“Love the sinner, not the sin…”
I’m truly not a big fan of the word “sin” because of the amount of religious weight that comes along with it. But I have to say I still love this phrase because of a belief I hold within me these days, which is that I’m meant to love everyone unconditionally. It’s probably best though that I begin with a definition of the word “sin” before I explain why.
Most would define “sin” as this, “an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.” But I found it interesting that Merriam-Webster provided a few other definitions where one was listed as “an action that is or is felt to be highly reprehensible.” This meaning is specifically the reason why I never liked the word “sin”. What one person thinks as a sin is truly just their belief and opinion. There is a large majority of people in this world who would probably find my same-sex relationship to be living in sin, although I most assuredly do not. No different than I personally believe it’s a sin to marry multiple people, except there are plenty of religious people in this world who definitely feel different.
Regardless, I think the word “sin” can be simplified down to three words, no matter what one’s religious background or spiritual beliefs are. From what I can see, it really comes down to what one considers being “a detestable action”. And of course, that’s always going to vary depending on the person. But there is one thing I’ve seen to be shared in common amongst all of the major religious and spiritualties and it’s about loving everyone, no matter what.
Jesus helped explain this lesson when he asked those to cast a stone at Mary if they never had sinned themselves. None supposedly did. Have you ever done a detestable action at some point in your life? I know I have. But does that make me unworthy of receiving love? Sadly, some continue to say it does and treat me accordingly.
What I believe though is that inside each and every individual in this world is a piece of God, or if you shall, a soul, that’s fully worthy and deserving of love. Unfortunately, so many suppress that part of themselves so deeply that it becomes difficult to see it within them. Instead, all that’s frequently seen is their darkness, i.e. their “sin.” And even though that may be the case and even though they may continue to do behaviors that seem detestable to another, I choose to follow this teaching of Christ by still loving them unconditionally.
Now that doesn’t mean I have to condone their actions nor does it mean that I have to spend time with them. It just means that I choose to love them from my heart because a part of God still lives within them somewhere. Some could say that I for years lived in a “sin” based life due to my massive addiction issues. So much of my behaviors were ultimately detestable. But that piece of God never flickered out within me and eventually it was able to burn away all that darkness so that I could become a much brighter being of light.
Thus it’s because of my own spiritual transformation I’ve come to believe we should all “love the sinner, and not the sin”. It’s because of those who continued to love me, even when I kept on “sinning” that I eventually found the light. And it’s because of my spiritual growth that I’ve realized that not everything I thought was a sin really was one. So today I do my best to love everyone unconditionally, no matter what their actions. Because in the end, by loving them, I love God, and to me, that’s all that matters anymore…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
I wonder about that definition of sin….
There are people who feel that protesting the Vietnam War was “detestable” or “highly reprehensible.” Ditto paying farmers to not grow crops while people are starving, or shooting or bombing civilians or children. Once upon a time, people considered drinking, smoking, and skirts-above-the-ankle to be detestable. I live not far from places where a black slave could have been whipped to death without consequences, while a chicken thief was eligible to be hung. That, to me, is still detestable and reprehensible.
My understanding of “sin” is simpler than most – it is “that which separates me from the love of God.” Nothing else but my own sin can do that, interestingly enough. Self-will, selfishness, self-seeking – that is “sin.” The rest is, perhaps, just delays in cultural adaptation.
My own experience is that folks who “love the sinner but hate the sin” have (a) a very selective list of what “sin” really is, and (b) love accosting the “sinners” and calling them out on their “sin.”
The religious-right love accosting GLBT folks on their so-called “lifestyle choices.” But I wonder what would happen if I accosted every person who I considered to be a spendthrift, and told them I loved them as a person even though they spent money on seemingly senseless and stupid stuff, but hated their purchase of the latest iPad? What if I accosted every person driving a Lexus, Infiniti or BMW, and told them that I love selfish and greedy sinners like them, but hate the greed demonstrated by their vehicles?
My experience is that there is a real drive within each of us to be the judge, jury, and sentencing official – and to control our surroundings and those around us. If I am using “Love the sinner and hate the sin,” it frequently means that I’ve already judged the sin AND the sinner, found them guilty, and found myself morally superior to them all.
Eloquently put Mr. Flower. 🙂 I enjoyed reading your hypothetical about the “religious-right” and what would happen if you accosted in various ways… anyway, interesting comments… thanks!