In the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) within Massachusetts, there is this thing that people take part in called a “Commitment”. When I first moved to this state, I had no idea what that was. My idea of an AA meeting was always where either one person just shared about their full story of addiction or where people just raised their hands and talked about whatever was on their minds. In this state though, things are done a little different, as many AA groups have monthly standing obligations on a calendar to go to other meetings, hospitals, detox centers, halfway houses, and prisons just to share about their recovery to others who have suffered or are still suffering from addictions. And each one of those obligations is what is referred to here as a “Commitment.”
It’s funny looking back now at the first commitment I came across in this state. In my first week of moving here, I had been invited to go to my closest friend’s home group which was on a Friday night in West Bridgewater. The group was named A New Way of Life and when I arrived there, having no knowledge of commitments or what they were about, I told my friend I needed to speak about what I was going through. When he informed me about these things called commitments and how a group was coming in that night to speak about their experience, strength, and hope in recovery, I told him I had a lot of that even though I didn’t. To me AA had always been about a dumping ground where one would lay out their garbage at everyone’s feet just to get it off their chest. I did this for years when I attended any meeting and this was what I was wanting to do that night as well. Prior to that night, all I had were twelve continuos years of being nothing more than a dry drunk with no hope and no recovery. I pushed him to convince this group, who I had no affiliation with, to let me speak anyway during this meeting. Ironically, I was called up to share, and when everyone was there to be inspired, all I managed to get out was my name, that I was an alcoholic and an addict, and that I was going to kill myself if I didn’t get help that night. Then I finished with nothing more than tears.
That was the beginning of my recovery and soon after, I started going out on those commitments with my friend’s group as I joined it that night. At first it was hard because I had nothing really positive to share, but over the years that followed since then, the more that I have worked on my recovery, the better my shares have become and the more people have listened. The less that I have worked on my recovery, the worse my shares have become and the less people have listened to me when I’m speaking. Over the past year, I have given 100% dedication to God and my recovery and in turn, have seen the benefits from that when I’ve gone on a commitment and shared.
Last night I actually got to go on one of these with my group when we had a standing commitment at a detox center in Weymouth. Before it came time for me to share, I prayed to have God’s words flow through me. I have found this really helps to focus on God’s will and not my will when I speak anywhere these days, especially on a commitment. So when my turn finally came at that detox center to convey my story, I believe that prayer helped me to get fired up with passion about my recovery. I spoke quite a bit about my closer relationship with God and how much work I’ve had to do to get to where I’m at in my sobriety. I mentioned how my addictions went way beyond just alcohol and drugs. And I offered hope to everyone by showing how far I’ve come since that first night in recovery when I convinced my friend and that group to allow me to speak on their commitment.
It seems as if everyone pays full attention to me today when I share in any type of meeting such as what I saw happen last night. I attribute that to the 100% I’m giving to God and my recovery now each and every day. An even better sign of my growth in recovery came last night when most people came up and shook my hand and a man named Will even asked for my phone number. In the past, I can remember many of these commitments where none of that ever happened.
I really live for this type of volunteer work now and look forward to each time I go on one of these speaking engagements. It’s my hope when I share now at any of them, that at least one person will be inspired enough to take more action in their recovery like Will did last night. I’m glad I’ve grown so much healthier from that ego-centric person who just needed to speak on someone else’s commitment all those years ago. There is a night and day difference between who I was then and who I am now when I go out with my group on any of them. I can only give that credit to the hard work I’ve placed in my recovery, and of course to God, who has solely guided me there.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
