yet another time of toxic behavior, I got on my knees and asked God to bring me through whatever I needed to go through to be free from all the addictions, toxins, impurities, and energies that kept me from being the person God wanted me to be in this life. In that moment, I truly was open and willing and ready to go through whatever I needed to, to make that happen. Little did I know though that my life would change dramatically not too long after that prayer, as I would become plagued with many different pains and ailments.
And similar to what Will experienced in the movie, there has been no amount of medications, loving company, holistic healing, volunteering, or the like that has been able to truly bring a consistent smile to my face or warmth to my soul. Yet, years later, there is one thing that has sustained me from giving up like Will wanted to in the film. It’s God and I have remained faithful to God even on many days when the pain has been so great I’ve wanted to curl up in a ball and die. Why? Because I believe God has a plan for me that’s not meant to end with this.
But I must admit that sometimes I think if euthanasia did exist here in our country, I might have already gone down that path myself on days when it’s harder to exist than not. But yet, I don’t believe that’s the path I’m meant to take. I don’t believe that God has allowed me to go through all this, just to end up being taken care of by someone else for the rest of my life. I also don’t believe that God’s plans for me involve being medicated and numb just to keep going. So I wait with hope and I have joy in that hope, joy that one day soon things will be far better for me and that’s where my path diverted from that of Will’s in the movie.
Without God, I think I’d probably already be dead by now given what I’ve gone through all these years. But I must say, seeing this movie truly was like seeing a snippet out of my own life and all the difficulties I go through just to make it through a single day.
Nevertheless, “Me Before You” was a strong tear-jerker film that truly did hit very close to home. While I’m grateful I’m not paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair, I related so much to Will Traynor’s struggles throughout the entire movie. Living with intense pain or any serious handicap is not easy, especially when others don’t know how it feels because they’ve never gone through it themselves. So I encourage all of you to be thankful for what you have, especially if you’re not currently suffering with any serious handicap or daily pain, because there are people out there just like Will and myself who do and who have uphill battles to face with each living breath. But if you do struggle like Will or myself, know you’re not alone and know there is one who can sustain you through it all, and that’s God, for I’m living proof that even in the darkness, there is light…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson