Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where every entry is always an expression of some piece of gratitude from my life to start my week off on a positive note, which for today is for my twin 18-year-old nephews, Noah and Jacob, who just graduated from Northwood Academy in Summerville, South Carolina.

Originally, I was planning on being with them for their graduation weekend to cheer them on as they picked up their diplomas, but due to COVID-19, social distancing, and a variety of other family complications, I didn’t end up making the trip there, much to my dismay. When I learned shortly thereafter that their school was only allowing the immediate family to attend the graduation ceremony anyway, it didn’t make me feel any better, as I really just wanted to be there in person to support my nephews, even if it had meant I was only going to be able see them after the ceremony was over. Regardless, when my sister let me know that through the modern marvels of technology, I could still watch them graduate via Facebook Live, my ego initially got the best of me. Out of sheer anger and resentment, I told myself I was going to boycott it. Thankfully, my 12 Step recovery program and my Higher Power are much stronger than my ego nowadays, because as the clock struck 3pm this past Saturday, I went with the urgings of my Spirit and clicked the link my sister had sent me to actually watch their graduation.

While I wouldn’t recommend doing what I did as I watched the ceremony, which was driving to a prior engagement to see a friend of mine who lived over an hour away, I was truly grateful I did it anyway. That small voice that had convinced me not to miss this opportunity, even from afar, was surely something I felt gratitude for. Nevertheless, watching them walk into the very same auditorium I had once been with them during a church service a few years prior, brought back some familiarity and connection. I smiled as each of them passed by the cameraperson videoing the entire event and felt a rush of warm love and proudness being their Uncle. I had to chuckle a little as well, as the goofy facial expression on Noah reminded me so much of the one I probably had on my face when I was about to graduate from high school, one that most likely looked a little cocky in nature, but one also well-deserved for all the years of hard work that had led up to it.

Next came the initial prayers and speeches from the principal, the salutatorian, and the valedictorian, and as I waited with baited breath for the names of students to begin being called, it wasn’t long before I heard Jacob Allen Curry roll across the microphone. As he walked up on stage I learned he had been high honors in his class, which I didn’t know, and that was absolutely something I felt gratitude for. Before he left the stage, he stood there for a picture, which thankfully once again due to the modern marvels of technology, I took a screenshot on my phone leaving me a nice snapshot almost as if I had been there taking it. Next in line was of course his brother Noah Andrew Curry. If there is one thing I’ve always admired about Noah is how much he and I are alike, in posture, in attitude, in outward appearance, in behaviorisms and more. Noah definitely commands attention wherever he goes and has an air of confidence, which always brings a smile to my face whenever I see that because of how much I at times can be just like that. And once again before he left the stage, I was able to grab another snapshot with him and his diploma in hand grinning from ear to ear.

When the ceremony drew to a close after the rest of their classmates received their diplomas, I watched as they all turned their tassels in the opposite direction to now show they were graduates. It brought back fond memories from long ago of when I did the same and gratitude for Noah and Jacob having finally completed high school, knowing many others have often not made it and dropped out.

As my nephews headed out of the auditorium and the ceremony officially came to an end, the only feeling I had at that point was gratitude, not just for them finally graduating of course, but also for the fact that my Spirit and my 12 Step Program had triumphed instead of my ego. Because in all honestly, I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if my ego had won out that day and convinced me to skip it, which is why I chose to dedicate today’s Grateful Heart Monday to my nephews Noah and Jacob, for their graduation from high school, and for actually still getting to see it…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

Have you ever put something off in your life, telling yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, only to have that tomorrow never come? If so, what happened?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Daily Reflection

“You can put things off until tomorrow, but tomorrow may never come.” (Gloria Estefan)

“I should spend more time with my Dad.” “I should make more time for him to visit me or vice versa.” “I should call him and take the time to see how he is”. These were all things I used to tell myself quite frequently when it came to my relationship with my Father, always putting a closer connection with him off for another day, until one day, the phone call came where I learned my Dad was gone and there wouldn’t be any more chances to connect with him except in memories and in prayer.

Have you ever been through something this? Have you ever put off making time for another repeatedly, only to have a day come before that ever got to happen, where that person was no longer alive and there weren’t any more chances to connect with them?

Losing my Father and Mother, and a number of dear friends over the years as well, so abruptly due to tragic means changed my outlook upon life with all those I care about. Without any addiction driving my life these days, I’ve learned to place greater value upon those I care about, knowing a relationship with any of them may not be around tomorrow.

I had a teacher once who asked me when I was going through a difficult ordeal with an ex of mine, whether I’d be acting the same towards them if I suddenly found out they had six months to a year left in their life due to a rapid onset of some terrible disease or illness. The answer was always the same, I wouldn’t act the same. In fact, I’d do everything I could to spend as much time with that person. My teacher’s response after hearing that was how I should be acting that way all the time then with them, because that tomorrow I kept putting reconciliation off to, may never come.

In the past few months, I’ve been going through a similar situation with my sister. While I’ve spent the last few years being willing to go to whatever lengths to spend time and connect with her, I’ve struggled with how busy she is and how limited our time is connecting. I’ve often wondered if she would do more to connect with me if I suddenly developed some condition that gave me less than a year left to live. Would she then make more time for me? I don’t know, but what I do know is how easy it is to put something off to tomorrow under the guise of how busy we are today. But tomorrow is never a guarantee and may never come for us, not just for reaching out and spending time with those we love, but also for ourselves too. I learned that pretty quickly after losing my health literally overnight, back in late April of 2010. In the years since, I’ve had to face the reality that there are things I once said I’d do, that now my physical body isn’t capable of doing.

The fact is, life is too short. We’re here today and gone tomorrow. So, if you have a loved one you keep thinking you want to connect more with, or if you have something you’d love to do in life but haven’t yet, and you keep putting either off for one tomorrow after another, know that tomorrow may never come. And if it doesn’t, it may just leave you with an ache in your heart and a longing that you’d wish you had made the time for whatever it was, when you could…an ache I know oh, so, very well…

Dear God, help me to not put off anymore, anything that my heart desires to do today, knowing that tomorrow may never come.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson