Silly Joke #1
A young pastor was sitting in his favorite restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter he’d just received that morning from his mom. As he opened it a twenty-dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself, thanks, Mom, I sure needed that right now. As he finished his meal, he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning against the light post. Thinking that the poor man could probably use the twenty dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on the envelope and wrote across the top in large letters, PERSEVERE! So as not to make a scene, he put the envelope under his arm and dropped it as he walked past the man. The man picked it up and read the message and smiled. The next day, as the pastor enjoyed another meal at his favorite place to dine, the beggar tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a big wad of bills. Surprised, the young pastor asked him what that was for. The beggar replied, “This is your half of the winnings. Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track yesterday and paid thirty to one!”
Silly Joke #2
A man in his late 30’s rushes into the hotel lobby after exiting the elevator. He had flown in last night for a very important meeting this morning, which he was now running late for. He sprints up to the front desk and hammers on the bell. “Good morning, sir”, says the blonde receptionist who suddenly appeared from the office situated behind the front desk. “I’m in a hurry ma’am, could you check me out, please?” The blonde clerk stares at him, looks him up and down and immediately says, “Not bad, not bad at all!!!”
Silly Joke #3
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man at the pond there, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies where his lure wasn’t even fully in the water. “Tch Tch!” said the passerby to himself. “What a sad sight. That poor old man is never going to catch anything! I’ll see if I can help.” So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, “What are you doing, my friend?” “Fishin’, sir.” “Fishin’, eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?” The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to a bar nearby. He then ordered a large glass of beer. His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and asked, “Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?” The old fellow took a big gulp from his tasty beer and replied, “You are the sixth today, my friend!”
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question: “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with a gun, how many would be left ?” “None.”, replied Johnny. “’cause the rest would fly off.” “The correct answer is four,” said the teacher. “But I like the way you think.” Little Johnny said, “I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married ? “Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I’ll guess it’s the one sucking her cone?” “Nope,” said Little Johnny, “It’s the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you think!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
