Daily Reflection

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” (Confucius)

The following is a true story from one of the spiritual publications I read daily that really reminded me of an invaluable lesson I’ve faced in life a number of times.

“Many years ago, my stepfather, a retired engineer, went out to oversee his vegetable garden. He noticed excessive puddles of water scattered throughout his yard. There had been no rain and so it seemed that an aging pipe or water main break was to blame. He estimated the route of the underground line and began digging up the lawn in hopes of finding the source of the problem. Holes turned into trenches, and his backyard soon became a mixture of dirt piles, mud, and mysterious expanding puddles of water. After fruitless hours of digging, he searched for the garden hose to clean himself off and call for backup. It was then he discovered the outdoor faucet was already turned on. Water had surged out of the mouth of the hose and had been flowing into the yard for well over a day. He had forgotten to turn it off the last time he’d watered the garden.”

How many times have I done something just like this? Countless. There was that time I was at the International World Convention for Alcoholics Anonymous in San Antonio in 2010 where I had just gone to the bathroom and was now out in a very busy hallway with thousands of other people heading to various meetings. I went to make a phone call when I suddenly realized I couldn’t find my cell phone. I frantically searched the floor around me and then retraced my steps to the bathroom, thinking maybe I had placed it on the urinal, only to discover from some very annoyed individuals attempting to relieve themselves that there was nothing sitting there in front of them. As my heart raced and raced, panic setting in, I emerged back into the crowded hallway once more and thrusted my hands in frustration into my back pockets to rest them there from swinging so wildly in the air, whereupon I discovered my phone had been with me the entire time!

Why do we make things like this so complicated? Is it our ego? Probably. I’ve definitely wasted countless bouts of energy over the years in many different projects overcomplicating things that were meant to be so simple. It’s why I tend to avoid at all costs doing any of those assemble-at-home types of furniture from places like IKEA. And dare I say how many times I’ve had incidents just like that “lost phone” occur in my life? If I only took a moment to slow down and take a deep breath when things like this happen!

You see, that’s always been my problem. Fear strikes and I react. I run headfirst into a situation trying to solve it with rash thinking, rather than slowing down, assessing the entire situation, breathing deeply, and allowing the Spirit from within to lend a hand. But, I find the more I slow down when any crisis strikes, rather than exasperate myself into anger, frustration and fear trying to solve it, the more I allow myself to breathe through the issue, and the more the solution seems to come through something very simple and usually quite painless too.

Dear God, please remind me the next time any problem strikes, to take a moment and breathe, and allow You to work from within me, so that I may see the solution with far more simplicity and far less complexity… 

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

If suddenly you could fully control your dreams when you’re asleep and remember them when you’re awake, what would you like to dream about?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Grateful Heart Monday

Having a life of gratitude, something I’ve found is so crucial to maintaining a positive outlook in life, is the very reason why I began this Grateful Heart Monday series a good bit ago now. In light of that, what I’m most grateful for today is reconciliation that took place just recently with my dear friend Dexter.

Quite often, I’ve found on my sober journey that not all of my past addictive damage will get rectified even with any strong efforts I make to do so. Sometimes the damage I’ve caused upon another is permanent because the pain I inflicted upon them from selfish actions was just too great. Recently, I began to wonder if that was going to be the case with Dexter, which led me to having a ton of regrets about my addictive past and feeling a lot of shame because of it. So, I sat down one night and spent a few hours composing a heartfelt email, expressing an amends to Dexter, as well as letting him know how much I missed him. I had no expectation that he would even respond and frankly, I didn’t feel I deserved a response given all the ways I once treated him and given some of my recent actions surrounding his personal life that were me still being selfish. But, if there’s one thing I know I’m good at doing nowadays, it’s looking deep within myself and owning my shadows, my flaws, my shortcomings, and where I’ve been at fault, which I think Dexter truly felt in the email I sent him. Because I did get a response, which did lead to a phone call, which did lead to the beginning of reconciliation between us, something that really means more to me than I can put into words here.

Dexter has always been a very loyal, kind, and compassionate individual and is someone who stood by my side and unconditionally loved me when I didn’t do the same. We could have made an incredible couple if I hadn’t been so selfish and self-centered and caught up in addiction with another, focused mostly on pleasing my own needs, wants, and desires and often overlooking his. While I’ve always had deep feelings for Dexter, the life of an addict led me to be more in love with pleasing my addiction than him, especially in our early years of getting to know each other. I have often lived with regret because of this and have tried the best I can to forgive myself for the pain I caused him and for the loss of the partnership we should have had together. For years I tried to rectify this, but the pain I caused him made it very hard for him to forget the wounds I inflicted. Sadly, I made things even worse as the years went on by getting jealous of the times he explored new relationships with others. That jealousy came in the form of passive-aggressiveness and guilt trips that only drove an even stronger wedge between us. Thankfully, I finally saw the err of my ways and owned that in the email I sent him, which he felt both in it and in the subsequent phone call we had a few days later.

Losing Dexter permanently from my life would most definitely leave a gaping hole in my heart, like it has been with a few others who have chosen to not rekindle any connection with me. In all reality, as I said before, given how I acted over the years with Dexter overall, I actually more expected I was going to lose him too. But, Dexter is one of those rare individuals who have been willing to work through this and forgive me. So, I’m filled with gratitude today both for him giving me another chance and for God allowing this to happen, which is why I’m dedicating today’s Grateful Heart Monday to building a far healthier friendship this time around with a beautiful soul named Dexter.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson