Silly Joke #1
A woman went to the doctor’s office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?” The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, “Does she still have the hiccups?”
Silly Joke #2
Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.” Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, “Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput.” He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant. The attendant says, “Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is you packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information.” Hearing that, the first guy grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: “Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin.” The attendant says, “Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!” The second guy then grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up the registration table and states in a pretty good Australian accent: “Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus.” The attendant says, “Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself.” They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan – OH NO. He is not too bright. They forgot to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and blow their cover stories. They spot him walking with a roll of barbed wire under his arm. He walks up the registration table and states: “Foster Bean. USA. Fencing.”
Silly Joke #3
Three women were returning to their Hungarian village when they spotted a man, obviously very inebriated, walking ahead of them. As they watched him stumbling, he fell face down into a mud puddle. When they walked up to him, one woman turned him over to see if she recognized him. However, his face was so covered with mud that she bent over and unzipped his pants. She remarked, “Well, he’s not my husband.” The second woman peering over her shoulder agreed, “Your right, he’s not your husband.” The third woman, somewhat older than the other two, bent over to look and said, “And he’s definitely not from our village either!!!”
Bonus Silly Joke
A recent survey was conducted that asked women of what they thought of their ass. 85% of women said that they thought that their ass was too big. 10% of women said that they thought that their ass was too small. And the remaining 5% of women asked if they were referring to their backside or their husbands.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
