Category: Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

God: “Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth.”
Angel: “Wow! So, what are you going to do now?”
God: “I guess I’m going to call it a day…”

Silly Joke #2

Person 1: Ya gotta love Easter you know?
Person 2: Why do you say that?
Person 1: Because Easter is the only day we get to celebrate something so crazy as Jesus rising from the grave and then coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs!

Silly Joke #3

After a long, dry sermon, the Minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board after the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger. “I think you misunderstood my announcement? This is a meeting for the board”, said the Minister. “I know!” said the man. “If there is anyone here more bored than I was during your service, I’d like to meet them!!!”

Bonus Silly Joke (Adult humor)

There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, “It’s simple. I just say, I’m a lawyer.” So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said “No,” he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning. She said, “Oh really? You’re a lawyer?” He said, “Yes I am!” She was so excited she wanted to go back to his place. Soon, they were in bed, screwing, eventually he started to laugh to himself. When she asked what was so funny, he answered, “Well, I’ve only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I’m already screwing someone!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke #1

Little Johnny came downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter honey?” “Well, Dad was hanging pictures, and hit his thumb with a hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears. “Well, that doesn’t sound so serious or explain why you are crying so much?” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but this doesn’t really sound like something to cry about dear? Why don’t you just laugh it off? “I did Mommy, really hard, and Daddy ended up spanking me cuz of it!!!” sobbed Johnny.

Silly Joke #2

Anna: I’m in a big trouble!
Billy: Why is that?
Anna: I saw a mouse in my house!
Billy: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
Anna: I don’t have one.
Billy: Well then, buy one.
Anna: I can’t afford one.
Billy: I can give you one of mine if you want.
Anna: I’d like that. Thank you!
Billy: All you need is put some cheese in it to make the mouse come to the trap.
Anna: I don’t have any cheese.
Billy: Well, then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
Anna: I don’t have any oil.
Billy: Well, then, just put a small piece of bread on it, it should still work.
Anna: I don’t have any bread.
Billy: Why the hell then is a mouse doing at your house if you don’t have anything!

Silly Joke #3

Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.
Patient: Ok Doc, so what’s the cure?
Doctor: Well, that’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused on your health plan right now ok?

Silly Joke #4

It was Schneider’s birthday, and that morning there was a knock on the door.
“Telegram!”
He opened the door excitedly, “Is it a singing telegram?” Schneider asked the messenger boy.
“No Sir. No one does singing telegrams anymore.”
“I’ve always wanted a singing telegram though! Can’t you bend the rules and make an old man happy?”
“Sorry.”
“Please,” begged Schneider. “It’s my birthday!”
“Oh, fine!” said the boy,
“Dah-dah dee… dee-dee-dah, your sister Ruth is dead!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke #1

A professor was giving a really difficult test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over each of the students handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “Here’s a dollar per point given to me…” The next class the professor handed the tests back out. The student got back his test with a note and an envelope attached below it, “Here’s your results and your $64 change…”

Silly Joke #2

Billy Bob and Bubba were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Bubba, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.” Bubba asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?” Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earlene with me!”

Silly Joke #3 (3 quick ones)

Little Johnny – “Dad, what’s the difference between the word “confident” and “confidential?””
Little Jonny’s Dad – “Hmm. Well, you are my son, of that I am confident! But, your best friend Timmy is also my son, and that’s confidential!”

Nutritionist: You really should be limited your caloric intake to 1200 calories a day.
Me: Ok, that sounds pretty doable. But how many can I have at night?

Potential Boss: “So, do you have any other questions for me?”
Potential Employee: “Well, what exactly does “competitive salary” mean? 
Potential Boss: “It means your salary will be competing with your bills!”

Bonus Silly Joke (Adult humor)

An elderly couple who are both widowed have been courting for a long time. They decide it’s finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they go out to dinner and talk about how their marriage might work. They discuss finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the man broaches the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex?” he asks, rather tentatively. “I would like it infrequently,” replies the old lady. The old gentleman sits quietly for a moment, adjusts his glasses, leans over towards her and whispers: “Is that one word or two?”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson