1 in 302 million. That’s the odds that everyone faced in the Mega Millions $1.6 billion jackpot this past week. It was definitely the talk of the town wherever I went, with people dreaming big about what they’d do if they won. I’ll admit I bought a single ticket for a mere $2, just to say I participated once again in the lotto fever that struck, but sadly, I didn’t win. Yet, somehow, at least in my case, I wonder if that was a good thing.
Money truly corrupts the soul, as the more one has, the more it seems to drive a person into selfishness and self-centeredness. There is a general belief that money is power and the more one has of it, the more one can do anything. Some even say that everything has a price and can be bought. I’ve known of a few who went to jail that might agree because they didn’t have enough money to pay for those high-priced lawyers who always seem get their clients out of serious hot water.
Regardless, I believe I’m a far healthier person overall today without all the money I once had. As when I did have a bunch of it, I carried an attitude that definitely wasn’t filled with gratitude, I walked around like I was better than everyone else, and I used it to control and manipulate those I was attracted to.
As a recovering addict now, I see so clearly how having money was just like any other addiction. I chased after it and it controlled me more than I controlled it. When I lost the majority of it, I truly felt like I had lost my identity as well, because I had completely built my life around it, but I honestly didn’t like myself much back then, as all of my happiness was defined by what all that money was able to get me.
There were so many people, places, and things, that it allowed me to access, that I never would have accessed without it, yet I never appreciated any of it. It was all part of a spiritual sickness that kept growing the more I chased after it. One, that made me quite ugly in the way I operated and lived out my entire life, which brings me back to this most recent billion-dollar lottery payout.
For the one who wins a $1.6 billion-dollar lottery, the cash payout after all the taxes are taken out is a lump sum of $904 million. I’m quite sure there are plenty of people who feel that having that amount of money would solve all their problems for the rest of their life. But, I can promise you that it’s the ego saying that, as there are far more complications that come with having a lot of money in your pocket.
New friends come into your life because they want what you can offer with all that money, not because they inherently like you. People come out of the woodworks with frivolous lawsuits, hoping to get a piece of your pie. Long-time friends start to expect you to pay for their meals, bills, and vacations because you have far more than they do. People begin to spread rumors about you, constantly talking behind your back, spreading gossip, due to their jealousy, always trying to tarnish your reputation. You also become more of a magnet for charities, scams, criminals, and much more. Thankfully, I only had to experience the tip of the iceberg with this, but I’ve done enough research to know these are indeed the many headaches that come with having a lot more money.
Nevertheless, I discovered that having ample money during a period of my life was also my Achilles heel for trying to live a spiritual life. During that period, I rarely cared about anything spiritual, especially God, as money made me feel like I was invincible to the many sufferings on this planet. Yet, when I lost the majority of it back in 2010 and began to experience both life without it and life in chronic pain (as that is when all my health issues actually started), I quickly realized just how much money had created an illusion in my life and had been poison to my soul.
So, maybe it really isn’t a good thing for someone like me, a recovering addict who’s trying to serve God on every level these days, to win a $1.6 billion-dollar lottery. Maybe indeed God sees I might never become the spiritual being I pray I’m meant to become if I was filthy rich. While I may never know the truth to this, I do have to laugh at God’s sense of humor, as I wrote on the back of my ticket this past week after purchasing it, a single statement three times. I said “This ticket is a winning ticket” and you know what, it actually was.
I got the Powerball number right and won my $2 back. And somehow, I think that maybe God was trying to send me a message in that… 🙂
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
