Silly Joke #1
Doctor: “I see you’re over a month late for your appointment. Don’t you know that nervous disorders like yours require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse?”
Patient: “I was just following your orders, Doc.”
Doctor: “Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order.”
Patient: “You told me to avoid people who irritate me.”
Silly Joke #2
A wife was laying in bed one afternoon with her husband’s best friend while he was at work. She had been cheating with him for a good while now. Suddenly her phone rang and she answers it. “Yes… uh, huh… OK… yes… bye hun.” Her husband’s best friend says: “Who was that?” “That was my husband,” she replied. The man quickly jumped out of bed, and began to put on his clothes in a hurry expecting her husband to be coming home from work soon. “Relax,” said the wife. “He just called to tell me he was heading out to play golf with you…”
Silly Joke #3
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe’s place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he’d started this about six months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn’t be better. Bob thought he’d give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, “This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!”
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking lad in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous woman about the same age.The circus owner tells them: I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?” The girl says, “I’ll go first.” She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion’s cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them and rests his head at her feet. The circus owner can’t believe his eyes. He says, “I’ve never seen a display like that in my life,” He then turns to the young lad and asks, “Do you think you can top that?” The young man replies. “Sure, so long as she is ok with it?”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
