Month: August 2022

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes surround the subject of when both parents are now gone, something a number of people I know are going through presently with recent deaths of either their mother or father…

“The death of any loved parents is an incalculable lasting blow. Because no one ever loves you again like that.” (Brenda Ueland)

“Hold dear to your parents for it is a scary and confusing world without them.” (Emily Dickinson) 

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.” (Maya Angelou)

“My parents died a long time ago. And you know the sad thing? I still miss them every day. I spent my entire youth fighting with my dad over every little thing and damned if I wouldn’t give anything to see him one more time and tell him I was sorry for the last words I said to him. Words I can never taken back that should have never been said. So call your parents. No matter what kind of relationship you have with them, I swear to you, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.” (Sherrilyn Kenyon)

“Your parents give you many things in a lifetime, most of which you will never find appreciation for, regardless of whether they were positive or negative, until long after they are both gone…” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Type Of Grieving That Comes When Both Parents Are Now Gone…

Several people I know have lost their only remaining parent recently and currently are going through the grieving process of that. This type of grieving is most definitely different when both parents are now gone, as it often triggers deep feelings of abandonment and loneliness.

When I lost my mother, who was my only remaining parent at the time, while I was grateful that she was finally out of her pain and suffering from her chronic alcoholism and mental health issues, I was also detrimentally sad for no longer having a parent to connect with about anything in life. Even though both my parents had their faults and struggled with the sickness that came from their addiction and untreated mental health issues, they still loved me and did their best to show it. While that love may have been tainted at times due to the sickness they carried, I noticed I started to feel very alone in life once they were both gone. Although one could argue that I had felt that way for years by that point due to their sickness, there were still moments in the last few years of their lives that left a positive impact upon my heart, which is why I began to miss them both greatly when they were both gone.

The type of grieving that comes when both parents are now gone feels far different than when one parent remains alive that you may continue to connect with. When both parents have left this plane of existence, it triggers the little boy or little girl within us to long for the care of their mommy or daddy, especially when you are going through a lot of your own pain and suffering in life.

I’ve lost track of the number of days over the years, especially the past five, where my pain and suffering created a longing in me to hear my mother’s or father’s voice again. After my mother passed, I kept calling my home number that remained active for a period, just to hear her voice. The same was true with my father’s answering machine after he passed. Ironically, not too long ago, I actually dialed my old childhood home number just to see what would happen. It was a very rough day where I thought in some crazy science fiction movie type-of-way that one of my parents would have picked up and said, “Hi Andy”. Sadly, the only thing that happened was hearing the number was disconnected. Even so, I can still hear my parents saying “Hi Andy” and it brings a tear to my eye thinking about it, something that was exceptionally strong during the initial grieving process once they were both gone.

I will probably always miss my parents on some level and while the grieving of their losses definitely got easier over time after my mother’s passing and while the abandonment feeling eventually lessened as well, the loneliness remained. Loneliness that came from knowing there wasn’t a parent to go to anymore to hold me when I needed safety and reassurance that can only come from a parent. The love of a husband, a wife, a partner, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a best friend, or even the love from children if you have them, will never be able to replace the emptiness that comes when both parents are now gone. It just doesn’t compare to the protection parents often give their children.

This is why I miss you Mom and Dad as much as I do, even decades later beyond both of your passings. Even though I feel like you both could still be alive and well if you had just worked through your addiction and mental health issues, I continue to feel blessed for at least remembering the love you were able to offer me when you were alive, as it was plentiful at times, I see that now. The grieving I eventually came to experience in life after you were both gone was long and arduous, but what has remained behind beyond the emptiness of it, is a heart full of love for two parents who did their best to be there for me, when push came to shove…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

The town drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into his only friend who asked, “What do you have in there bud?” “A mongoose.” he slurred. “What for?” his friend asked. “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I always seem to see snakes, and you know I’m scared to death of snakes. So that’s why I got this mongoose, for protection.” “But,” the friend said, “You idiot! You know those are imaginary snakes you’re seeing just because of how much you drink!” “I know, I know!” said the town drunk opening the box to reveal its empty contents. “But, so is my mongoose!!!”

Silly Joke #2

A minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled out and new dentures were put in. The first Sunday after, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. On the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation on the huge jump in sermon time, he responded this way:“The first Sunday, my gums were so sore from the new dentures that it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my new dentures were still hurting me a lot. But, on the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures…and I just couldn’t shut up!!!”

Silly Joke #3

A mother was trying to get her son to get out of bed to get ready for school. “I am not going to school!” Her son responded defiantly. “Why not?” his Mom wanted to know. “Well, first of all I hate school, and second of all, all the kids hate me as well!!” he answered. “Son, those aren’t very good reasons not to go. You need to get up now and get ready for school dear!” she replied. “Well, give me two good reasons then why I should,” her son said. “Well,” Mom said quietly, “First of all you are 52 years old and second of all, you are the Principal!”

Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has an extremely small head in comparison. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, “You know, I really don’t want to be rude but your head is so small compared to the rest of your body!” The big guy nods slowly. He’s obviously heard this many times. “Want to know why? There’s a good story behind it,” he says. “Sure.” responds the bartender eagerly. “One day,” the muscular guy begins, “I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard a strange cry for help. I followed the cry until they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream crying.” “No s***?” says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued. “Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, ‘Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.’ I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. I mean, what the hell did I have to lose. Then POOF! The frog suddenly turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, woman. She said, ‘Thank you for saving me. I now grant you three wishes!’ It was hard to believe this was all happening, but there she was after a frog was just in my hands. So, I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, ‘I wish to be the size of Dwayne Johnson.’ She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of most of my clothes. She then asked, ‘What will be your second wish?’ I was still a virgin because no one ever wanted me the way I normally looked, so I looked at her and said, ‘I want to make sensuous love with you right here by this stream.’ She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours!” “Oh my!” said the bartender thoroughly enjoying the story. “So, as we lay next to each other, after our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, ‘You know, you do have one more wish my handsome man. What will it be?’ I actually was still feeling a little horny at that point and nothing in my life had ever been as good as what I had just experienced with her, so I looked at her and said, ‘I wish for a little head’ and there you have it…”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson