Month: January 2014

Playing The Victim?

I’ve been deep in thought about a comment that a dear friend of mine made a few days ago through an e-mail he sent me. In it he stated there’s an underlying theme in most of my blog entries that seem to surround the pains and struggles I’ve been through in life. That is definitely a true statement. But he also wondered if in doing so, that I was constantly trying to play the victim on some level.

By definition, someone who plays the victim is when they practice exaggerating or distorting a memory or description of events so as to cast oneself as unjustly treated, hurt, abused or neglected. To put it in a simpler way, it’s when a person seeks out sympathy from others by constantly blaming someone or something else for their problems and troubles in life.

To be completely blunt, playing the victim is by far the furthest thing I’m trying to do with any of the words I write in this blog. The reason why I share the way I do in each of my entries is solely because I’m trying to connect to all those people in this world who feel that no one understands what they are going through. Some of the very issues I’ve gone through in life are things that people just don’t want to talk about openly. Many feel alone in this world much in part because they won’t share openly about these types of things. They feel they have to hide them, but in doing so, they also end up feeling utterly alone inside and that no one understands them.

So while some close to me have argued that I share way too much in my writings, what they don’t understand is how much it’s helping others to not feel so alone in this world. They also don’t realize the amount of freedom, growth, and healing I’ve been getting from writing in this way either. Look, I have no secrets today and I feel much closer to God because of it. I started this blog as a homework assignment from both a therapist and a spiritual teacher who suggested that it would help me heal. When I began writing in it, I never really thought anyone was going to read it. But as time moved forward, I was proved wrong on that notion and saw that my sharing so openly about my life was somehow not only helping me to heal, but others too.

I know that it may seem at times with some of my entries that I’m very frustrated. I would venture to say that the theme in most of those probably had to do with the physical pains I still am dealing with. Please understand that I write about that very subject in the way I do because it has helped me to make it through those days when I feel most like giving up. I’ve found that in writing about my physical pain on those days that it’s forced me to look for the positive and also helped me to turn my day around for the better.

So as I continue to write about any of the pains and struggles I’ve had throughout life, I encourage each of you reading about them to take a moment, breathe, and realize I’m not trying to play the victim in doing so. While there WAS a time in my life where I lived this way more than not, the present is definitely not one of them. I truly don’t blame anyone else for what I’ve been through or am still going through, nor do I wish to have anyone’s sympathy for it either. My only hope in writing the way I do, beyond my desire to heal and grow closer to God, is for all of you to do the same.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Some Interesting History Behind The Serenity Prayer

In just about every recovery meeting I’ve ever attended, whether it be AA or any other fellowship, I’ve recited something known as The Serenity Prayer. Having said this prayer so many times over the years now, I finally grew curious as to where it originated. What was interesting was how much I learned in my research for that answer.

One of the first things I discovered, that I’m sure many might not know, is the Serenity Prayer spoken in recovery meetings isn’t actually the full version of it. The following is what is known as its ‘long’ version:

“God, give me grace to accept with serenity 

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.”

Over the years, even this version of The Serenity Prayer has come under scrutiny as to whether it’s even the first iteration of it. There also has been a tremendous amount of speculation as to who originally came up with its words. Most sources seem to claim that a Dr. Reinhold Niehbuh, a theologian in the 1940’s, is that person. But even Niehbur questioned himself at one point when he told an interviewer that versions of the prayer could have been around for years or even centuries.

Upon further research, Bill Wilson, the founder of AA himself, even wrote in the book A.A. Comes of Age that “some say it [The Serenity Prayer] came from the early Greeks; others think it was from the pen of an anonymous English poet; still others claimed it was written by an American Naval officer…” In my research, other sources further cited ancient Sanskrit texts, Aristotle, St. Augustine, St Thomas Aquinas, Spinoza, Cicero, Boethius, Marcus Aurelius, St. Francis of Assisi, Thomas More, and Friedrich Christoph Oetinger, all as possibilities of being the original creator of The Serenity Prayer.

While the exact origin and author of this prayer may be shrouded in uncertainty, there is something else I found even more fascinating about it. The version I’ve come to know and love was originally not conceived as an antidote to addiction. Instead it is said that Niehbur wrote it in response to the evils going on with Nazi Germany during World War II. Being a first-generation German-American, Neihbur was safe from the persecution in his native country, but powerless to oppose Hitler. Sources claim he wrote The Serenity Prayer because of this and it was used for a sermon he gave at the Union Church in Heath, Massachusetts. Thus, the intent behind Niehbur’s prayer was in direct response to the horrors going on in his country with the treatment and genocide of the Jewish people.

In 1944, Niehbur’s prayer was published in The Book of Prayers and Services for the Armed Forces. At that time, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous was only in its beginning stages. But apparently a copy of The Serenity Prayer eventually made it to the desk of Bill Wilson, who in turn asked Niehbur for permission to use it in the meetings he was leading. After receiving it, Bill toned down some of its religious connotations by shortening it and changing a few of its words to the following that we in recovery all know and love so well:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

 the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.”

To this day, it’s Bill Wilson’s version of The Serenity Prayer that has become an incredible symbol of faith, hope, and acceptance for so many who have suffered from one addiction or another. So while there may always be a little bit of mystery surrounding this prayer’s true origin and author, I’m just truly grateful to God that it even exists at all. It’s words have been an inspiration to not only me, but countless of other alcoholics and addicts who have used its words for decades to find their own recovery from their addictions too.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Prayer For Letting Go Of Control

For years I never let go of control with anything in my life. I found it so hard to also let go of any of my negative patterns, programmings, and behaviors. A few years ago I really started praying diligently to God for help in this matter. I want to share my prayer with you as I know it can help you as much as it did me…

“Dear God, I’m really struggling with letting go of control in my life. I know I live in a lot of self-will and I need Your help to remove it. I don’t want to keep living my life this way. Will You please eliminate all my negative patterns, programmings, and behaviors that constantly lead me to take control away from You? Please take from my life all the things that keep me separate from You. I am open to whatever you need to put back in my life that will bring me closer to You. I truly want You to be at the helm of my life guiding me in every thought, word, and action. I love you God and I’m grateful that You’ve heard this prayer. May Thy will, not mine, be done, always, now and forever. Amen.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson