The Daily Check-In Call

There are plenty of people who probably wouldn’t agree with some of my sponsorship methods in 12 Step recoveries. But there is one in particular that seems to garner the most dissent and that’s the daily check in call I require of each of those I take through the steps. Ironically, I was once one of them that thought it was an unnecessary and cumbersome task, until I eventually saw how invaluable it was on my own path to recovery.

Before I ever started working on my recovery from a life of addictions though, I didn’t think much about recovering from anything. Life was pretty much about me and my selfish wants, needs, and desires, 24/7. When I met my first sponsor and was given the lowdown on her requirements for sponsorship, one of them was that I needed to call her every single day and check in. What that entailed was me letting her know how I was doing for the day, if I had made a meeting that day, and whether I had any pressing issues to discuss with her.

Initially I had no problems keeping to this specific requirement. In fact I rather enjoyed doing it because I used it to complain a lot during them about the drama still going on in my life at the time. But after six months or so had passed following her guidelines and sponsorship, my life had grown more stable, which is precisely when I began balking at the necessity of continuing to call her every single day.

She never batted an eye though anytime I was irritated with having to keep calling her each day. Her answer as to why it was still necessary was quite simple. She said if I couldn’t remember to at least take a few minutes out of each day to check in with her, then I most likely wasn’t thinking about my recovery at all that day.

She was right.

Soon after I reached the year mark working with her, she dropped that requirement to do the daily check-in call and left it in my court to reach out to her when I wanted. At first I kept it up for awhile but ultimately I started giving other people, places, and things much higher priorities in life than my recovery. The more I did that, the less I found myself wanting to do those daily check-in calls. And the less I found myself wanting to do those daily check-in calls, the more I returned to that life that was pretty much about me and my selfish needs, wants, and desires, 24/7. Years later I finally understood the true purpose of the daily check-in call was really just a benchmark for the state and health of my recovery. This is why I now utilize the same requirement for each of my own sponsees.

Sometimes I have a good chuckle when I see one of them walking in the same footsteps as I once did, getting resentful about having to call me each day. But time and time and time again, each time a sponsee starts missing days or tries to utilize text messages as a substitute for the daily check-in call, the only thing that’s really happening is their recovery is sliding backwards. Most who go this route just end up relapsing or becoming a dry addict on some level, which is exactly what I did.

So while there will most likely always be those who won’t agree with some of my sponsorship methods like this daily check-in call I require of a sponsee, I know my technique works. Why? Because practicing it has led not only me, but also many others, into a life with a much healthier recovery. Thank God I still have that, and thank God for each of my sponsees who discover that as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Christmas Prayer For Those Less Fortunate

Another Christmas has finally arrived, where plenty of warm homes will see children delightfully ripping open presents with excitement and glee. Just as much as I’m sure there will be many others where only grown-ups will be exchanging presents with each other as well. Soon bellies will also be full for both the young and the old from those large holiday meals.

But what about those on this day who have no place to call home and are out there roaming the streets?

And what about those that have a home but with no food to put on their table today?

And what about those that had no money to buy their children or loved ones any gifts to open today?

And what about those that have nobody to spend today with at all?

It’s so easy to forget about anyone who is less fortunate than ourselves while soaking up all that we have on days like today. I personally remember a very lonely December 25th spent in a Chinese restaurant, ultimately friendless and present-less. I’m grateful I’m not in that place in life anymore, given I have a partner that I love dearly who I’ll be spending this day with, as well as with many others in recovery I’ll be seeing at various Christmas parties I attend. But my heart is still saddened for all those on this day who may not have anyone or anything at all to look forward to. Thus, I feel led to write a prayer today for all those who may be less fortunate than myself, which I truly hope will inspire you to send out your own prayers for them as well…

“Dear God, I pray for all of those out there today that may be homeless. May you guide each of them to places where they are embraced and kept warm. I pray for all of those today that may not have a single gift to open as well. May you provide each of them the best gift of all, which is an abundance of your unconditional love. I pray for all of those today too that may not have any food whatsoever to put on their table. May you lead each of them to places that will give them a bountiful and delicious meal for free. And lastly, I pray for all of those today that are lonely and have no one to spend it with at all. May you bring each of them some loving companionship, as I don’t believe you would want any of your children to be alone on this special day. Please bless us all God and help us to be grateful for what we have today and not what we don’t, and please bless those who may be less fortunate than ourselves, as they too deserve everything each of us have in life as well. I’m truly grateful for my own life God and for what I’ve been given. Thank You for everything and Merry Christmas! Amen.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“Serendipity”, A Movie That Truly Stirs The Heart

It’s the day before Christmas and thankfully not one I’ll be spending the majority of running around doing last minute shopping. Instead, I’m going to enjoy spending it with my partner relaxing at home having an early holiday meal and then watching my most favorite romantic movie that I put into my DVD player each year just before December 25th arrives. What is that movie? Serendipity.

I guess you could say that Serendipity was not actually geared as a Christmas movie when it first came out given much of it takes place during other times of the year. But, since its first scene takes place during the busy Christmas shopping season at Bloomingdales in New York City, it’s become that to me. When this film was actually released in late October of 2001, the world had just gone through some very trying times with the events of 9/11. My own heart had been extremely heavy because of this and I hadn’t felt very Christmassy because of it. But there was something quite magical about the film that after its brief running time of 90 minutes had passed, I had been stirred enough to bring the holiday spirit back into my heart.

The movie itself revolves around John Cusack as Jonathan Trager and Kate Beckinsale as Sara Thomas, who may possibly be two star-crossed lovers destined to be together, but in the Universe’s own unique way. Their story unfolds as each reach for an expensive pair of gloves at the same exact time in the famed department store in lower Manhattan. With one glove in each other’s hand, a moment is shared between the two that becomes enough of a catalyst for them to spend the rest of the day together. Sara invites John to her favorite spot in the Upper East Side, which is a boutique restaurant and dessert shop of the same name as the movie, Serendipity. Jonathan asks why the place is so special to her, which Sara responds it’s in the name itself. She says the name means when things happen by chance and cause good luck or fortune for an individual. Jonathan playfully banters how the pair of gloves was “serendipitous” for the two of them, even though he’s engaged and soon to be married. Sara is obviously flattered but admits to having a boyfriend as well. When their day comes to a close, it’s apparent they have a certain chemistry lacking in their own respective relationships. But when Jonathan eventually asks for her number, fate seems to intervene when the wind suddenly wisps it out of hands and away into a sea of others. Jonathan tries his best to convince her it’s not a sign, but Sara’s quite adamant it most definitely is. Seeing how Sara places so much on the word “Serendipity”, he agrees to another exchange of numbers, but this time in a very strange way. Jonathan is to write his name and number down on a five-dollar bill and she on the inside of her favorite book, Love In The Time Of Cholera. After buying a pack of mints with the money his information is now on, she says she’ll donate her book to one of the local used bookstores tomorrow. Hence the premise of this movie truly begins. Will the five-dollar bill find its way back into her hands? Will the book make its way back into his?

I have watched Serendipity countless times now since I first was enthralled by its charm in the theater all those years ago. Maybe that’s because I ultimately believe God operates in the same type of mysterious ways with each of us or maybe it’s because my heart moves so incredibly every time my eyes and ears are entertained when its playing. Either way, Serendipity is a magical movie that has managed to become a regular part of my life each year. So I look forward to watching it again tonight with my partner, as I know it will once again truly stir my heart and bring out more of that festive holiday spirit…

Have a great Christmas Eve everyone!

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson