Teachers come into our lives all the time. Sometimes they come in a traditional form if one is say in the middle of their educational years. But there are frequently many other times they may appear in ways you may not think of them as a teacher, but indeed they are. Some of those can include a superior or a boss at a place of employment, a co-worker, a friend, a partner, a sponsor, and even a total stranger who pops in your life for a mere fraction of a moment. In other words, there are teachers all around us, but the real question is, are you teachable?
I ask this question because of how I once used to be. During my schooling years, I used to question my teachers on many of their lessons, thinking I always knew better. During my corporate years, I often butted heads with my superiors and bosses because of my constant attempts to do things my way instead of theirs. With my co-workers, I was quite good at micro-managing each of them, but was terrible at listening to when they had any guidance or direction for me. During most of the long term relationships I had with former partners, I rarely saw things in any way other than my own, even when I was provided with areas I could work on that would have helped me spiritually grow. When I had a sponsor in my 12-Step recovery programs, at first they were only by title and I rarely took any of their advice. Later, when I began taking my recovery more seriously, I often balked at some of their simple suggestions and plans of action. And in regards to those total strangers, whenever one of them would randomly appear in my life and offers some invaluable instructions, it would generally go in one ear and out the other.
The fact of the matter is that I wasn’t teachable for the longest of time. Things had to always be my way or the highway. And in most cases, all this did was prevent me from learning things that I believe my Higher Power was trying to teach me. Most recently I was reminded of how I used to be when a former sponsee did a behavior I once did. During a conversation with this person after giving them some guidance, they angrily shouted they had 27 years of sobriety, that it should count for something, and that I was treating them like a newcomer who had less than 30 days. Sadly, this sponsee was not open to learning and being taught what I had to offer them and I wasn’t either many years ago when it came to the sponsors I had in recovery.
I am convinced that we can all be teachers and students to each other in this world and that we just need to remain open to wherever the lessons may come. If our cup is constantly full of our own ideas, thoughts, and reasoning with how we think things should be, then we will fail to be open and willing to learn from a teacher when they appear.
That’s exactly what happened to me until just a few years ago when I finally realized how much I was playing more of the know-it-all in life than a person willing to listen and grow. Today, what I truly want is to spiritually grow and I know to do that, I must be willing to take suggestions, guidance, and directions, regardless of what my ego thinks of them. Until I became willing to do any of them without hesitation, I was simply not teachable.
So if you happen to be someone who is constantly bickering or arguing with people around you about things they think might help your life, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and realize that you may not be teachable at the present time. It took a lot of pain and loneliness for me to accept that’s how I once was. Hopefully, you don’t allow that to happen in your own life. And maybe, just maybe, you might become more open to seeing how many wonderful teachers there already are in your life who are trying to help you spiritually grow.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
The day to receive this is the most definite plan of God for my life. I sit here pondering about my life on this dark rainy day focusing from early this morning on asking God to be at my side to comfort me and guide me in making decisions in my life. You see I have spent my life seeking teachers (if you will) to help me seek direction for my life, as I did not have anyone as an example to follow in my life. I would listen to people and follow their advise but the problem was that I was so needy for love and acceptance that I sucked the life out of them or I was expecting them to be able to fill my emptiness. I was afraid to trust my inner voice telling me what I need in my life. Yes I was not teachable in a different way, I was unable to teach myself. My experience in life is that I was not able to make decisions that would have a good turn out for my life. This came from my father, he would change his mind on a regular basis to keep control of everything. The example I use is from our family dinner table. it was a small table just big enough for 6 people and all the food was placed on the table before we sat and if I wanted the salt I would follow his pattern of asking for the salt even though it was within my reach thinking that it was the correct decision to make but to my surprise he would say”its right in front of you just reach out and get it”. Then I thought I knew what to do the next time and sure enough when I just reach out and got the salt he would say “where are your manners you need to ask for the salt and not reach out and take it”. This was the pattern in many areas in my life during my years of being raised therefore I have this learned behavior of not thinking I am able to make the correct decision for my life. Today for as much as I have experienced that life can be uncertain enough just because of change that occurs on a regular basis and the decisions I make may not have the outcome I want just on that basis and not all the decisions I have made in my life are due to my feelings of not being good enough. I am focusing on filling my life with love and light and joy through the love, light and joy of God and at this time it is a struggle to allow all my faith to be in the hands of something I cannot see for fear of being wrong. I continue to pray and lay my life in the hands of God and being patient is not one of my best qualities. Another thing that I do in my life is retreat and hide, to not speak up for fear of judgment or rejection for others, this is not healthy either. I ask that you keep me in your prayers as I will you.