After a long battle and many months of speculation, the Supreme Court has finally made their ruling on two landmark battles over gay marriage. Not only can California same sex couples legally marry again, but all married same-sex couples in the country are entitled now to federal benefits with the Court’s overturn of the Defense of Marriage Act.
The real question though for most proponents of gay marriage is probably going to be what happens next for all those other states in the country where gay marriage isn’t legal. On some level, I guess I happen to be lucky in the eyes of many of those gay and lesbian people who live in those states, given that I already live in a place where same sex marriage is legal. What those people and many others as well still aren’t getting though, is that regardless of how many states approve gay marriage, and even if it somehow becomes a constitutional amendment one day, it won’t erase the racism and prejudice that many people still have in the United States.
So despite the fact that I live in a very proactive state which approved same sex marriage many years ago, if anyone spent enough time here, they would most likely see how there are still way too many individuals who despise gays and lesbians. I hear people all the time shouting angrily the words “fag”, “faggot”, or “dyke” to someone else. I often catch wind of news reports where a hate crime occurred with a gay individual or kids in school have being taunted and bullied just for acting slightly flamboyant or being suspected of being gay.
The sad reality is that I would go so far as to say that every law could be put into place which would create equal rights and protections for gays and lesbians but it still wouldn’t matter. There is far too great of a number in the United States who are currently raising their children to be hateful towards people like me. Even worse, as much as I love God and believe that the salvation of Christ exists, there are a ton of Christians who are driving much of this hate. Just recently, my sister who lives near Nashville, Tennessee, said that my 11 year old twin nephews were hanging out with a kid their own age who comes from a Christian family, and that he said he hated “fags’ and that God hated them too. She made sure to tell my nephews after that to not bring their gay Uncle up in conversation to him or anyone. It makes me sad that my family has to hide in fear of who I am just because of the hate that persists out there.
I’m happy though that the Supreme Court took a positive stand and steps in the right direction for gay and lesbian people with their ruling yesterday. But I believe the real work needs to be done on a more grass roots level. I’ve said this before in previous writings and I’ll say it again. Most of the resistance to embracing any legislation that supports same sex marriage is because of this hate that people have towards those with my sexuality. What’s ironic is that most of those driving this hate use God and the Bible as their weapons of division but what they are continuously being blinded from seeing is that God is about unconditional love and nothing else. Anyone who says otherwise, is usually just talking from a place of fear and ego.
Martin Luther King Jr. had it right when he gave unconditional love in the face of hate, violence, and anger coming at him. He led a wonderful movement of many people who supported him in this. Eventually, most of American’s hearts turned towards equal rights for men and women of color when they saw the destruction and loss of life that came from their hate. I have been taking a page in his book because of this, and I do my best today to love everyone equally, even those who may spit in my face, call me a “fag”, tell me I’m going to hell, or that God hates me. I realize they just learned this from someone else and know no better. Maybe I can be the first one to show them what real love is all about. And when enough gays and lesbians can practice this concept of loving everyone equally, including even those who look at them with hate, then maybe we’ll get a truly United States. One where it doesn’t discriminate on gender, race, national origin, religion, age, marital status, disability AND sexual orientation on any level and one where there doesn’t have to be a battle anymore for us to gain equal rights to get there.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson