My two cats, Grace and Frankie, frequently demonstrate many of the very same behaviors that humans do when it comes to their interactions with each other. They are sisters having been with each other since birth, with my partner Chris and I being their second owners. Over the several years now they’ve been our pets, I certainly have come to witness quite a number of behaviors that remind me how pets are simply mirrors for us. It’s probably best to at least explain this by describing some of the personality traits of Grace and Frankie first.
Grace has to always be the center of attention. She never grows weary of being touched and will at times do her best to ensure you pay attention to her by inserting herself under your hand or using her paw to touch it, all to show she needs more love. And, she’ll whine loudly with one specific type of meow whenever she’s not getting it. She also becomes extremely jealous whenever her sister is being shown greater affection and has been known to get into a fight with Frankie over it. In addition, Grace likes to do certain things that only she can do but never done back to her. Take for example the action of grooming. She loves to groom her sister, even her sister’s butt of all things. I know, gross! But she will most certainly swipe at Frankie when Frankie tries to do the same with her. And when Grace wants you to know she’s not getting what she wants, she’ll disappear down the hall giving you the clear silent treatment. She most assuredly has positioned herself as an alpha cat here and comes across more than not as needy, selfish, and self-centered.
Frankie on other hand is the exact opposite. She likes to groom anyone and everyone, including our guests. She’ll do this on the couch behind you, licking the hair and scalp of whomever is there, including rubbing herself against your head, all to show her unconditional love for you. She’s also overly humble and will actually wait for her sister to get served food and treats first before she’ll even touch any of her own. Frankie does withdraw far more than Grace into secluded parts of our home and likes her solitude generally getting annoyed when Grace tries to disturb that. But rarely does Frankie ever stand up for herself during those times either. Instead, she just gives up, which sometimes even includes her favorite bed, perch, or sitting area, all to avoid having a confrontation with Grace.
What I find most interesting though about all this is how much Grace and Frankie are simply mirrors for me at times. I’ve been irritated with Grace for being so needy, yet how many times have I been needy, demanding attention in life? I’ve been irritated with Grace as well for all the rules she makes up and breaks whenever she feels like it, but how many times have I done the same, only keeping to the rules I make that benefit me? I’ve also been irritated many times with Frankie for not standing up for herself, where she gives up something precious to her like a favorite toy, yet how many times have I given up things that are precious to me for the happiness of another, while at my own expense? I’ve even been irritated with Frankie when she rarely puts herself first, but how many times have I done the same with my own health needs. The point is, I love the fact that I can see how my cats are simply mirrors for me, especially when I get frustrated at any of their behaviors, something I know now is just a projection of things from my own life.
So, maybe our pets are simply mirrors for us. And if that’s truly the case, the next time you find yourself getting angry or irritated at your pet for some behavior you don’t like, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and look for what that mirror could be, as you may just discover a piece about yourself that your pet is merely reflecting back onto you, all for you to see more clearly…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
