Month: May 2022

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another chapter in gratitude. For this week’s Grateful Heart Monday entry, I’d like to express my gratefulness for my friendship with a guy named Ronn Musser.

A few weeks ago, when I messaged my friend Ronn, I inquired if he was open to going and seeing this movie I had a desire to go see at the time. His response was one I didn’t expect because it showed nothing but unconditional love for me. He said, “I’d be open to seeing any movie with you.” He further clarified he just wanted to spend time with me and that it didn’t matter what we did.

You see that’s what I’ve come to know about Ronn, he’s that type of guy who isn’t interested in what he can get out of a friendship, he’s more interested in what he can bring to it, including just being present with someone he cares about. Ronn is far more about simply being there with his friends just because, rather than expecting it to meet one of his own interests.

It often seems like that far too many people these days make plans with others only when it’s doing something they want to do, rather than simply because they just want to be with their friend. When my health went downhill years ago, I felt like I became an outcast in this world because many stopped spending time with me anymore mainly because I wasn’t able to do much. My best friend Cedric was the first to show me otherwise. Eventually others came into my life who I could add to that list, which can now include Ronn.

I desire to have people in my life today like Ronn, who want to be around me because they just like being around me. That they love me for me and enjoy my company, not because of what I can offer them or what we are going to be doing together.

That’s why Ronn is such a good friend to those in his life, as he does care about the people he spends time with. He’s also an incredible listener as well and I often feel far better after spending time with him because I feel heard in life. That’s in stark contrast to many I’ve spent time with where I felt more invisible than not, and left feeling more down than up.

So, I’m grateful today for Ronn Musser continuing to remind me there are people out there in this world and in my life who do care more about just spending time with me than meeting one of their own selfish interests. It’s people like Ronn who are priceless in a world where so many pursue friendships out of selfishness rather than selflessness…So, thank you Ronn for being my friend…and thank you for those friends in my life like Ronn who have stuck by my side as well just because they care about me, no matter what.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes are a direct follow up to yesterday’s article on when we find ourselves playing that “What If” game that often takes us in a complete circle going nowhere in life…

“The trouble with the what-if game was that once you began to play it, you couldn’t just quit whenever you wanted. From one what-if grew another.” (Dean Koontz)

“But that’s the thing with the what-if game – you really never know the answer to that question. And maybe it’s better that way. Because underneath the surface of what-ifs are much worse ones.” (Elizabeth Eullberg)

“For years I played the what-if game. Maybe you’re acquainted with this pastime. The rules are simple: Rule #1: You’re only allowed to think of worst-case scenarios. Rule #2: You can only lose. Rule #3: The more you play, the greater your losses.” (Craig Groeschel)

“Playing the game of ‘what if’ never gets you anywhere except stuck in the past. The lesson in life is to move forward with what the universe hands you. You cannot expect others to know or understand your karma and your personal path. And you must allow them the grace of stepping on theirs, even when that leads them off in a direction that you cannot follow.” (Suzanne Wagner)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Playing That “What If” Game…

I’m sure every single one of us on this planet has played that “What If” game at some point or another in our lives. You know that one where we find ourselves questioning if we could have had a better outcome arise from making a different decision than the one we actually made in our past, one that typically has a less than desirable outcome.

Playing this game is one that only seems to occur when we think some present circumstance in our life could have been better if we had chosen differently in the past. While I recently wrote about a similar subject where sometimes those past decisions are ones that our Higher Power has a hand in to save us from experiencing greater pain, there’s still plenty of times I’m left wondering where my life would have headed if I had just chosen Option B over Option A.

Do you remember those “Choose Your Own Adventure” novels from the 80’s where you reach a page in the book and have two options to choose from, where one option takes you down one path in the story, and the other takes you down a completely different path? That’s about the extent of what I’ve done in my brain far too much in life, wondering how things would have unfolded if I had chosen differently.

What if I hadn’t pursued that friendship with Carmine during my senior year of high school, that guy who led me to my first alcoholic drink and to quit the swim team? 

What if I hadn’t gone to Rochester Institute of Technology and instead chosen the other college I had been accepted into, that being Northeastern?

What if I hadn’t pledged Phi Kappa Psi, or any fraternity, and had instead focused on developing my sexuality and spirituality during my collegiate years?

What if I had spent more time getting to know my father prior to his suicide, instead of avoiding time with him? 

What if I hadn’t gotten into relationships with 1st Jerry, Kevin, 2nd Jerry, Barry, or Carl?

What if I hadn’t purchased that bed and breakfast and instead remained in my home outside Washington, D.C. working at my last corporate job with U.S. Customs.

What if…

What If…

What if…

The fact is, I realize today it’s a complete waste of time playing this “What If” game, writing out my own “Choose Your Own Adventure” novel in my head surrounding all the decisions of my past life. While this type of game may be great subject material for some science fiction series on television (ex. Black Mirror’s Bandersnatch on Netflix) or for some major theatrical release (ex. “Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow”), it’s only created more pain and suffering in real life the more I’ve dwelt on my past decisions with thoughts I could have done better.

I’ve made tons of decisions in my life I feel I could have done far better with, but after watching enough science fiction surrounding this and meditating on all those decisions I’ve labeled as poor ones, I’m inclined to believe that everything really does happen for a reason, including each decision we make. Because I’m just as inclined to believe that even if we had made a different decision, that eventually the outcome would still have been the same, it might just have taken a slightly circuitous path to get there.

So, maybe it’s a totally pointless exercise to play this game because who we are now, what we are now, what we stand for, and everything in between, is precisely the person we’re supposed to be at this very moment in time? Maybe every possible decision we could have made in our past would have resulted in us becoming the very same person we are now? And maybe all that’s important today is simply to accept ourselves right now, just as we are, and continue to explore our spiritual growth in life, learning as we do, rather than wasting any more time living in the past playing that “What If” game that never goes anywhere but in circles in our heads…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson