Month: May 2021

The Story Of A Where The Brother Becomes The Sister’s Best Friend…

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, there was a brother and a sister who were innocent, pure, and worthy of praise, affection, and unconditional love and their names were Andrew and Laura. It didn’t take long for them in life though to see what they’d experience the most were actually drama, chaos, negativity, and unwarranted discipline, all because of a few things their parents Lew and Pam struggled with immensely, that being alcoholism, PTSD, and manic-depression. In this story, one where Andrew and Laura rarely felt embraced, accepted, or good enough, the two truly needed to turn to each other for the support they didn’t get from their parents. Sadly, instead, the dynamics of their household pitted them against each other more than not, and the two quickly grew apart, learning to fend for themselves alone in a world where they felt like they never mattered.

This is a true story and one whose aftereffects continues to play itself out between my sister and I, someone I love dearly, but have very little association with at the moment. I often believe this is much in part due to how I treated her as a kid, as I viciously fought with her most of my younger years and hated spending time with her on most days. On the contrary, I know of many who bonded with their siblings growing up and consider them amongst their best of friends to this day, devoting time with them over the phone or in person regularly, which is what my heart truly desires with my sister now. While there are presently some unfortunate dynamics with my sister’s husband that most definitely affects the potential of this from ever happening, I also tend to believe things would be quite different even in the midst of those dynamics if I had been there for my sister when we were growing up and became the best friend she needed. It’s sad to say, but I was anything but that growing up to her. I was so incredibly mean to her then and have far too many memories of me lashing out at her for no reason. Looking back, I believe I took out on her what was unfolding before my eyes with our parents and their incredible dysfunctionality.

Nevertheless, I honestly long to have memories of my sister and I growing up with laughter, connection, and a close friendship in general. But, the truth is, we rarely experienced that nor spent any healthy time together enjoying each other’s company. Rather, each time my mother was mean to my sister, or my father leaned too heavily upon her due to his mental illness, I wasn’t there for her, leaving her to feel utterly alone. The fact is, feeling alone is something we both have felt quite a bit since our childhood, yet when we could have turned to each other to help with that, we didn’t. It’s much in part why we became codependent in our lives with each of the relationships we eventually found ourselves in, learning to depend far too heavily upon them for our survival and needs that we never got growing up. How much of that would be different today, if the two of us had bonded more growing up, being there for each other, I don’t know? But, add in the notion that I spent so many years in addiction after our childhood, it only further aggravates the estrangement my sister has always felt from me.

This is why I’m not sure if my sister will ever fully trust me in this life to be there for her because of how much I was never there for her when it ultimately mattered.  It’s one of the biggest reasons why I find myself often wishing I could go back in time and become my sister’s best friend early on, as maybe we’d be that right now. I know I’ve done what I can to rectify my past, but sometimes the damage done is just too great. Truly the matter is in God’s hands now, as only he can do the work necessary in my sister’s heart and soul, and with us in general, to ever bring about a close friendship between us again.

Regardless, I love my sister dearly and pray that one day I’ll be one of her best friends in this world, one whom she can trust and rely upon when life rears its ugly head, and one where she’ll never have to feel completely alone ever again.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Michigan Lawyer: “Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?”
Barney: “No sir. I ain’t got no money, but I do have me a 1928 Ford Car!”
Lawyer: “Well I’m sure you can raise money on that. Now let’s see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?”
Barney: “A 1928 Ford Car.”

Silly Joke #2

A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He says “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He says, “Jeez…ohhh….I…” She says, “Yeah, he’s too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.”

Silly Joke #3

My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

Bonus Silly Joke

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.” I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.” When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on HIS face!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“The five ways to tell if a friend is toxic are: (1) Do they make you feel bad about yourself? (2) Do you have to change the way you act in front of them? (3) Do they use their power to control you? (4) Do they drain you, emotionally and mentally? (5) Do you feel trapped in a vicious cycle with them?” (John Wei)

Quote #2

“You shouldn’t be always available for someone who doesn’t even ask how you are doing.” (Gnanasri Iswani)

Quote #3

“Some people aren’t loyal to you…they are loyal to their need of you…once their needs change, so does their loyalty.” (Unknown)

Bonus Quote

“Toxic friends are people who speak badly about others, are negative, lack compassion, constantly have drama, lie to you, talk more than they listen, have to be right, and try to control you.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson