Would You Like To Live “Forever”?

Would you like to live forever? Would you want to discover a fountain of youth? These are questions I’ve been pondering since I began watching this new television series on ABC starring Ioan Gruffudd, which is ironically titled the same, “Forever”.

The premise of this series is about a New York City medical examiner named Dr. Henry Morgan who has been trying to discover the reason for his immortality for over 200 years. What is even more interesting about this show is its science fiction spin with how Henry never ages and how if by some chance he dies by gunshot or some other random tragic event, he only wakes up in a body of water nearby, completely naked and looking exactly the same. While the science fiction of “Forever” may be a little far-fetched for anyone to believe it could ever happen in real life, the idea of discovering a fountain of youth someday probably does interest a large amount of the world’s population, except I must say I’m not one of them.

I can honestly admit that I wouldn’t want to go on to live forever, at least in this physical vessel. Of course I should state my belief that there’s a soul within me immortal already. But stepping aside from having that philosophical discussion about the existence of a soul, I truly can’t imagine what it would be like to remain 42 years old for centuries and millenniums to come. Would it be interesting to see how technologies evolved (or didn’t), whether equality grew (or not), or did the planet head towards world peace (or further war)? Sure, but there are so many things I wouldn’t want to see though.

Following the example of “Forever”, let’s pretend only I have this fountain of youth. The idea of watching my entire family and loved ones grow old and die doesn’t seem all too alluring. Neither does it seem that enticing to me to watch the person I’m in love with grow old and die while I’m left behind having only the option of restarting the process all over again. I think I’d also fear my immortality would get discovered just like Henry does in the show, because then I’d probably just become someone’s government lab rat if that were to happen. But let’s change the example for hypothetical purposes and say the entire world discovers this fountain of youth. Overcrowding would then occur, which most likely would only lead to higher governmental controls, and in turn that undoubtedly would just amplify everything exponentially we are already seeing happening in our world today.

Territorial wars, civil unrest, the rich getting richer, the poor getting poorer, and people becoming more selfish and self-centered, that’s what I believe would transpire if the fountain of youth were discovered one day. There are actually several great movies that have depicted this already with one of my personal favorites being “In Time”. Elysium is also another interesting one to check out as well.

The fact remains that I kind of like the spiritual changes I’ve been going through so far in life of being a kid and then growing into my teenage years, and of becoming a young adult and then maturing into full adulthood, which is where my spiritual journey has me right now. While the idea of growing old may scare me slightly, especially in a world so obsessed with beauty and good looks, I think it would scare me a whole heck of a lot more if I remained this age and then endured something tragic such as becoming paralyzed, losing my limbs, becoming blind or deaf, and having to live with any of those conditions for an eternity.

So I may not like the wrinkles that are developing, or the gray hair that’s spreading, or the aches and pains that are growing, but there is one thing I really do like about my mortality. It’s watching my spirituality grow as I continue to age and evolve and believing the immorality and fountain of youth already resides deep within me, simply waiting to return home to its loving Source. In the meantime, I’m going to continue enjoying watching television series like “Forever” knowing I too would be just like Dr. Henry Morgan, longing to end his repetitive cycle of life without death…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

25 Meeting Indicators Of An Unhealthy Recovery Program

You can tell a lot about how healthy a person is in their recovery by simply observing them in the meetings they attend. Ok, I’ll admit it that I actually do this quite a bit, but maybe that’s because I didn’t take my own recovery all too serious for more than a decade. And this was always rather apparent by the behaviors I exhibited at most of the meetings I attended during all those years. So I decided it would be beneficial to write a list today of meeting indicators to pay attention to that are usually great indicators of an unhealthy recovery program, most of which happen to be ones I was definitely guilty of at one point in time myself.

  1. Spending the majority of a meeting surfing the Internet.
  2. Spending the majority of a meeting on Facebook.
  3. Spending the majority of a meeting texting someone.
  4. Routinely taking smoke breaks during a meeting.
  5. Habitually leaving a meeting to answer phone calls.
  6. Regularly sharing at a meeting about nothing more than drama and negativity.
  7. Consistently arriving late to a meeting.
  8. Consistently leaving early from a meeting.
  9. Making jokes during almost every share.
  10. Joining a meeting and then barely attending it.
  11. Taking a position in a meeting and not fulfilling it.
  12. 13th Stepping a newcomer at a meeting.
  13. Using a meeting as a dating pool.
  14. Doodling and scribbling during a meeting, especially in the books provided.
  15. Receiving 24-hour chips over and over again.
  16. Overly exaggerating one’s importance during every share.
  17. Constantly holding a meeting hostage with very long shares.
  18. Constantly trying to make a meeting be about oneself.
  19. Altering elements of a meeting to suit one’s own comfort without asking anyone else.
  20. Stealing money from the collection at a meeting.
  21. Overly complaining about a meeting’s format.
  22. Telling people at a meeting there are better ways to find recovery than the 12 Steps.
  23. Telling people at a meeting you don’t need a Higher Power to have good recovery.
  24. Gossiping to the person next to you in a meeting about the person sharing.
  25. Lying to everyone in a meeting about anything, such as one’s sobriety date.

I’m sure I could come up with plenty of other meeting indicators of an unhealthy recovery program if I thought about it more, but these are the ones I really think demonstrate it the most. Thankfully, none of them are characteristic of me anymore and I believe the strength of my recovery shows that quite clearly nowadays. I’m grateful to my Higher Power, to the 12 Steps, and my dedication to them both for helping me to finally take my recovery serious, not only in all the meetings I attend, but in the rest of my life as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Prayer To Begin Anew

Have you ever had one of those days where you felt so irritable that you ended up starting arguments with just about everyone you came around? I have because today was definitely one of them and I know I could have handled things so much better than I did. But thankfully I’ve learned in 12 Step Recovery from my addictions that I can begin anew at any time, which is what I’m trying to do right now as I compose this entry.

There was actually a common theme to each of the arguments I started over the course of this off-kilter day. In every case, it was my expectations that weren’t being met with how I wanted people to treat me. The key word I need to pay the most attention to here is “expectations”, as it is they that have always been the thing to lead me into having some serious resentments. While it was my ego’s natural inclination to be upset at the lack of integrity and unconditional love I felt from people today, all of that was based upon expectations I had placed upon everyone.

Normally I’m much better at preventing myself from creating expectations like this these days, but unfortunately, today just wasn’t one of them. Whether that was due to my nightmare-laden and restless sleep from the night before, the high levels of physical pain I had throughout the day, or something else altogether, I can’t say. Regardless, I didn’t disseminate the peace, love, light, and joy today that I usually try to every single day. I’m sure part of that, if not all of it, was due to me not taking a few extra moments to pray and ask for help. For some reason, I carried the burden mostly on my own today and that didn’t pay off too well.

It was clearly a good reminder though of how my days used to be for me when I didn’t allow God to be in charge of much of my life. The result of living that way when I did was no different than the brief taste I got from it today, which was a stomach full of poison in the form of ugly resentments. Having that inside me right now really doesn’t feel good at all and the only way I know how to change that and begin anew is to pray, so here goes nothing…

“Dear God, I took my will back today again and again and again. I placed expectations on people that I honestly can’t say I know all that’s going on within each of them. I became resentful in the process and I know that doesn’t bode well for the spiritual path I’m trying so desperately to remain on. So I ask for Your forgiveness for any pain or harm my words may have brought any of Your children today and I also ask that each of those people forgive me as well. Help me God to be free of any resentments I may have put back within me today. I unconditionally love and forgive myself for falling short of my spiritual ideal today and thank You God for helping me to begin anew once again.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson