Silly Joke #1
The doctor has just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination. “The best thing for you to do,” the M.D. said, “is give up drinking and smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women.” “Doc, I don’t deserve the best,” said the patient. “What’s second best?”
Silly Joke #2
Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from time to time. One day he walked into Miss Sandy Smith’s 4th grade class, where the children were studying American History. Mr. Jones asked the class how many states they could name. They came up with 40. Miss Sandy Smith helped them with four more by giving them some clues. Not impressed at all, Mr. Jones told them that in his day every student knew the names of all 50 states. From the back of the room Little Johnny suddenly yelled, “Yeah, but in those days there were only 13 states!”
Silly Joke #3 (2 short ones)
A husband was speaking to my wife one evening when he said, “You know dear, your underwear fits way too tight and is a little too revealing,” She responded, “Well, maybe you should finally start wearing your own then?!”
As a mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he would behave, she said in frustration, “Why do I always have to pay you to be good? I wish you could just be good for nothing like your dad…”
Bonus Silly Joke
I had barely sat down in an airport stall when I suddenly heard a voice in the next stall over say, ‘Hi, how are you?’ While I’m not the type of guy to ever start a conversation in any men’s restroom, I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, albeit somewhat embarrassed, ‘Doin’ just fine!’ The other guy responded, ‘So, what are you up to?’ What kind of question was that I thought? At that point, I’m thinking this is getting a little weird, so I responded back, ‘Ummm, like you, I’m just traveling.’ I’m now trying to finish my business as fast as I could, when he asked, ‘Hey, would you like some company over there?’ Ok, now I was totally freaked out, so I immediately responded back quite sternly, ‘Look…… buddy, I think you got the wrong idea here.’ Then quite abruptly, he said nervously… ‘Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s some creepy guy in the stall next to mine who keeps answering all my questions!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
