Month: August 2017

The Parable Of The Doorman

Once upon a time, there lived a wise and righteous king who cared deeply for his people. In order to ensure that his kingdom prospered, the king summoned one of his servants and gave him this decree, “Go and stand at the door of the palace. If someone comes and asks to see me, open the door and allow them in so I may speak with them.” So, the servant went and did as the king commanded. People came from far and wide to see the king. Some were rich men, some were great scholars, others were from noble families, and when they asked to see the king the doorman gave them entry. Then one day a poor beggar came to the palace door and asked to see the king. The doorman looked him over and frowned. The beggar’s clothes were dirty and torn, he wore no shoes and was unpleasant to look at. “Surely my king would not wish to meet with such a man as this,” the doorman said to himself, and turned the beggar away. Soon the doorman began turning others away; people he deemed too poor, or too sick, or too strange. When the king discovered what was being done he summoned the doorman to him. “Why have you been turning people away from the palace?” the king demanded angrily. The doorman was surprised and replied meekly, “My king, I was only performing the duty you gave me.” “Your duty was to open the door for those who would see me,” said the king, “not decide if they were worthy to do so.”

Have you ever turned someone away from getting to know you because they didn’t meet some set of standards you personally held? While I personally don’t do this anymore, there was a time when I did and this story was a great reminder of that. As it wasn’t that long ago when I regularly overlooked those who were destitute, disabled, unattractive to me in some way, or too odd in personality or appearance. Yet in the past bunch of years, with the transition I’ve been going through, I’ve become the very thing I once would have rejected in someone else. Yet through all my ailments, my lack of a job and income, and my own set of weirdness I tend to exhibit these days, I’ve learned to find love, compassion, and acceptance for all those I used turn a blind eye towards. Ironically, I also seem to be on the other side of the coin now where I’m the one experiencing rejections from other people who I was looking to befriend. While it’s never easy to deal with this when it happens, I remain grateful because at least I know now how it felt every time I did it to someone else. Nevertheless, I know that God, and whatever other Beings of Light exist out there beyond my comprehension, fully accepts and embrace me just as I am, and that’s what I pray I will always do from here on out with others in this world as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“WE ONLY GOT 2 MINUTES TO POUND SOME BEERS BEFORE WE’RE CUT OFF!!!”

While I love going to professional sporting events from time to time like to our local Triple A baseball team, The Toledo Mud Hens, I find it hard to deal with all those who drink alcohol profusely at them, mostly because of their behaviors, especially as the end of the game looms near.

“WE ONLY GOT 2 MINUTES LEFT TO POUND SOME BEERS BEFORE WE’RE CUT OFF!!!”

Those were the words a man screamed quite loudly as he quickly downed a beer while standing next to one of the alcohol stands at the most recent game I attended. Surrounding him were a bunch of others who were all slamming beers as well, each trying to consume as much alcohol as they could before the booze sales ended that night at the stadium I was at. All of them were being overly loud and rowdy, shouting various obscenities into the air without any regard to those walking by, including a number of children.

It’s behaviors like this that make it truly difficult for a recovering alcoholic like me to continuing going to any of these types of sporting events. While I do my best to tune it all out when I’m at them, I often struggle doing so, particularly because it always feels like I’m surrounded by people who act like I once did, when I was still an active drinker.

 

At this particular game I went to just over a week ago now for my partner’s company event, most people around me seemed to be consuming one alcoholic beverage after another to no end. And as the night rolled on, it felt as if their voices grew louder, along with them shouting, doing increased antics, slurring their words, and smelling like a distillery. Thankfully at least this time, no one spilled their beers on me, as that’s happened before at events like this, since I became sober.

Honestly, I don’t miss any of this at all and specifically why I don’t attend many professional sporting events these days. But in the same breath, I must say, I was grateful I got to see all those drinking behaviors that night, as it was a great reminder of why I got clean and sober in the first place. You see, each of those drinking behaviors were things I did myself in my former active alcoholic days. Thus, I shouldn’t judge any of them because they’re just a reminder of me.

That’s why I think it’s maybe a good thing I continue to see this from time to time at things like a professional sporting event, because the longer I stay sober, the harder I find it is to remember how bad it was when I used to drink. Thus, seeing it like I did at this Toledo Mud Hens game recently, became a pretty good tool to jar my memory of a period of my life that I often tend to forget.

So, I’m choosing to look at the positive and thank God for my sobriety and all those drunk people I was around at that sporting event the other night. Because if it wasn’t for people like them, I might easily forget just how bad I was back in the day. And that’s definitely a path I wish to NEVER travel down in this life again, so help me God…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson